random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Mound Dweller]

A balance of power between Fuentes and BAP over who gets more homoerotic influence over the youth would be kino.

 

[stares at error messages]

You know culture has run its course when they've ran out of new names for places and have to keep reusing old ones.

 

[neger psykolog]

Thank you Nathen for taking down KiwiFarms for good this time

 

[Speedrunner]

btw that 'combat' was NOT fun, i was hitting coomers with a bat and when i lost a fight i was immediately put into a sex position

 

[Raging Capybara]

In plane English, commit sudoku you freak

 

[Chongqing]

You may want context but I'm not giving you any.

Also, why do you stalk my COMMENTS on Facebook? Why do you care SO much about me and my life? ARE you my mother that I cut out? Why do you think nobody is going to save me, bitch? Why do you THINK I need someone to save me, HOE?

 

[Gentlebastard]

Hoisted by their own retard.

what the actual fuck I'm angry now I'm MatI the poor English language has suffered enough

So she's a kissless virgin and is gutted about not having some super special awesome experience for her first time with some hookup on Grindr?

this is crazy but I know you’re the one for me, move in and let’s be GAYBROS together?

This thread is full of straight men pretending to be lesbians because they think it will get them pussy, and then fucking other straight men pretending to be lesbians. In comparison, pretending to be gay is a cinch and has a much better chance of snagging them actual pussy, albeit dry, leathery and personality-disordered. Sure, most men have some standards, but for the ones who don't, there really is no bottom.

Kiwi Farms is about the only place left where you can state the unstatable.

This man literally has the gigachad jawline. He could cut diamonds with that. Real dainty and ladylike.

Jesus, that looks like someone photoshopped a construction worker's head onto a small breasted upper middle class housewife's body.

"Actually jeets ARE smelly and a public nuisance."

That bit right there where he drinks that raw pork blood? That's how you get brain worms.

He'll be fine, the worms don't have anything to eat anyways.

 

[Tablet County]

He's such a shitty writer he wrote a story where he's an absolute retard and an asshole who tried to steal a cat and got scratched up.

 

[PhoBingas]

Wait! You're telling me that was a guy's dick i was sucking this whole time!?

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

Null on his stream today:

I cannot believe the Commonwealth of Kentucky fucking BBC posting towards me. Okay.

 

[Wright]

Usually I blame trombonista for everything.

naru thread

DAMN that was a greasy one. yup. im pregant

messages

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I AM THE FUCK TORNADO WIZARD OF COMPUTERS

Sure, I might not now understand things like "AI" and "Social Media" and "Being a good poster" and "Showering" or "Being inside a woman", but I knew things. Things you kids will never grasp. While you are posting your Meta verse avatar talking about how bigotry is bad or something, I was using Phreaking to call ATT reps niggers nonstop while slamming my dick as hard as possible to Jethro Tull's Thick as a Brick.

JESUS CHRIST. I DONT KNOW WHATS WORSE THE CONVERSATION WHEN THE TROLLS ARE OUT OR WHEN YOU FAGGOTS ARE FREE TO TALK ABOUT FUCKING 1980S COMPUTERS111

nigga, I don't read, I just post.

MATH IS THE ONLY OBJECTIVE TRUTH IN THE WORLD
TROONS WILL NOT DEFILE IT

I’m so fucking old I used an abacus to play the gayest form of colossal cave adventure with Methuselah while he was a teenager, having to warm up my wood balls with a velociraptor powered pulley system and our internet was old time pigeons and those Jewish golem robots delivering shit posts written on stone tablets.

>be azn
>finally marry a rich white man like your FOTB parents wanted
>he troons out
grandparent cry

"Are you now or have you ever been a Sino-Korean hybrid?"

Let us continue the Dragonball discussion now. Krillin is a much better father than Goku and there is no way that Chichi hasn't cheated on him during the multiple times he died.

you’re complaining about ad hominem attacks in the thunder dome? Pussy.

I disregard the opinions of fags who limit their profile.

Ah shit they're discussing whether or not to eat the placenta
Okay I'm crashing out, this is too gross.

HE WANTS TO FUCK DOGS
HE'S A FURRY
HE'S GAY

 

[<3 norafawn]

modern anime girls were engineered together by Japanese people and Jewish people to entice and arouse basically everyone on earth

 

[Sooty Soot]

FUCK,man, this sex offender registry law is bullshit

 

[Uh Oh Stinky]

I think you could feasibly change the title of this thread to 'teaching people not to click every spoiler they see', and it'd still be very accurate.

Gotta go look at TubGirl and Goatse to cleanse my mind.

It's my own fault for logging on here while eating breakfast. Cocoa puffs were a bad choice.

It was a normal parental lecture, except the dad delivering it happened to be wearing a black Lycra bodysuit and a gently wagging tail.

He looks like irl Mario if he liked the other kind of mushrooms.

I really regret not feeding his speech into the jordan peterson voice machine when I had the opportunity

I can't believe the Australian legal system was defeated by a 5''4' garden gnome

This thread is disgusting in a really unique way.

. Which isn't automatically a bad thing, just I mean that in the sense of "they watched a walkthrough and are now three kinks deep into getting horny about the source material."

NOW That's What I Call Autism, Volume I

Nothing brings as much joy to my heart as reading a written description of the most watery parts of the Bristol stool chart.

I just want to see a rotund, dainty muslimah lady mop vomit from a carpet - is that too much to ask in this day and age?

 

[30+GameOvers]

TL;DR Hassan is never going to succeed at genociding the Jews if he keeps beating his dog.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I have chronic non-Hodgkins racism.

(no troon is trying to blend in with the crowd, they're trying to rape the crowd, loudly)

Candace Cameron has been married to the same Russian hockey player for 30 years. She has a podcast and is an influencer for women of a certain demographic.

My dying wish would be a mid tier garfield shaped pizza too.

If your kitten updates have too few other posts inbetween then it's the fault of the other retards for not posting enough cats.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

YOU FAGGOT. I AM GOING TO KILL YOU.

Please don't take offense, I'm only stringing words together based on patterns that have proven successful over time.

 

[Ratboy Genius]

Chimpanzees are vicious little bastards, but Orangutans are proper lads at the end of the day.

 

[Stan]

I wrote my entire BA about this, and how gender norms and stereotypes are harmful. I like being called a man, the same way a boat is a girl.