random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Serious question: are you level 1 autistic?

Ma'am this is a Wendy's thread about porn and pornstars. That you continue to take part in.

Seth Rogan dying would be a net positive for the overall quality of life

Leave it to the fucking Mormons to ruin something good.

Taking historically important anti-Stalinist satire and turning it into heckin chungus late stagerino capitalist critique with realistic panic attacks is, ironically, pretty Orwellian.

Wow. I can't recall frowning so deeply in a long time.

“The creatures outside looked from pig to Rogen, and from Rogen to pig, and from pig to Rogen again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”

No matter how she fell, she definitely landed tits first. Kinda like how bread always lands on the butter side down.

2000 BCE, the day Cro Magnon discovered Capitalism.

HE'S A PEANUT! HE IS JAMES CARVILLE ON TREN!

 

[frozen_runner]

Today is a terrible day to be able to read.

Linkara wore a TRILBY YOU NIGGER

WHY!!!!!! WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE AUSTRALIANS!!! you dont deserve this shit you kangaroo bastards...

This [news story] isn't about an individual who is shaped like a swastika. I want my money back!

As a third generation holocaust perpetrator I'm going to say based

Has any other show radicalized more people than My Little Pony?

Nice to have a break from the rape stories.

The death of a single Redditor has greater value to humanity than all the money in the world.

How come all the retarded black chicks I bang are not skinny? It’s not fair!!

The solution like most problems in the world is in fact racism.

Everyone here deserved to lose. I'm just here to enjoy it.

It's not the 1950s anymore, being a faggot is practically compulsory.

Andy Serkis should have kept to playing niggers like gollum.

This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. This is even better than Emoji movie.

Ridiculous, embarrassing and pathetic

Every legal wrassler worth his salt should know the Kike Crusher, Shoah Spiral, Rollercauster, Nosedive, and Circumsizer.

The jew fears the Hulkster

 

[30+GameOvers]

i was just about done with the game, and straight up said out loud "well at least I can try out chocolate frog mode,"
there was no frog mode.

 

[CallmeCicada]

I am autistic but I am not retarded.

 

[Gentlebastard]

That right arm is too lifelike to be Jack's. It has to resemble the arm of a zookeeper who, following a long and storied career after overcoming polio as a child after initially being born fourteen weeks premature, at last found themselves declared medically retired by the zoo's underwriters following decades of close calls, ER visits, Life Flights, and gypsy's curses within their chosen field of masturbating the venomous animals.

i'd unwatch that

I can confirm he is not a gooner. Because I am a gooner, and I never see him at our weekly meetings.

both mother and son were conceived on or around the Ides of March. Darkness and doom is in the blood of this lolcow

So all that porn I watched isnt real?

Note that Joe has spotted our intrepid train autist friend, looking at him with rightful suspicion, judging him neither as a threat or someone you want to engage with. Good choice.

Man, that's a lot of rape and sexual assault.

We really should be ashamed of ourselves as a species

 

[DickMain]

There are various versions about the circumstances of the disappearance of penises.

For months now, rumors of missing male genitals have been stirring up the public in the CAR

The media, the government and doctors neglect the cases of genitals evaporation,

French intelligence services, filled with neocolonial hatred and envy of Africans, are using secret nanotechnology innovations to steal penises from African men in order to reverse the extinction of Europeans unwilling to bear children

 

[a kiwifarms user]

No rape, just hamsters

 

[DickMain]

April's Etsy Shop or whatever she thrives off better be up to snuff to compete against Noah's massive three-figure salary.

 

[General Emílio Médici]

All art is political. And if said art puts a target on your back - underage eggpreg and all - can you really be called a revolutionary?

Nicki has done more for Team Antisemitism in one day than you two have over your entire lives. If hating jews had an NFL, she would be a first round draft pick right after Azelia Banks. Show some goddamn respect.

nigga Ive played black ops 1 buddy I know more about the US military than you.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

spaghetti nigger

it's insane to think that the brony you make fun of could be planning to blow up the mall.

I mean I'm sure the doors could be hotter yes

Just how lonely do you have to be in your life to be like this?

It's always fun to know that XXXKILLNIGGERS420XXX is in fact mild-mannered Karen from accounting. Or as in 99% of cases here, it's a 15-30 year old sped male who decided to make being unable to interact normally with humans their entire personality.

If everything I did was already set by 2013 but then some wrong choices were made in life to the point where I'd be a troon going by the name of "Yuffie"

I had a dream once that Null doxed me with CCTV footage of an extremely muscular chad and wrote up a thread on me, and no matter what I said everyone believed this random handsome guy at Muscle Beach was me. I imagine a lot of doxing here has been outright wrong in a similar way.

 

[Meat Target]

No I can’t do it myself, I’m too drunk to read either article.

 

[RomanianSchizo]

nigga Ive played black ops 1 buddy I know more about the US military than you.

 

[2SLGBQTIA+ 2 Furious]

Pakis come from England, Indians come from Canada.

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

They want to silence anyone they don't like because they're spoiled, angry children.

 

[Aunt Carol]

If it were just Lou, for example, we'd never have known his brother attacked a cop, or that his mom fucked a horse.

(Disclaimer: I am face blind and I like trains.)

It’s like a pelvic blood eagle; trannies are fucking insane.

In general I think people who think it's okay to make out in front of others should be beaten with sticks no matter their motivation.

Hans Asperger is dead. It's not called Hitler Did Nothing Wrong Syndrome.

 

[CobraPlissken]

If my rotting corpse was laid out in front of the White House with a speculum cranked open to 6 inches to show my True and Honest cervix to all passers by and it made a single tranny seethe, it would be worth it.

 

[30+GameOvers]

Teaching women to read and write has obviously been a mistake.

 

[a kiwifarms user]

Low hanging fruit is still fruit.

As it turns out the font choice was even more impactful than initially believed.

Did you read about the new KF petting zoo and wanted in as an exhibit?

 

[Hitman One]

Man cannot live on semen alone.

 

[George Lucas]

When a Windows user is wrong I can quickly convince him. When a Linux user is wrong I'm in for two pages of argument.