random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

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A people known for their poo are also known for half-assing life.

The Great Indian Paradox.

Humble Pie wanted her. But she refused to eat it.

And here I was thinking that autocorrect telling some chick I want to duck her mouth was embarrassing.

I love that bit in the video as he's trying to "walk with confidence" but just looks like a shaved orangutan out for a stroll.

I wish him a long life, may he live in interesting times.
 
Troon trout were something I would not have predicted.

I would position myself at the end of the belt and have them funnel the cheese straight into my gaping maw. I'm salivating at the thought alone.

Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!

Imagine your fucking doorbell stops working because a server thousands of miles away is down. When did we become so retarded as a species?

I wonder how many Funko Pop microplastics I have in my balls at this moment.

So I'm just going to assume Hitler was actually hung like a Clydesdale and had four balls.
 
"Jeffrey please help me here is she is a hooker" is random_text.txt worthy.
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Just another normal Tuesday on The Farms.
Wraslin is the Gen X autist's version of trains, I'm 100% certain
This costume really highlights how "buff" he is, he's got sub-zero muscle on those bones.
Chantal wouldn't know a crackhead if he stuck a broomstick up her ass.
Another man learns a valuable lesson in sexonomics.
I am not a “friendly colleague”.
You're thinking too much like a normal person.
The bitch can't even keep hair follicles with her lifestyle.
Phil's chat is reaching Yankees levels of retired numbers: 220, 999, 1488, 1651, 11009.
 
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