random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Big Nasty]

explicitly Black Metal inspired dwarfs

 

[Pedophobe]

even an ss13 player can get pussy (does not matter if he paid for it)

I really hope the Internet stops breaking it's containment and seeping into the real world.

The great part is, you can't even tell if that's a joke or not.

 

[S.C.U.D.]

I eliminated 85% of microplastics from my ejaculate.

 

[Norman B. Normal]

(source)

 

[The Stranger]

I want to project a biker-style aura of terror and fear

 

[JackingOffGeorgeLucas]

How could they jerk off to cartoons without dicks?

a rambling troon talks about everything ranging from his slur-slingin' grandfather to a former music teacher who molested female classmates to his desire to be fucked by numerous people at once while also wanting to run for president while living in extreme poverty.

my grandfather always called me a fagot and talked about niggers.

(source: from aforementioned "rambling troon" post)

 

[Solid Snek]

It seems kiwi form has decided that Bluesky is perfectly fine to come and chatting with hack with us do not engage

 

[Coo Coo Bird]

I can't believe that Philadelphia's own Pistachio Girl managed to meme Triumph of The Will Stancil into eternal Grok rape.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Maybe the movie Gay Niggers From Outer Space was on to something.

I can feel the power of the Balkans coming from this post.

You regularly talk to women about their peeing habits?

A jeet's diet of palm oil and random spices would probably make him extremely unpalatable. It'd be gutter oil-infused long pork.
I'd rather eat an American if I had to, at least he'd taste like a McDonalds breakfast menu item. Mildly flatulence-provoking, but otherwise non-lethal.

The most Post-Burgerpunk thing I've ever seen:

R*dditor's DoorDash order of "Dubai Cocoa Pistachio Pie Cakes" and "Skittles Original Drink Bottle" and other literal goyfeed is held ransom by belligerent deliverer wanting a higher tip, citing "This is America "

 

[Aunt Carol]

Many, many, many people try their best to try to conceptualize a way to try to palatably explain why they are awkward.

Reach out any time by sending her 150 dollars to get her phone service reconnected and then text her on the number below

I had no regrets until I clicked "girl cum."

To my eternal disappointment it doesn't smell the slightest like ice cream, just normal body wash.

Rowntree was not a secret liberal MK Ultra experiment to test out proto-wokism, he was just Canadian.

"able bodied" doesn't mean "of sound mind" or "not retarded".

Stay for the end when Jack cross-contaminates his own face.

 

[JackingOffGeorgeLucas]

I've never in my long and storied life seen a wedge-shaped dick irl.
On the Farms I've seen two. Truly a magical place, our little corner of the interwebs.

 

[Uh Oh Stinky]

Looks like the sultan's best groomed eunuch. That's why it's so great that he shits in sinks.

Bro, bullying retards on the internet is free real estate. You could almost say A BUNCH of people think it is both entertaining, and a wholesome hobby.

I honestly don’t think the transgender flag has ever been ironed since it’s been invented

Actually WP stands for Wizard Pooner, fash scum!

YOU were caught saying the N word as a fully grown ADULT sped, whilst impersonating Michael Jackson for the purposes of grooming teenagers. That is far fucking worse LOL

I would even like to point out that while we were theorizing about regular boring wafflestomping, this bitch straight up twerked her ass on a sink corner with a washcloth. never stop believing, gorls!

How can you have such a dope flat top and be such a goober. Shit's blowing my mind.

So... it's ableism to not want to be exposed to this idiot's naked cooch?
Got it.

Most gorlworld experiences can be summed up with
"I want to believe " and then getting something just as or almost as ridiculous lol

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Knowing your EBTs ain't the same as knowing your ABCs.

 

[JackingOffGeorgeLucas]

"Hey, don't use that brand. It's a conservative brand."

"What?"

"Yeah, their CEO supported an anti-LGBT bill and said 'RIP Charlie' on their Twitter after his death."

"Oh, that's bad."

 

[Aunt Carol]

get fucked.

https://www.seriouseats.com/how-to-get-crispier-chicken-turkey-poultry-skin-with-baking-powder

So have we just completely lost our societal stigma against being a tryhard?

Pancreatitis arc when

 

[a kiwifarms user]

Stop ear donor shaming damnit

 

[Shakira Flabbergasted]

You can name your dog "Mr. Piss Fluffles", and it won't get bullied by the other pups down at the dog park.

 

[Doxmatix]

He's mad they turned the Colonel into a WHORE.

I've never been threatened with donate or I'll drink coffee before.

nigga probably gave me a Dumb sticker while pissing in a pepsi bottle

Putting this thread in the Beauty Parlour was a mistake.

A boneless sofa after a boneless marriage.

The Thomas the Tank Engine fandom does not fuck around. I don't know about you, but I do not want to end up on their shitlist.

I wanted to say that I think his BF6 gameplay could be used by a doctor to diagnose some sort of early onset dementia.

The thing you are missing is that the girls side of Kiwifarms and the boys side are very different

Truck Sim therapy sessions are a detractor.

We're all humans here, and humans have survived thus long by ostracizing and a-logging the strange and unlovable

This is the result of fat women and Chat GPT.

 

[Hamstirer]

is 5k rubles cheap. Use some common food as unit of measurement if possible.
Something like: "DAAAAMNNN THIS HOE'S TITS ARE DEFINITELY WORTH 50 APPLES"

 

[Aunt Carol]

Vegetables are in the sauce, and the vitamins are in the Crunchies- all the vitamins and minerals you need.

Cocoa Crunchies have the vitamins.

Damn, I watch his videos too. Am I brain damaged?

If someone's fucking their dog there's nothing for me to learn from that.

Look, I'm not even on your side, but don't let him punk you! He's a mormon! And a Fate fan!
Bring up his weird invincible underwear or how his anime is Kingdom Hearts meets Gacha-shit drivel!
Stand up for yourself!

How fucked up in the brain do you need to be to want to become not only a woman, but Smurfette specifically.