random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[AlfredHitchdick]

The wisdom I've come to from years of experience is that sometimes, it really is just better to stay home and jerk off.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Hasn't this broad already died twice already?

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

the first person who put me onto the vicious hatred of Indians was in my best friend who is a computer program

every post you make reeks of cheap cologne and goat fluids

Why should your shitty genes be passed on forcibly? Go have gay anal sex with Spic Fuentes.

 

[Dr. Butt]

"I don't know fellow redditors, I'm a 55 year old virgin and I do horrific fucked up shit to my balls and penises. Will women not find me attractive? "

 

[Aunt Carol]

Being normal makes people want to have a normal time with you.

Yay, cat hair on the dilation station!

And this is the model they use to suggest a terminally ill man has a vagina:

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

fucking garlic knot weiner

i wanna die now

 

[Aunt Carol]

You really must be desperate to fuck in a Target changing room, bud.

You have to be another level of desperate to want to do anal in a Target. Do it in a Tom Ford store; it's at least thematically appropriate.

Remember the golden rule: if the fic is about shits, farts, and diapers, it's a man. If it's about piss, shibari, or vaginas 'drooling' or labias 'fluttering shyly', it's a woman.

Why that sounds awfully HETEROSEXUAL

 

[Black Man Underwear]

if there was a keewee farms sauce, it couldn't be other thing than that rank blue ketchup from the 00s

 

[Gog & Magog]

Unfortunately I know of a mom with several children who's pooned out because she's obsessed with mpreg and yaoi

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Get off the Internet you deranged nigger, jc.

I actually read through his entire book recently - it's much easier to read with assistance from chatgpt. Much of it consists of him bragging about how awesome his house is and bitching about his ex-wife. 10/10 would recommend.

Hell, I don't get why people are so enraged by webcomic artists going batshit. It goes with the territory.

“Helluva Boss is for people with a fully developed prefrontal cortex and preferably some real life social experiences”

Dani shut up and go back to drawing your statutory rape art.

So you're all telling me that Styx's god only exists because some autistic woman's dad ended up being a faggot?

Oh my God, SHUT UP. SHUT UP, YOU STUPID BITCH.

Just because someone watches a series doesn't mean they like it. I watch Caillou. But I don't like that piece of shit.

I'm subsequently disgusted yet wholly unsurprised.

I'm getting Zootopia abortion comic flashbacks from that one.

Every time we say "How bad could it get?" we invite God to participate in the challenge and he is a fucking competitor.

It'd be you know, kind of a transactional fucking.

I may be a pathetic worm that uses GPT to jack off, but I'd never use for anything productive

Oh yes, the old, “don’t consent to an orgy for a chance to kiss your crush” joke. The most common & repeated joke around.

"RadioApple Poopypants Vomit AU". What the FUCK does this mean, nigger?

Wow. I hate it. Can't wait to watch every episode.

Your Arms Are Too Short To Box With God.

"By God, It's St. Michael with the steel chair!"

It's an offense to say I'm a Pajeet. I'm hispanic.

You see, by our logic, which is based and redpilled and correct, you'd be right, but in viv's logic, which is woke, gay and retarded, you'd be in the wrong.

I'm really sorry some psycho bricked up your doors and windows 20 years ago but if you have a cellphone, you can actually use it to call&pay for a crew to come take them down.

Let's get down to business
To defeat
The hons.

the idea of monster mash doing the graveyard smash makes me wanna puke

Jealous, femoids? Look at all the sex we have without you!

Highlight of the thread: "I was a lawyer and journalist before and being a porn star is MUCH more work."

George Lucas' Twi'lek fetish and its consequences could have been disastrous for Star Wars, but he sold it to Disney so even more disastrous consequences could happen

Unsurprisingly the based tranny-killing agricultural forum is full of humanocentrists.

That's because the topic was "Best Star Wars Waifu" not "Which female star wars character would be the best fuck". And the reason it was that is because we are civilized adults discussing lofty topics, and like civilized adults have Starwars subforum of the Rule34 forums open in another tab to have our discussions about gooning.

What is it about this tubby Australian that has such a hold on people? Has black culture really so saturated every aspect of life that now people are craving middle-aged butterballs?

if you go back far enough you can find pictures of her pudgy hands and thighs covered in open wounds, actually disgusted me.

