random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Guns of the Gaytriots]

I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU INTERNET RIBBINS AFTER THIS IS OVER YOU TWO FACED LITTLE CUNTBAG

@FBI here is a treat for you.

Source

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

A horror movie with titties? Is this man's life a slasher movie!?

Not a Hitler fan but the guy had charisma

Come on, Gay Farmers - for science!

It's not my fault my posts are so... penetrating.

Yeah I post on Kiwi Farms. That is the disorder

"Stop them!" I shouted, as I sped through London's Finsbury Park station in my electric wheelchair.

Naked bike rides are a capitalist invention.

 

[Overly Serious]

I think jews are the jews of Europe, to be quite honest

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

I am (not) sorry for ruining your mpreg fantasies, mr. bearhammer's alt.

 

[Uncle Buck]

“YOU haven’t been in the privacy of MY marriage” - Nick

True nuff. But we know **has** !!
> mandy
> all the wine moms on locals
> romaine and that other guy
> some whore in Jamaica
> Aaron Imholte
> April
> Matt
> also that other Matt
> Ethan Ralph?

… I’m sure I’m missing people I am only a inconstant follower of Rekeita lore but what I’m getting at is that Nick should really not invoke the private sanctity of Our Marriage

 

[Speedrunner]

He got caught because he was jacking his cock off in his car in public

 

[Gentlebastard]

One of the great ironies is that, technically speaking, Dominicans are, on average, more white than most of the rest of the Hispanics, but because their average admixture is like 57% White, 35% African, and the rest Taino, they can't claim whiteness. Calling them black doesn't work either, they'll just salsa dance that shit off. It's important to understand these things to ascend to the level of Advanced Racism so you better poke fun at them.

Is it normal in Wisconsin for both drivers in a crash to be drunk?

It is normal in Wisconsin for both drivers, the responding police officer, and the paramedics to all be drunk. Wisconsin is the drunkest state in America.

I have a complaint - it is not gay enough. Very poncy, but not gay enough.

You will enjoy art prison soon, stalker.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

I've been finding myself wondering, over the last few days, just who gains the most from this sudden hate of India. Who stands to benefit from turning us all against these people?

Then I realised: Me. I benefit. I benefit a lot.

A very good gambler once said
'Are we okay? I think I'm okay. I think we are okay. I think we're going to be okay.'
He did not turn out to be okay, but I really liked his message.

I always knew Teddy Ruxpin wanted to murder me.

It ain't the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean. In this case those motions were pretty rapey.

Reject Modernity, return to Teddy Ruxpin.

Is a man not entitled to shit in the street?

you're a faggot

a pedophile is into feet
a paedophile is into children

language is important. mullato rape babies (you) can't understand that.

(edit. this war is already lost, i don't advocate calling foot fetishists pedophiles, but it'd have been nice if english wasn't such a bastardized shit language.)

Yeah, like someone else out there said, there are journos out there who live and breathe penis and when they sleep they have penis dreams.

It's another slow news day. What's that, that you have for us? Golden Statete killer had a micropenis? Fantastic! Have it in my inbox by noon.

police noted there was a self pleasuring device suction cupped to the porcelain lid of a toilet tank on the bed

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

“Wanna know how I got these scars?” *lifts skirt*

WATCH ME MAKE MY PENCIL DISAPPEAR!

 

[Speedrunner]

Pedophiles think with their dick, because they don't have brains.

 

[Zeftax]

we DO NOT talk on the phone to the mothers of people upset about their Labubu

Ah yes, the notorious nazi tactic of giving homosexuals digital pink triangles, stealing their stickers, and ignoring demands to moderate their blog from horse content.

today i will cahnge things for no reason

 

[Aunt Carol]

Sad really, he lives in the small slice of human history where gays can have good lives and he's stuck here with a micropeen pretending to be a woman.

