random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Super Mario Brothers]

my ghost haunts terrible writers and causes them to commit suicide.

 

[Jhonson the Two]

I can't believe the final villain of the series has the same name as the baby kangaroo from Winnie the Pooh.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Last but not least fuck chimpanzees they are the niggers of the great ape family.

thats a lot of words to say everything is gay and retarded

Did North Korea just implement a variant of penis inspection day?

 

[The Cheese Aisle]

13% of posters are responsible for 53% of slap fights…

 

[SCV]

This is like the setup for "Children of Dune", except with autism.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

To be fair, wars have started and empires fell from strong men chasing big titties.

The only socialist breast implant is a kulak skull.

No nork foid's rack will rival the supreme reader's.

 

[GunCar Gary]

I think about Goatse a lot.

 

[a kiwifarms user]

I fed the roaches that infest my apartment with my vomit

the author didn’t violently masturbate to every page. It was every third page

 

[Suikafag]

NULL immediately volunteers for the cheese entries.

Finally, we can focus more on Jesus. If God wanted us to reach the stars, he would have put them closer.

 

[invisibult plus+]

based manchester police executing jews.

 

[Demetrius]

I am sorry to inform you but I have never posted bizarre fetish pictures of the bottom of my feet and I do not have a WikiFeet account and that I do not post about vtuber feet. I'm not sure where this confusion arose but I'm happy to clarify.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Note how Irish Peasant Face is still more attractive than British Aristocrat Face.

Never in my life have I heard of someone getting upset when a scammer blocks THEM. This dude is seriously ripe for another catfishing.

Her profile seems real, she's your average white trash single mom with caterpillar eyelashes squeezing her gunt into XXL clothes from Fashion Hoe-va.

Our mothers did this to us, example: sweetie, you really want that doll. Go batt your big blue eyes at daddy, say please. If he says no, bring out the tears. Or just give him your puppy dog eyes and your biggest pouty face.

I recognized pretty early on in my marriage I was using this manipulative tactic with my husband and have worked hard to reprogram myself. Luckily I have raised my girls to instead write a paper and present a debate, with facts, on why they should have/do something when we’ve already said no.

I refuse to be part of the sadcryingwomanocracy

Nigger don't hate on my hyperbole.

It is like he thinks he got hauled in by actual Nazi Communists and is about to be murdered.

No, it will be much worse. Months of court dates, meetings with probation officers, maybe a brief lockup but probably community service and a fine and a mark on his record. Those months of court dates are awful. He'll wish he got the bullet.

We should deport fatty to a weight loss camp

Racist slurs really went down hill when the Leftards pushed to make it socially unacceptable to be openly racist. It's like an unused muscle that atrophies.

I'm not saying I support police brutality, I certainly don't, but I'd completely understand in this and other cases like it.

I remember my mom back in 2015 had the most unfortunate thing to ever happen to her ever, getting a business trip to india

“I never got the contract because I chose to be a dramatic retard.”

We are going to prison because...

*checks notes*

...we laugh at an obese retard online?

Oh my God! Patrick installed the fence backward to put the rest of the world on the inside, in prison.

 

[Meat Target]

I'm upset you tagged this as 'Science'.

 

[Tommy John Surgery]

See, this is why everyone who takes gay porn seriously needs to learn how to program, to automate this kind of thing.

 

[Tablet County]

Popeye's is basically the Waffle House for daywalker niggers.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

Noted rape and murder enthusiast

The gooner demographic has been lost. It's OVER

 

[Big Nasty]

He moved in with some faggot retards in California, as where we live is not remotely tolerant of people who shit themselves in public.

Jesus for like the millionth fucking time, CLEAN YOUR ROOM AND WASH YOUR PENIS everyone. It's the bare minimum.

arrested while shitting

lesbianese riot grrl tradwife.

 

[CaddestSlown]

I am not gay just because all my posts involve some form of aggressive, hostile man-on-man sodomy.

 

[unaboomer]

"Help! I didn't know I was retarded!"

 

[moocow]

What if you are walking through your house and your cat runs under your foot, causing you to trip and fall into the kitchen? While falling down, you knock down a bottle of cooking wine that crashes on the floor and you step on the glass? That makes alcohol enter directly into your bloodstream and, while dancing to get away from the shards of glass, you accidentally strike your toaster currently making toast? The toaster suffers a rare, catastrophic failure causing a spring to shoot out, through your window, and strike a woman dead who was walking her dog?