random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Mound Dweller]

This feels like reading English when I was 6 and didn't know English.

 

[Paul Revere Pantry Raider]

I hope I go out in my sleep in the middle of a wet dream personally, but to fetishize the wish that you die ejaculating to the level that you actively plan for your own murder/suicide by arranging it with a dude who has a fetish for decapitation, and then be cool with your killer a/ fully butchering your corpse afterwords, b/ putting your own severed dick in the mouth of your own severed head and THEN c/ making a meal, a succulent Vietnamese meal out of your own meat and organs after the fact is so beyond fucked up it's hard to wrap your head around.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

There’s a Michelin rating system for pussy?

To eulogize Hollywood is the duty of a True American President.

Mexicans firebomb his friend and most importantly:
2% whole milk

Now stop forgetting the image tax

Our group is called TheGoodGuysTM therefore, everyone who opposes us in any way, shape or form must be one of TheBadGuysTM

I didn't do it. Maybe that's why I'm single

Some quality advice from your least favorite janny

Calm down. We are all powerless in this.

Get your test levels checked, please. It's not normal to have test as low as you do

 

[Gentlebastard]

I stumbled upon a 2023 article by a local radio station; it's about Magical Star Buddy's brothel crusade. It doesn't contain anything new, but I'm including it here for completeness.

The case is going full retard speed ahead.

I'm losing my God damn mind. Fucking Retard Russ put part of his book in a filling, the book he's sueing the Farms over, and is now being asked to fully reproduce it for the court. He literally shit all over his own copyright to upload his book to a publicly avaliable place, literal goverment archives, where it will be accessible to anyone for perpetuity. The maddest of lads.

I need to know when the arrests are coming, I have holiday parties I might need to cancel.

It’s okay my fellow prison enjoyer, we’re all meeting in cell block B. I’m bringing the toilet wine but we could do with some more commissary ramen.

There’s a Michelin rating system for pussy?

I'd rather fuck a loaded shotgun with no lube than let that cretin near my computer let alone my data.

 

[Paul Revere Pantry Raider]

Women on the Farms exist?

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

He wanted to be Satanic leader of himself. He's a real devil and he is truly the monster he is.

 

[Dr. Butt]

OH YES ELLIOT, WE'RE SUCH A BUNCH OF EVIL STALKERS
BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA

 

[Xarpho's Return]

From the desk of Luigi Mangione
TO DO​

1. Murder CEO
2. Run away <-- Important!
3. Sand off fingerprints
4. Acquire fake ID
5. Practice responding to new name (I hope it's not Mario lol!!)
6. Move to Wyoming
7. Buy milk, eggs, bread, and some chocolate as a treat
8. Become unassuming farmhand
9. Live out days off grid
10. Deathbed confession?

 

[Dr. Butt]

You were wrong to disseminate this image.

 

[Cnidarian]

I find it hilarious of all the shit people could of used your email for, fart fetish porn, Scientologists, whatever, you get upset over "hey, improve yourself buddy".

 

[dcss]

between you and me, I'm also a virgin but that's because I'm scared of women and fear talking to them.

 

[Dr. Butt]

there have been a disconcerting amount of illustrations of miss piggy getting her holes stuffed

 

[Keystone]

It's ugly, but have you looked outside lately? World is a dumpster fire, filled with AIDS needles and discarded labubus.

 

[Jimmy Dean Bowl]

Niggers are incompatible with life. Send them back. There's no fucking good ones.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

stop being gay and retarded first.

First of all its my American right to be gay and retarded

Secondly, No

 

[Jimmy Dean Bowl]

It's because this shit is just a fart huffing rant in the style of a carbon monoxide vehicular suicide, piping in even older unsubstantiated farts

 

[a kiwifarms user]

The Albuquerque version of skid row is Albuquerque.

 

[Dr. Butt]

"THAT'S JUST LIKE ME!" *stabs self with HRT needle*

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

We shall call him Sir Phobos,Knight of Mars, beater of ass.

I am convinced that with enough time and money Null could start a moonbase.

I cosign everything said here.

My sides, I can't.

He's one of the few white male DEI hires

i was going to DM this, but the forum wouldn't let me

Her face and face parts keep widening and it weirds me out.

You need someone who can cook and get you out of UK

"You just got yourself a big sled load of whoopass, Frost."

Lay off the crack, nigger

I use a gun. Try and disqualify me, faggot. I have a gun and you don't.

 

[Dr. Butt]

(bring back hanging)