random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[FrogMinutes]

Praying you have testicular cancer, bro.

 

[Drip Torch]

I’m a straight woman, I take dick all the time.

Just not as much as you….

 

[vomitusdeux]

When I eat broccoli I pretend I'm a brontosaurus eating leaves from trees :^)

Why does the glowie act like Johnny Bravo?

I saw another furry on Instagram make a list of different types of activists and it included things like “Social media influencer”, “morale booster”, “craftivist”, and “tactical urbanist”.

Remember the kid who shit himself playing Mafia 3?

Let the boy season his chair

It doesn't sound like any poop sounds I know. Something weird is going on but I don't think it sounds like a man shitting himself.

If that’s his gut making that noise it sounds like he chugged a bottle of olive oil.

praxis is a real word

I'm going to throw things that br*tish hold dear into a nearby harbor, I'm starting with jeets

Im 100% sure he's wearing make-up to look "white-passing" considering I've seen pictures of him where he looks like he's just spawned from the egg hatch of Istanbul and he's a massive metro faggot.

Black cooking feels like leaving a toddler alone in the kitchen and them just opening every jar on the pantry and throwing them in a pot without rhyme or reason, then spicing it up with a crayola and play doh in there because why not.

Any idea on the zippertits status of the spouse?

So, we've backslid all the way to fucking deodorant.

Truly the baroque era of nigger cuisine.

Why is my tax money going towards making a pooner in a high unemployment area pregnant?

When you say "when u say" you sound like an absolute fucking drooling nigger retard.

Wypipo don't be seasonin' dey english amirite?

The only thing this comic made me think was "is that hair or a squeaker under the frog's chin?"

He should've listened to Grandpa Faggot.

They got ASMR erotic corn starch eating now. The eye rolling and the moaning made me extremely uncomfortable.

It's just fucking nigger grapes why is everyone having a shit fit

You think he yelled "it's Bubbles time!" In his character's wheezy retard voice while raping her?

I was a wigger at the time.

Just say I gotta crank my hog, no one here has any class

Invite me you niggersaurus or I'll dimote you to 499 teeth

Thanks for summarizing, OP! I saw the "user has raped a baby" community note and simply muted the post.

Chris joining Blusky is more pathetic than him cucking his own father.

"Brother, these are levels of negrosity the human mind has yet to comprehend."

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Maybe, just maybe, if she sells enough pictures of her asshole, her father will love her and she'll be a strong independent woman.

I am thankful for idubbbz, however, because he serves as a gauge to self-reflection, never to be anything like that.

bro it was an accident i accidentally sent my boss' wife furry porn

If I were a 50-something year old man with a knock off Leon Kennedy RE2 haircut getting in online arguments on Christmas on a webforum, I would grab the closest gun next to me and blow my brains out.

You've forced my hand to post a link to my favorite weird website where this guy, who is a fully legitimate scientist, talks about his off the wall hypothesis about mammalian hybrids.

I'm experiencing gender dysphoria because I'm insufficiently jacked. Much like breast enhancements are gender affirming care for cis women, steroids and t are gender affirming care for cis men, therefore not only should I be taking them, the American taxpayer should provide them for me.

Civility is gay. You should verbally abuse people for being wrong and throw shit at their head for being fucking monkeys who can't understand something. It's not my fault these monkeys can't learn to wear shoes. In the words of Ronald Reagan.

It's not gay if the room is dark and no one is wearing NODs. A hole's a hole when you're in a Las Vegas suite paid for by Sig Sauer.

Fine, be wrong then. I'm afraid I'll have to call you a whole lot of slurs now.

There was some "analysis" performed a year or so ago over this thing's nudes to determine if it was photoshopping real labia into photos or if it was a top notch axe wound. No conclusion was reached because we are low-IQ gorilla niggers.

(I just don't want jerk off comics in this anthology, unless you jerk off to gore, in which case, what the fuck nigger?)

How can he sit like that, with his legs crossed so tightly in ladylike fashion, without crushing his balls?
HE'S BALL-LESS!
HE'S A EUNUCH!
WHOA, BUDDY!

Look at it, it's the femboy of artillery. And just like femboys, you're not gay but you can't control it, it just makes you hard.

But the M116 is cute as fuck and I could feasibly fit one in the basement/my living room, for all lawful purposes, up to and including hunting and self defense.

