Opinion Survival Tips For Life In The Authoritarian Slow-Cooker

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Survival Tips For Life In The Authoritarian Slow-Cooker​

“Hypodermics on the shore, China’s under martial law / Rock and roller, cola wars—I can’t take it anymore.”
Billy Joel belted that out in 1989 as a rapid-fire history lesson, a catalog of chaos. Back then it was background noise on the radio. Today, it sounds like prophecy. The Cold War is gone, but the chaos machine is still here—just with new headlines: Epstein files, ICE raids, $200 million ballrooms, tariffs, coups dressed up as patriotism—same breathless drumbeat, only now it’s 24/7 and weaponized.

Joel sang it like history marching past. We live it like breaking news that never stops breaking.

Remember the Trump White House greatest hits? Trump’s scandals, Epstein files, watchdogs axed, $200 million ballrooms, fraud in New York, border raids, tariffs, coups dressed up as patriotism—same breathless drumbeat, only now it’s 24/7 and weaponized.”

A never-ending carousel of grifts and gaffes, with Trump riding the golden horse and the rest of us puking in the parking lot. That chaos wasn’t a bug—it was the feature.

And the hits keep coming. We watch comedians like Jimmy Kimmel or Stephen Colbert suddenly targeted, late-night satire framed as national threat. We see businesses fold under Trump’s shadow, CEOs trembling at the thought of offending the cult. We see conservatives quietly buying up media conglomerates, piece by piece, until the evening news sounds more like party propaganda.

And we’re shocked. Again and again. But maybe that’s the point. Authoritarianism doesn’t arrive in jackboots overnight. It creeps in small bites—one outrage, one cancellation, one law bent, one institution gutted. Shock is their smokescreen. Or as Joel might’ve sung it today: “Fox News, book bans, billionaires with blood on their hands.”

Macro Fire, Micro Embers

It’s not just the big stuff. Macro chaos trickles down into micro chaos. Inflation chewing paychecks, school shootings on replay, jobs on pause, families barely keeping the lights on. Billionaires play rocket man, pastors buy new jets—same old verse, different remix.

This is the point of the chaos machine—it keeps you too busy fighting daily fires to notice the whole damn forest is ash.
It feels like our lives could be sung verse by verse: “Inflation high, wages flat, billionaire buys another yacht.” The song never ends—it just keeps remixing.

So what do we do? Collapse into despair? Rage-tweet until our thumbs bleed? No. We endure. We adapt. We get savvy. Because if we’re going to survive the authoritarian slow-cooker, we need survival tips.

Six Tips for Staying Sane (and Maybe Even Resisting)

1. Learn to Spot the Gaslight

Every strongman swears he’s doing it for your good. “Protecting freedoms” by banning books. “Defending democracy” by undermining elections. The con is simple: make you doubt your own eyes. Survival begins by refusing to buy the lie. Say it plainly: this is not freedom—it’s control.

2. Budget Your Outrage

Everything is not DEFCON 1, no matter what your Twitter feed says. Burn yourself out screaming at every headline, and you’ll be useless when the real fight comes. Outrage is like money: budget it. Spend it wisely. Ask:
Does this deserve my energy, or is this just smoke meant to distract me from the fire?
Joel’s song never tried to explain everything—it just kept listing. That’s a survival lesson: you can’t fight all the battles at once. You name them, you place them, but you pick where to dig in.

3. Treat Media Literacy Like PPE

We live in the golden age of disinformation. Conspiracies outpace facts. Algorithms feed us outrage like junk food. And as conservatives buy up media empires, spin becomes policy. Your best armor isn’t a gun—it’s critical thinking. Fact-check. Question sources. Refuse to forward your uncle’s Facebook chain rant. Media literacy is the new survival skill.

Or as Billy might put it: “TikTok, deepfake, news you know is probably fake.”

4. Remember: Community Is Resistance

Authoritarianism thrives on isolation. Alone, you’re easier to control. Together, you’re harder to silence. So build connections. Join community groups, grassroots networks, faith circles that haven’t sold their souls to Christian nationalism. Laugh together. Rage together. Mourn together. Resistance isn’t just marching in the streets—it’s refusing to live life alone.

5. Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

The empire wants you tired. It wants you anxious. It wants you too numb to notice. Rest is rebellion. Joy is resistance. Take a walk. Read a book. Laugh at a stupid meme. Refuse to give them your mental health. Staying sane is part of the long game.

It may sound trivial, but even Joel knew survival sometimes comes down to naming the absurd and moving forward. The world keeps burning, the verses keep stacking, but you still breathe.

6. Mock the Strongman

Bullies hate to be laughed at. Authoritarians crave power and fear ridicule. So meme the grift. Joke about the hypocrisy. Drag their sacred cows into absurdity. Humor doesn’t topple empires on its own, but it pokes holes in their aura of invincibility. Snark is a weapon—use it.

