Disaster Florida Man vs Irma Megathread

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http://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/article171291337.html

Florida is about to get raped by the largest hurricane it's ever seen. I have unwaivering faith in Florida man's cockroach like ability to survive against all odds. Godspeed FL kiwis.

Update:

Evacuation orders underway
CWCchange said:
Monroe County (Keys) is under evacuation order. Miami-Dade County is likely to order South Dade and Miami Beach evacuations tomorrow.

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/weather/hurricane/article171343362.html
Click to expand...

Update 2:

The hurricane is so severe it's reading as an earthquake.
Ariel said:
https://www.usatoday.com/story/weat...evices-designed-detect-earthquakes/634419001/
Click to expand...
 
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Two and a half days later, we get our power and internet back. The storm here turned the area into a series of small islands.

My entire backyard:
upload_2017-9-12_19-52-10.png

upload_2017-9-12_19-53-34.png

All in all, we did well compared to the rest of the area. We took in a few families that lost their houses to flooding. And their kids bitched that we didn't serve them good food. We cooked spaghetti over a grill. Best we had since said kids ate all our snacks. Wow.
 
God: 0, Hypodermic: 9

Power's still out here and we only just got data back about 3 hours ago. Lost water for a day; got it back but it's still under a boil advisory. Lot of downed branches, flooding in the pasture and barn, some shingles ripped off, and fallen trees from the next door neighbor are currently leaning on our power lines. It stinks to high heaven inside and outside and the annoying neighbors across the way have a generator we want to sabotage while the crazy cultist neighbors are shooting again. Also had some F-0 mini-nados blow over the house and it was fucking loud enough it kept me from sleeping.

All in all, an average Florida hurricane.

Also if my grandmother doesn't turn off fucking 96.5 I'm gonna smash the goddamn radio I swear to god I told her to stop wasting the batteries when they aren't even covering our county's recovery.
 
As the storm ends, there are alot of conflicting reports to how bad the Keys got hit. The governor said they may need to evac 10'000 people but people flying the choppers overhead said it didn't look that bad. Cnn saying the Keys are completely destroyed while other sites are saying they got hit bad but not as destructive as it could have been or has been. Also there has been the case people hyping up the stormsurge that never came. It was only barely 5 feet as opposed to the 20 feet we got in jersey during Sandy. I'm starting to believe Irma got caught up in the post Harvey hype and people went ballistic from what seems like an average Florida hurricane. I don't forsee the damage on the mainland being anywhere near as bad as Harvey was in Texas.

This also gave me an interesting read: http://www.nj.com/opinion/index.ssf/2017/09/hurricane_irma_forecasters_should_get_the_hell_off.html
 
A little late to the party, but I figured I'd give an update on how Irma decided to fuck my area's shit up.

Amazingly, we never had any long-term power outtages. The most we got were a couple of brief flickers, and each lasted only a few seconds. The workplace of one of my family members wasn't as lucky, he was just told that it would be about a week until power is restored there.

Our neighborhood is swampy as shit right now, the branches have fallen like Bill Nye's credibility and vehicles are covered in mud and leaves.

Despite all that, everything else in my area is fine AFAIK.
 
Power updates, aka "fuck FPL, fuck our neighbors, fuck everyone on this gay earth."

Power came back on as I was charging my phone in our truck. Unfortunately, FPL, in their infinite wisdom, did not make sure the tree debris people had come through first so that pine tree.that was still leaning on our power lines? Yeah, that just now nearly caught on fucking fire.

FPL's solution? Just turn the power back off.

Not that it matters, because even if the tree hadn't been an issue, our jackass neighbors across the street who have been running their generators nonstop for about 3+ days hooked directly into the transformer and have now blown not just one but two of them.

AND IF THAT WERE NOT BAD ENOUGH, mom calls the fire department about the smoldering tree. Now, we have pastureland that's become overgrown over several years, so our house is set back at the end of a long driveway behind a bunch of various trees and "jungle" flora as we affectionately dubbed it. When they showed up, they seemed surprised to find out there was a house here/people living here, then proceeded to tell us "yeah if your house catches fire, you're on your own/we can't do anything because we won't be able to get in" and just left it at that.

Fuck me, I need to move.

Sorry for double posting, but:

The dumbshits turned the power back on, the tree is smoldering once again, and the fire department said "don't call us again until the tree actually catches fire and it spreads to the underlying brush".

FPL refuses to answer calls, claiming "high call volume".
 
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Hypodermic Johnny said:
Sorry for double posting, but:

The dumbshits turned the power back on, the tree is smoldering once again, and the fire department said "don't call us again until the tree actually catches fire and it spreads to the underlying brush".