Comedian: "It's great to be here in Arizona. It's hotter than the surface of the sun out here!"
Kiwi Farms: "Uh *pushes up glasses* that's technically impossible since we're a rocky planet, not a star."

 

[Nanashi no kiwi]

It's a lot of context dangling in the air like a broken tubedick at the GRS doctor's office.

 

[CaddestSlown]

Joey might get stalked online but at least he's safe IRL since his stalkers would have to fly to Sweden and survive Somalian rape gangs in Stockholm first.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Look, I’ve been in dozens of knife fights and you don’t know what you’re talking about.

Everyone knows the guy with the fanciest knife wins. The more it resembles a Klingon sword, the better. You clearly lack honor.

Candace Owens won't put on Colonial lingerie and scream "HARDER, MISTER JEFFERSON" while I fuck her until sunrise in a powdered wig. I know it's just because she's a racist who hates White people.

Where exactly does the "right to have sex with people I find attractive" appear in the Constitution or the UN Declaration of Human Rights?

A ton of libs don't understand that through the caste system and 1000 years of breeding Indians can easily be summed up in one sentence:

The Hindu licks the boot when he is low, and stomps down when he is high.

That's it. Every opening interaction is to determine which one you are and then acting accordingly.

I'm performing my periodic check asking if technology has advanced to the point of prompting an app to edit entire Youtube videos to give Jack increasingly negroid features as he grows more disabled (his current output, for example, would land somewhere between the Louis Armstrong and California Raisin stages of impairment).

If not: Being able to edit Scott Steiner entering the frame to point to Jack and yell "He's FAT" is a different benchmark of tech innovation I'm living for.

You sure are giving Dildo Saggins a helluva lot of credit that he doesn't deserve.

 

[The Cheese Aisle]

@Catch The Rainbow said: the only reason why I jewsperg is because the topics related to it are my autistic special interest

 

[MetokurGroomedMe]

Jeffrey please help me here is she is a hooker

 

[Dr. Butt]

Some are named Fatty or Four eyes but he's Jeff "Homo Sapiens" Jones

 

[neger psykolog]

That interpreter is having a fantastic fucking time. Imagine your workday is normally doing interpretation for like, instructional manuals and shit, and then one day an email pops into your inbox and tells you you're going to be paid to very gravely mimic tickling someone's balls on the internet.

 

[Spectate]

That’s not a fetish that’s just having good taste

edit: I am reading more of the thread and it seems I am mistaken.

 

[Clotso Coof]

It's a never-ending cycle that starts with a Pinterest board and ends in internet race war.

Look at how they turned Oxford University Press logo from a cool Latin book into a stylized sphincter

 

[Naproxen Sodium]

Hallo saar, baby need food, he only eats Google Play Gift Cards
Pls do not reedeem

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Enough have that you could do a compilation of them scored to the 1812 Overture.

"here's some good news from this week: we castrated more autists!"

This should get featured but I doubt it will be

That's what you fucking get for driving a fancy German car city slicker.

 

[Miss Violet Beauregarde]

Those were male paedophiles. The episode she missed is clearly Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy.

 

[Dr. Butt]

We are not doing pedo mathematics

 

[米津玄師]

You know what, I don't want to be gay anymore. Roblox Youtubers of all people have ruined it.

I love pussy now.

 

[Mound Dweller]

1. NO EU—ONLY ORTHODOX-SANSKRIT MOON EMPIRE!
2. ALL GLOBALISTS MUST EAT BORSCHT-BIRYANI OR DIE!
3. NATO = NUKES AGAINST THE ORTHODOX!
4. SCHENGEN = SLAVIC HINDU DEATH CAMP!
5. VON DER LEYEN = CLONE OF RASPUTIN’S MISTRESS!
6. MACRON = REINCARNATED TSAR NICHOLAS II!
7. MODI = SERBIAN ORTHODOX SAINT IN TURBAN!
8. ZELENSKY = BOLLYWOOD DANCE PUPPET!
9. FEHLINGER = AUSTRIAN TRAITOR TO MOON SLAVS!
10. DEC = PROPHET OF THE COSMIC CURRY!

 

[Lei Wulong's Left Leg]

I’ve said it before but sticking your dick in her would be like fucking a bag of chicken bones.