God could change Jill's brain structure. God could make that thinking slide in out of nowhere for Jill. Because God can move mountains. She has taken the first steps toward God. It's not enough, but He keeps his promises. He will make Jill right in time.

this is carnivore broccoli

first they came for the genitals, and I did not speak up because I removed my genitals.
then they came for the chromosomes, and I did not speak up because I legally changed them to say XX.
then they came for the gametes, and there was no one left to speak for me.

What's with that nose? Is this one of those 'jews' I hear so much about?

that nigga has Gender Identity Disorder, stop playing with me.

 

[Margo Martindale]

I am not depressed, I am angry. I am extremely angry and indignant that I am the world's omni-nigger. I am the nigger of all niggers, lower than the lowest nigger, beneath the calloused feet of the most dirty disgusting retard gorilla nigger.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

but what i really want you take away from this highly informative post is that destiny was brutally raped and that’s funny whether you like it or not

One time, our glorious feeder disagreed with me. After that, I want him dead. Also because videos load very slow.

You might need to take a step back and realize this site has some fucked up stuff not great for a developing mind.

If something changes and you don't like it chill the fuck out.

A very good gambler once said
'Are we okay? I think I'm okay. I think we are okay. I think we're going to be okay.'
He did not turn out to be okay, but I really liked his message.

free my nigga, couch guy he ain't do nothing but sleep on his couch.

We have way more representation now! Representation is now driving gaming to new heights now that fat, ugly women are represented in so many games.

Calling somebody a "cheating nigger assfuck" on your headset results in AI instantly banning you, creating a safe environment for cheating nigger assfucks to play without feeling marginalized

Irony can be funny or very obvious and gay.

If cringe was a war crime the e-girl who first fed him this "Hitler was a heccin' feminist" (because God knows he didn't come up with it himself) tard canard deserves the gas chamber, hold the wooden doors.

 

[frozen_runner]

My racism isn't advanced enough to tell me what this nigger is.

"Activate Windows" sign on the bottom right is a sign of a white man computer.

my condolences for you being canadian

If you instruct a delivery person to leave your package at the door, and they open your door, you should be legally allowed to rape and murder them, and get a discount of at least 20% on the order.

Anyway, I blame the jews.

The only ism I blame for this is autism.

Words words words and I ain't fucking reading em, you commie pinko faggot!

Rest in piss boomer tranny, you did nothing of note or worth.

Fuck, I need to wash my dice in holy water now.

The turban is coming from inside the house

You're my trans hero, Null.

I didn't want to read the article, the headline was disgusting enough.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I'm sorry but I've already depicted you as the backwards counting board user and myself as the forward looking Arabic numeral using chad.

Behead those who insult Calvin and Hobbes.

I need a "praying for God's just and immediate judgment on the whole Earth" reaction sticker

Wait until she learns he's got ambitions to be the brothel magnate of Nevada, treating his whores the way a whore deserves to be treated.

That'll definitely win her affections.

"I FUCK FILTHY WHORES! I WANT MORE FILTHY WHORES TO FUCK! I WANNA BE THE FILTHY WHORE KING!!!"

That intro. That goddamn intro. That cocksucking motherless fucking intro. This. This is what they play in Gitmo while waterboarding ragheads to give up the WMDs.

I may be over thinking the actions of a crazy person.

His quest for pussy crumbs (nay, atoms) knows no hurdle.

Now that I have come down slightly from this fresh hell, I have more questions.

He's a bit like a one-man cargo cult sometimes, with his woeful naiveté yet enduring optimism.

They do know jokes are supposed to be funny and not retarded threats, right?

Best of all, it's state-supported degeneracy, his favorite kind.

 

[The Cheese Aisle]

I wonder if they raped the mime because they figured she wouldn't tell anyone...

 

[Big Nasty]

I too thought he was violently retarded

cobras penis loop twu

 

[Aunt Carol]

Cry me a river, aging fuckboi.

He hasn't yet committed mass genocide, yet you're giving him a good reason to believe Latinos don't deserve human rights.

 

[dcss]

hazbin hotel is the only tiny little bit of joy i have had in months.