🪦 Deceased Hard Rock Nick / Nicholas Rock Johannsen / Aly Ashley Jash / Big Dick Nick

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I wish I had kept the dossier goons compiled on him. It was amazing and it's a shame he got so much negative attention because he's really locked down his content now.

He worked at a Benz dealership and always took pics in the cars like he owned them. Every day he'd post some awful meal on the same blue plate and talk about his personal chef. He had like, 2 pickup lines. One was something about eating sushi in bed in LA and giving a girl the best fucking of her life and the other was basically the same but it was lobster tails in bed on the Greek coast.

He'd do that Russ thing where he'd take selfies in the gym. Never broke a a sweat and always skipped leg day.

Oh yeah! The name "hard rock nick" was from when he wanted people to believe he was part owner of the Hard Rock cafe, he'd post pictures of himself eating there a bunch and always talk about how he was part owner.
 
Schizophrenia and amateur marketing. Name a more iconic duo.

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I'll wait.
 
So, real talk, this guy internet harassed me for a hot second. He found my instagram and started messaging me like crazy, I was barely legal at the time, so this was before he was mildly internet famous. He told me he owned the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. I sent him a screenshot of their wikipedia page where no one by the name of Nicholas Johanssen was mentioned. I told him he was a flat out lie and he just persisted, even when I ignored or blocked him, he would make new accounts to message me. I couldn't believe this fucking dude who looked like a egg shaped genie faggot with these insane youtube vids talking about his huge cock was at my beck and call, so all of my friends would have me message him to see what insane shit he would say next. He claimed he lived in Calabasas and all sorts of crazy lies, similar, but not identical to the posts mentioned here. Which lol of course he fucks up his own bull lol

Anyway, I stopped playing around with him when I cut my hair. He was so mad. He sent me message upon message berating me for changing my hair, calling me ugly and all this shit. I went ghost. He still messages me about once or so a year on different accounts, just saying stuff like "hello" and nothing else. When I saw him go mildly viral and found out he took a shit in Jeff Goldblum's ex's sink I about pissed myself. Last I heard (2020 maybe) he was a bag boy at Trader Joes.
 
Josef Mengele said:
Notice how he always says his "18 year old girl friend in high school" but never shows her. I think he equates having barely appetizing food with being wealthy and having 18 year old girlfriends with being popular. He is the literal definition of a human dumpster fire.
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She's totally real, she just goes to another school, you wouldn't know her.
mpeg12 said:
This guy looks like the person to buy another phone and tell his parents he has a girlfriend
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She goes to another school goddamn it.
Daughter of Cernunnos said:
When he says he "likes to eat his pussy from the back" does that mean he likes rimming girls?
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It means he's a closeted homosexual.
Cancerous_Female said:
I know he sucks, but I genuinely feel kind of bad for him. He's so... mental. Psyche ward and antipsychotics would really help him out.
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So would rope.

Ahh Aly. I haven't seen this faggot since I used to lurk SA after I got banned.
Something else isn't he?
I'm surprised this thread isn't longer, tbh.
 
I mean there is 0 chance that he is totally straight. He is deeper in the closet than folded clothes that don't fit no more and I am somewhat shocked there are no leaks off of grindr or similiar platforms of his looking for bears or thugs to breed him.

To be honest, all this time I thought this is just a gay guy doing a self aware comedy bit as an absurd flexer persona, weren't it for the divorce/sink shitting and creeping on minors.
 
the_watcher said:
I mean there is 0 chance that he is totally straight. He is deeper in the closet than folded clothes that don't fit no more and I am somewhat shocked there are no leaks off of grindr or similiar platforms of his looking for bears or thugs to breed him.

To be honest, all this time I thought this is just a gay guy doing a self aware comedy bit as an absurd flexer persona, weren't it for the divorce/sink shitting and creeping on minors.
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I think it might be another Amos Yee type situation, like Nick is definitely a troll but he also believes his own bullshit, the same way Amos Yee was definitely a troll but was also really a pedophile.
 
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