Disaster Florida Man vs Irma Megathread

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http://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/article171291337.html

Florida is about to get raped by the largest hurricane it's ever seen. I have unwaivering faith in Florida man's cockroach like ability to survive against all odds. Godspeed FL kiwis.

Update:

Evacuation orders underway
CWCchange said:
Monroe County (Keys) is under evacuation order. Miami-Dade County is likely to order South Dade and Miami Beach evacuations tomorrow.

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/weather/hurricane/article171343362.html
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Update 2:

The hurricane is so severe it's reading as an earthquake.
Ariel said:
https://www.usatoday.com/story/weat...evices-designed-detect-earthquakes/634419001/
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MalWart said:
FL Kiwi Represent! As shitty as the outcome may possibly be down here, there is a bit of a silver lining:
URzLm8I.png

:story::story::story:
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LITERALLY MURDERING TRANNIES
 
glass_houses said:
You do know that global climate change means that extreme cyclones, tropical storms, hurricanes, super cells etc are going to happen more often? Not to be excessively alarmist, but entire countries could well be forced to abandon large stretches of their seaboards as it's rendered effectively uninhabitable by frequent weather events. Even if each of them is comparatively mild, having to repair infrastructure damage so often will quickly bankrupt even the most prepared of countries. Hell, here in Australia we're staring down the throat of a horrific fire season pretty much everywhere because of a combination of even more fucked up weather than usual combined with massively inadequate funding from multiple governments, and I guarantee you that there are many people who're already on the verge of just upping and leaving after facing multiple burn outs. Even with functional governments who aren't preoccupied with identity politics or flexing their pecs against other, more unstable and hostile countries, repairing the damage could be simply impossible. Answer me this: can Houston be repaired within less than two decades? A hurricane or two following Harvey is going to be the final straw for a fuckton of people, even if those hurricanes are comparatively mild, because Harvey smashed all storm defenses and now those people have nothing to protect them from the full force of one of the most powerful forces on the planet. Not to put too fine a point on it, there's going to be a shake up in the real estate market. Everywhere.

Yes, I know that I just answered a joke post with massive amounts of :autism:. Blame it on caffeine.
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Shit if youre going that far, youve forgotten that sea levels are gonna rise and flood the seaboards of pretty much every country anyway. I mean you could have frequent strong hurricanes on top of that but at this point were pretty much through the looking glass anyway.
 
Going to be praying for all our Florida Man Kiwis, especially @Null because he's the only faggot that can run this place, so we kind of need him alive.

Let's just pray that the intensity of the storm dies down, otherwise it might be a good ol' Scrambles the Death Dealer type of hurricane.

 
Another update:

Gas is basically non-existent, the stations that do have 'em you gotta wait practically an hour or two. Bottled water is just a myth. I-95 is essentially backed up from Jacksonville to West Palm. Folks are starting to freak out a bit.

My parents are in the medical field, so they'll be at a local hospital during it. They asked me to watch their house and pets. But now I'll be roughly fifteen miles away from the ocean, though the surge shouldn't be an issue. I'm officially riding this one solo, my friends. With a fat ass dog and some cats that only care about me when I feed them. I'll die as I lived, alone and masturbating (let's be real, I gotta get my porn fix in before the power goes) in my old bedroom.

Semper Fi, my lovelies.
 
The Kraken said:
Another update:

Gas is basically non-existent, the stations that do have 'em you gotta wait practically an hour or two. Bottled water is just a myth. I-95 is essentially backed up from Jacksonville to West Palm. Folks are starting to freak out a bit.

My parents are in the medical field, so they'll be at a local hospital during it. They asked me to watch their house and pets. But now I'll be roughly fifteen miles away from the ocean, though the surge shouldn't be an issue. I'm officially riding this one solo, my friends. With a fat ass dog and some cats that only care about me when I feed them. I'll die as I lived, alone and masturbating (let's be real, I gotta get my porn fix in before the power goes) in my old bedroom.

Semper Fi, my lovelies.
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Careful Boss! You might have a pet/man-eating Florida Man break into your house! Arm yourself with a dildo to anally scare him off!
 
According to Sebastian Daily, the latest charts and tracking shows that Irma will shift east and impact central Florida, although it's still too early to predict.
Sebastian and Vero Beach residents are reminded to not focus on the exact forecast track, especially at the longer ranges, since the average NHC track errors are about 175 and 225 statute miles at days 4 and 5, respectively.

Hurricane Irma is likely to remain in a light shear, warm water, environment for the next 3 to 4 days. However, the intensity guidance continues to show slow weakening during this time, and this part of the intensity forecast is little changed from the previous advisory, with Irma remaining a strong hurricane during this time.
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IMG_2783.jpg IMG_2784.jpg IMG_2786.jpg
DICKPICSRUS said:
If it does take this path and hits Virginia then its

Irma vs sonichu
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There's a good chance south Virginia'll get its share, given the updated path via TWC:
IMG_2785.jpg
(Not A-Logging, but I'm just stating facts.)
 
^Optimistically speaking, if we dodge another bullet and it stays offshore along the coast of South Florida, it'll be Matthew 2: Electric Boogaloo. I'm a man of Murphy's Law, but the forecasts are indeed shifting further east, closer to what was first predicted.
 
Still haven't gotten the horse to shelter. Family friend is suddenly being very flakey about us taking it up to her. We got nonperishable food stashed in my closet though, and gassed up the truck while there was still gas to get.

Whatever happens, we will endure.

(Also our neighbors across the street have hurricane shutters and a generator and we're incredibly jealous.

...they're getting looted first.)
 
Pina Colada said:
According to Sebastian Daily, the latest charts and tracking shows that Irma will shift east and impact central Florida, although it's still too early to predict.

View attachment 275930 View attachment 275931 View attachment 275933

There's a good chance south Virginia'll get its share, given the updated path via TWC:
View attachment 275932
(Not A-Logging, but I'm just stating facts.)
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I think South Virginia can barely get it's share. It would be a tropical storm soon after SC's landfall and the whole size itself can vary.
 
All the shelters in my area are schools which were rebuilt under twenty-something years ago, and when I attended them while fairly new, there were already falling apart. They make the New Orleans Superdome look like a presidential bomb shelter. Basically, they're for people who still choose to live in a trailer and/or can't fend for themselves (old farts, Shaniquas and Maria Josés with a litter of kids, etc.).
 
I've got a full tank of gas and plenty of bottled water. And liquor.
Stay safe, fellow Florida Kiwis, and I hope your power doesn't go out for very long.
 
The path keeps shifting back and forth, and most of South Florida is at a fifty percent chance of hurricane force winds. It's literally like flipping a coin.
 
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