"I'm open to dialogue but also you're wrong and I'm not going to even address your points, there's nothing left to say!"

Sometimes I wonder if Lola Bunny's existence was a failed 90s politically correct attempt at killing the classic Bugs Bunny crossdressing trope.

He just wants to PEEEEEEEE in the women's bathroom.

Lesbian mother and gay dad, just as the mormons intended <3

En noose = What happens when the wife takes the house and kids after you get caught stealing her soiled panties for the 10th time.

 

[Chromeo]

Is aggravated incest what Chris calls it when Barb says she "has a headache" but he climbs on top of her anyways?

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

Nigga. You don’t know the pain.

Every single day, I look at the moon, it’s bald, like my head. I look down at the people below. Young couples with beautiful blonde hair making out. A man with long hair plays frisbee with a dog who also has hair. Teen girls with long hair laugh at they walk down the street together. A man fixing his car sweeps his long surfer hair back, it shimmers in the night light.

I look back up and see that bald moon. I didn’t choose this curse, it was thrust upon me. Chromedome, baldie, no hair… I heard them all. A single tear falls down my cheek, as I reach out into the night sky, knowing perhaps not on this earth, my people rule as kings among men.

But for now, I live hairless in a gay toilet world. Please be more careful about mocking a group of victims, our lives are unique and difficult.

 

[neger psykolog]

"The lolcow is Jesus, the users posting on Kiwi Farms are the crowd outside the palace in Jerusalem, and the well-meaning progressives are Pilate. The picture is complete when Jesus / the lolcow is, regardless of the appeal to humanity made by Pilate / progressives, crucified."

 

[McMitch]

Why would someone use their limited time on earth to do something so purposeless and retarded?

 

[Premium Gonzo]

he heard that kindergarten song 'Do your balls hang low' and really decided to tie em in a knot and tie em in a bow

Imagine if you will a fleshy veiny pretzel stuck on the front of a skinny man's pelvis.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Your body is weak. You need to eat as many raw onions as you can in a single sitting. You will either overcome your allergy or die a heroic death.

How is an animal which regularly and boldly licks its own balls so perfect and noble?

Maybe it's the boldness...

'k, gonna go suck my own dick while making eye-contact with that cute chick at McDonald's. It's gonna work this time; I just know it.

This is the comically large bomb you lit and placed outside of Patrick's door only for him to sneakily relocate it to behind you as you crouch with your ears stopped up, only to realise the switcheroo moments before detonation, rendering you soot-blackened and smoking. Enjoy cartoon physics, stalker.

I know guys in their 60s and 70s that know how to meme and troll successfully.

This dude can't even use an image macro properly.

I just wish Hollywood would stop hiring dyslexics so we could get some proper gingers again.

Skilled Writer™ Patrick S Tomlinson decided to reply in such a way that "it" could reasonably refer to either the Holocaust or the argument, and given his propensity for clever and intentional writing I have to assume there's a reason he wouldn't sufficiently distinguish between a government organized extermination program and an argument he's having on twitter.

It's been a pure pleasure to watch him completely lose his mind and retreat into complete fantasy.

I don't "allow" tigers to eat people, but if you walk past the signs warning you of danger and stick your arm into the cage to pet the kitty, I'm not going to feel anything but schadenfreude for you.

That is actually so horrific that it didn't even register in my brain. Like, yeah, I see it. I know why it's bad. But I just had no reaction.

Human depravity has no bounds, and we live in times where people, somehow, feel okay to share it with the world. Hell doesn't come when we die: Hell is here, right now, on Earth.

I work in the medical field, and even I don't understand how this isn't self-mutilation worthy of involuntary commitment.

 

[NoReturn]

She is so shallow a bromeliad could survive on her.

 

[neger psykolog]

If you need the courage to kick a puppy, watch today's prestream and listen to Phil's life and health advice.

 

[Fannyscum]

You're just insecure, because you think I want to fuck your broke pirate sugar daddy.

 

[Meat Target]

I swear I had one of those twitter posts that has like the bottom part be a speech bubble and then it was a chibi hyperborean Asuka superspeed yapping but I think it's lost between the latex Asuka and the Asuka feet goon folders so this is the best I can do.

ATTENTION THIS USER IS A DEEP COVER REIFAG SENT HERE TO MAKE ASUKA LOOK BAD WITH MISINFORMATION