random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Meat Target]

This show looks gay as fuck. I'm adding it to my list.

 

[Black Man Underwear]

Spiderman would be a great border patrol agent

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Was the handcuffed dead male handcuffed onto a masturbation bike by chance?

"Come play with us, Danny!"

:picks a booger and eats it:

A font coup? Just like Hitler did!

Did we learn nothing from Sylvia Plath?!

We must secure the existence of Kiwi Pukupuku and a future for their hatchlings

just a scheme to make amputee tranny slaves for some sick fucks

Why aren't people's brains in their heads? What is going on at these places?

CWC is the master vampire of lolcows and all other lolcows just express his traits through genetic memory to a greater or lesser extent.

 

[Preacher ✝]

I do not have anything to do with the satan's asshole of a city named Fresno.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I really enjoyed the part where they both just stood on top of the wall and trauma dumped in therapy speak as fast as possible for 5 minutes straight with nothing else happening.

I fucking hate it here.
Where's the reboot button for society.

Splitting one of the most important load-bearing and stabilizing bones of the body, which serves as an anchor point for multiple major muscles. What could possibly go wrong?

I would like Crusty to feel real love, just once, for a very short period of time, so he would be able to know that what he pays for is not love, and he would suffer for the rest of his drooly life knowing that he will never have love again and what he used to think of as love was just a sick joke.

I'd feel sorry for him, if he wasn't such a shitty human.

I CANT EVEN FAP IN PEACE

If any of you ever feel overwhelmed this holiday season, just imagine a munchkin sobbing as she proclaims her manliness to an audience of no one, eggnog and tears running together down her face. Comedy!

This bitch's real problem is being terminally online and should be sentenced to a farm

He's the kind of person who would die on Christmas if he could.

If I had to awaken to that visage in prison, my first thought would be: "I hope I get raped fewer than five times today"...

 

[Thé au lait]

I may be a masturbater, but I'm not a master baiter.

Sometimes I think Jeffrey Dahmer has the right idea

I wish all this formalspeak wasn't necessary and you could just legally charge him for being a fat annoying retard.

I think for the sake of yourselves and society everybody in this thread should just invest in Tamagotchis

But a tamagotchi is neither warm or fuckable. That's pretty important

You just found a new and terrible idea for a tech startup.

this is bigger news than iRan or whatever the new Apple product is.

 

[Agarathium1066]

"The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which. Because they were all twerking."

 

[Zeftax]

I see this face and I start crying PLEASE PLEASE DON'T SODOMIZE ME!

I still have no idea what 90% of the posts in this thread are talking about, nor have I felt a compulsion to wear thigh high socks or derail a conversation talking about how Linux-GNU is superior.

The Great Game between the MILF coalition and the Transgender Empire is pretty fascinating. Whoever controls the Anal States controls the Bosporus and the Baltic Sea.

I didn't think such a person could exist before finding this thread, but it does.

 

[Black Man Underwear]

Marilyn Monroe would absolutely be shoving vegetables in her ass for a $20 donation

>[2025-12-10 23:48:38 EST] [OwO What's This? (#12322)]*: i was UNIRONICALLY blocked bc i talked about a grimdark future where we make our catgirl and minotaur servants fuck each other in gladiatorial arenas

 

[y a t s]

@Not Xavier Ravenblood, big handsome minotaur man and protagonist with big milky titty sounds like a fun time

my husband will not mind if i read a book about giving minotaurs handjobs

in the future we'll all be too posh and lazy to actually have sex ourselves so when your spouse is like "hm yes let's perform intercourse" you go "what a grand idea" and then you both ring the bell that summons your catgirl / minotaur and then they start fucking and you're like "by jove im sure getting rough with you this time wot wot" and your spouse will be like "oh yes, give it to me harder my beloved"

 

[FrogMinutes]

Theres been 0 school shootings in equestria

 

[Among Us Gaming]

there's no point in understanding computers if you can't understand the people using them.

 

[General Zoider]

If the cock does not fit you must acquit

 

[indomitable snowman]

On this day, the 14th of November, 2025, @Markass the Worst fell for a “Sam Hyde is the shooter” post.

 

[Red flaming panda]

i just want to make it clear that there is no such thing as a Mongolian MILF

 

[neger psykolog]

Computers are made with Kabbalistic arcano technology, which means Jews can control anyone through their Tel Aviv computers.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Early on in this thread, I was told that polka is not effective against Mexicans.

Ain’t no way this motherfucker dusts.

I FUCKING LOVE MODEL TRAINS!

PSA for anyone planning on doing this, if you kill your parents you do not get their inheritance and you also go to jail and don’t get to do drugs anymore either.

the psychiatry pills are pretty nice

TL;DR if you're from Sweden it's on sight.

There are far too many trains that a train autist would be unable to drive because they are extinct, rare, or require a team in order to operate(the ultimate enemy of the autist). Trains can be a lot like waifus.

 

[Sinner's Sandwich]

After engaging with media featuring the most milquetoast and watered down of lesbian experiences, a man longs for what he can never have, nor be - but with years of repression under his belt and a newfound bout of unemployment, the siren call of fetishism is tempting him to bash himself against the rocks of troonacy in hopes of finding his own way to the Isle of Lesbos.

 

[30+GameOvers]

You know, I never really related to Wesker until you realize he's spent over a decade and over billions of dollars to essentially murder his coworkers, and that's extremely relatable.

 

[Sog Dog]

I go up to a 6'9 black guy and I whisper in his ear "autogynephilia", and he guns it to rip the head off of the nearest tranny he can get.