Disaster Florida Man vs Irma Megathread

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http://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/article171291337.html

Florida is about to get raped by the largest hurricane it's ever seen. I have unwaivering faith in Florida man's cockroach like ability to survive against all odds. Godspeed FL kiwis.

Update:

Evacuation orders underway
CWCchange said:
Monroe County (Keys) is under evacuation order. Miami-Dade County is likely to order South Dade and Miami Beach evacuations tomorrow.

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/weather/hurricane/article171343362.html
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Update 2:

The hurricane is so severe it's reading as an earthquake.
Ariel said:
https://www.usatoday.com/story/weat...evices-designed-detect-earthquakes/634419001/
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Super Smash Bros. Fan said:
I think this is going to turn out worse than Hurricane Harvey. For one, it is going to be hitting other nations and Puerto Rico which are much poorer than the USA. Secondly, while Hurricane Harvey peaked at Category 4, Irma is already at Category 5 which is capable of more damage and even when it declines, a Category 4 storm still has capacity for a devastating storm.
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The Caribbean gets raped by hurricanes every year and nobody cares (unless on vacation).
 
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entropyseekswork said:
This just in, Trump is ordering the hurricanes so minority populations will be exterminated:

View attachment 275050
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Ha! I love it. :D Be interesting to see how long it takes until she gives up under the weight of SJW stupidity and attempts to explain the concept of satire and the weather to people who are already convinced that the world magically revolves for their sake and theirs alone.
 
CWCchange said:
The Caribbean gets raped by hurricanes every year and nobody cares (unless on vacation).
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That is true and for that reason, I do not expect as much coverage as Harvey if Irma does not cause as much damage in Florida.
 
averagejane said:
Another florida kiwi here.
been in a few hurricanes before, i knew it was only a matter of time before we got hit with a nasty one.

florida was just asking for it.
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That's what you get for being America's wang and electing George Bush Jr.

Seriously though stay safe.
 
Florida seems doomed already. They never antacipated a major hurricane in about a decade, which lead to a population boom of snowbirds and housing bubblers. You guys aren't wrong about it ending in a disaster.
 
Shit's getting serious in the islands. Barbuda got hit a few hours back and all contact with the island has been lost.
 
Bit of an update for the fam:

Gas stations are out of fuel, most stores seem to be out of water bottles, and, the ones that do have some, the lines are wrapped all the way to the back of the store. Some schools and universities have canceled class, but it looks like most of 'em are gonna wait till the last second, as usual, to cancel classes so those who wanna evacuate can ('cuz fuck students amirite). My campus is eerily quiet this morning, was able to actually get a parking spot on time, and can tell that people are already leaving.

It's actually funny as fuck being able to tell who is a seasoned Florida Man and who is a rookie. Go to a store and see who is loading up on the essentials, and who is loading up on beer and booze. I'm not too worried. Ain't my first rodeo. Live in a very sturdy location, and most of the old trees have already been knocked over by previous storms. Tons of drainage, so flooding isn't an issue. Worst case is that I'll be outta power for a bit, honestly. Despite all the stereotypes and lovely stories you hear about us, Floridians are generally well-prepped for a storm. I'mma ride this one out, see how it goes. Will provide pictures of any substantial damage I may see. If I die, I want a KF funeral in the highest honor.

Have my tombstone engraved "Newfag ate shit."
 
The Kraken said:
Bit of an update for the fam:

Gas stations are out of fuel, most stores seem to be out of water bottles, and, the ones that do have some, the lines are wrapped all the way to the back of the store. Some schools and universities have canceled class, but it looks like most of 'em are gonna wait till the last second, as usual, to cancel classes so those who wanna evacuate can ('cuz fuck students amirite). My campus is eerily quiet this morning, was able to actually get a parking spot on time, and can tell that people are already leaving.

It's actually funny as fuck being able to tell who is a seasoned Florida Man and who is a rookie. Go to a store and see who is loading up on the essentials, and who is loading up on beer and booze. I'm not too worried. Ain't my first rodeo. Live in a very sturdy location, and most of the old trees have already been knocked over by previous storms. Tons of drainage, so flooding isn't an issue. Worst case is that I'll be outta power for a bit, honestly. Despite all the stereotypes and lovely stories you hear about us, Floridians are generally well-prepped for a storm. I'mma ride this one out, see how it goes. Will provide pictures of any substantial damage I may see. If I die, I want a KF funeral in the highest honor.

Have my tombstone engraved "Newfag ate shit."
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Yeah I'm in a similar situation.
I'm freezing ziplock bags of water in case power goes out to use as icebox fodder, gonna hit some stores for random shit this afternoon, probably gonna try to get with my weed man in the next day or so.
Might steal one of the water cooler jugs from work.
But really if it ends up a bigger deal than that will cover it's beyond my ability and budget to affect change on so whatevs.
 
My folks and I could fly up north for about a week, but we don't really have the time, considering we just moved here 3 weeks back. If push comes to shove, there's a Marriott about 7 minutes away from us. All my thoughts and prayers go to our Florida, Carribean, and Texas Kiwis, along with everybody else.

Should we die, we're taking Disney World and Sea World down with us.
 
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