FPL refuses to answer calls, claiming "high call volume".
Click to expand...

Can you get a refund for your taxes that went to the fire department?
 
My house is fine, no flooding or damage, but also no power. Aunt checked on it on her way to Myrtle Beach.

Neighborhood is a fucking mess of tree bits though.

Fuck FPL.
 
Shugo said:
Can you get a refund for your taxes that went to the fire department?
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If that worked I'm sure every crackpot SovCit would have filed a claim for all the governmental things they don't like paying for.

Also the tree has literally caught fire at this point.

Seriously, fuck FPL.

5DcJ2cU.jpg
 
Hypodermic Johnny said:
If that worked I'm sure every crackpot SovCit would have filed a claim for all the governmental things they don't like paying for.

Also the tree has literally caught fire at this point.

Seriously, fuck FPL.

5DcJ2cU.jpg
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Oh come on that's like what, one branch on fire? Did you even notice that branch existed before today?
 
XYZpdq said:
Oh come on that's like what, one branch on fire? Did you even notice that branch existed before today?
Click to expand...

It'd probably be a lot more impressive in the dark (there were actually multiple branches on fire and that was the only one I could get a good shot of), not to mention,the photos don't capture the very loud electrical sizzling sound.
 
I've been sick so I haven't been able to get out and see the damage around me, but from what I hear in GA quite a few people lost power at various points and lots of trees came down. Supposedly Irma wasn't as strong as Opal was when it blew through GA in 95(?) but it's still caused some fuckery. Then again GA isn't as prepared for Hurricanes as FL is since we don't get them as often.
 
I got news! They were stuck in their friends home with no electricity for a long time but one of my fam is ill. Bad luck I guess.They are wondering if even canadian can go to the hospital and get help for her because our gouvernment isn't doing anything for them. They're afraid of high cost ( their used to health care ).

If we can forget that, at least they are alive and well.
 
The Hulkster makes some comments that will surely come back to bite him the time WWE considers rekindling a relationship with Hulkamania:

http://www.pwmania.com/hulk-hogan-calls-hurricane-irma-victims-without-water-and-power-crybabies

Hulk Hogan fired off some tweets about victims of Hurricane Irma on Thursday, after he braved the storm from his Clearwater, Florida., residence.

He referred to those who lost their power and water supplies as “crybabies” who could have had it much worse.

“No water, no power, crybabies, everyone’s complaining…” he wrote.

“…these people have no clue how bad it could be, Praying for those that got hit hard, lost homes, lives, businesses, lost everything.”

No water,no power,crybabies,everyone's complaining,these people have no clue how bad it could be,Praying for those that got hit hard,lost

— Hulk Hogan (@HulkHogan) September 14, 2017



Homes,lives,businesses,lost everything,thank you God for helping those with divine highly blessings,God speed only love HH

— Hulk Hogan (@HulkHogan) September 14, 2017



In a response to a tweet of support, Hogan called some of the victims “spoiled” and lamented them for complaining when things could’ve been worse.

Hulk Hogan @HulkHogan

Replying to @cholland2324
we're good but some spoiled people don't have a clue,they need a K Owens head butt my brother HH
5:42 AM · Sep 14, 2017
 
PS1gamenwatch said:
The Hulkster makes some comments that will surely come back to bite him the time WWE considers rekindling a relationship with Hulkamania:

http://www.pwmania.com/hulk-hogan-calls-hurricane-irma-victims-without-water-and-power-crybabies

Hulk Hogan fired off some tweets about victims of Hurricane Irma on Thursday, after he braved the storm from his Clearwater, Florida., residence.

He referred to those who lost their power and water supplies as “crybabies” who could have had it much worse.

“No water, no power, crybabies, everyone’s complaining…” he wrote.

“…these people have no clue how bad it could be, Praying for those that got hit hard, lost homes, lives, businesses, lost everything.”

No water,no power,crybabies,everyone's complaining,these people have no clue how bad it could be,Praying for those that got hit hard,lost

— Hulk Hogan (@HulkHogan) September 14, 2017



Homes,lives,businesses,lost everything,thank you God for helping those with divine highly blessings,God speed only love HH

— Hulk Hogan (@HulkHogan) September 14, 2017



In a response to a tweet of support, Hogan called some of the victims “spoiled” and lamented them for complaining when things could’ve been worse.

Hulk Hogan @HulkHogan

Replying to @cholland2324
we're good but some spoiled people don't have a clue,they need a K Owens head butt my brother HH
5:42 AM · Sep 14, 2017
Click to expand...
He's right. Florida Man Hogan telling the jabronie marks how it really is.
 
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