The Long Burn

We’re stuck in the chaos of living and the chaos of life. The rich keep stacking their chips while the rest of us juggle bills and broken systems. Fascists shout about “saving freedom” while shredding the Constitution in broad daylight.

But here’s the truth: survival doesn’t mean ignoring the fire. It means learning how to live in the middle of it without losing yourself. It means choosing your battles, protecting your sanity, and finding ways to keep joy and justice alive—even in small acts.

Because the flames aren’t going out anytime soon. But neither are we. And as long as we can laugh, connect, and keep our outrage aimed where it counts, there’s still hope.

Not a kumbaya, hand-holding kind of hope. A gritty, sarcastic, tired-but-still-standing kind of hope. The kind of hope that knows survival isn’t passive—it’s defiant.

Billy Joel had it right: we didn’t start the fire. But unlike him, we don’t get to fade out. We have to keep singing—new scandals, same song, still burning—because the arsonists are still holding the matches.
 
All this bullshit about media literacy, what the fuck is it with the left and their obsession with media literacy??? The more I see it the more I genuinely don't get it.
It's a magic word that allows them to completely ignore or preempt news that goes against their lefty religious belief. No no constantly screaming that trump should be shot is not violent speech, you lack media literacy, righty child. Enjoy prison
 
Their favorite example to tout is Starship Troopers the movie, with right wingers ignoring the movie's criticisms of fascism and intentionally interpreting it as a positive example of a fascist society. Leftists claim this makes right wingers stupid retards that can't tell when they're being mocked, but apparently Paul Verhoeven intentionally misinterpreting the original book by Robert Heinlein, which *is* unambiguously favorable of a fascist society, in order to mock it with his movie is *not* an example of media illiteracy.

Starship Troopers was non-ironically a Poe's law situation. Its both a celebration of fascism and a critique of it at the same time. As was often the case with Verhoeven, he was being too clever for his own good and created a film so ambiguous that its open to whatever interpretation the viewer wants to bring to it.

As well, he created a logically consistent fictional world that ran unchallenged by its ideas. He was in a way saying that if this is what you like, this is what it will look like. That isn't quite mockery. Its something else entirely and the particular danger of it is that a fascist when confronted with it can say "Wow. Thats great."
 
Pork Butt
2 baseball sized onions (Cut in half)
1 can of Coke or Dr Pepper
2 bay leaf
1 tsp of ground pepper
1/2 tsp salt
Favorite BBQ sauce
Buns

Put the butt in fat side up
Put in the salt, pepper, onions, and bay leaves
Pour the Coke over the pork butt

Put on low heat, go to work
When you get home, remove the bone from the pork butt and shred pork
Add in just a little bit of the broth as needed to keep pork moist while you are shredding (this will take a little bit of time)
When done shredding, add in BBQ sauce to desired sauciness
Put on buns and enjoy
I'm gonna cook this once I get a new job. I assume it's a slow cooker recipe.
 
Pork Butt
2 baseball sized onions (Cut in half)
1 can of Coke or Dr Pepper
2 bay leaf
1 tsp of ground pepper
1/2 tsp salt
Favorite BBQ sauce
Buns

Put the butt in fat side up
Put in the salt, pepper, onions, and bay leaves
Pour the Coke over the pork butt

Put on low heat, go to work
When you get home, remove the bone from the pork butt and shred pork
Add in just a little bit of the broth as needed to keep pork moist while you are shredding (this will take a little bit of time)
When done shredding, add in BBQ sauce to desired sauciness
Put on buns and enjoy
I'm going to make this at one point. That sounds really good.
 
I think I would have hated the author just from his picture, never mind before I waded through that gibberish.
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I'm gonna cook this once I get a new job. I assume it's a slow cooker recipe.
Yes, slow cooker. Put it all together, put it on low, go to work, and 8 hours later it's done.

One additional point. When you're shredding the pork, toss the onions and bay leaves. They've given their all to the cause.
 
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Proper media literacy means you can consistently decompose media into archetypes, themes, motifs, history (the origins of an art style, symbol, etc), technologies, group-coding, etc.

And we have been living in a totalitarian, "mangerialistic" system. It doesn't give a shit about a population's survival because we're all considered fungible cogs. It prefers phony nonsense like civic identities and atominzation of people so we're easy to control and can't self-organize a rebellion. It makes pointing out uncomfortable facts like inherent group difference a taboo. Eugenics is a taboo, but dysgenics is not. Anyways if the system as uncle Ted put it doesn't get dismantled, then we're all doomed. Eventually all the lights will go off because the competent populations have went below critical mass. You're lucky if we can even get cottage industries going on shit like semiconductors and silicon refinement.
thats a lot of words to say everything is gay and retarded
 
Fags and troons are not technically wrong that keeping them in check is "genocide", since they cannot reproduce without a steady stream of other people's children to be their catamites.
That's sorta why they're technically wrong.

Genocide is an attempt to snuff out an ethnic group (religion is in there as a proxy for some ethnic groups, like jews or sikhs). Troons are not an ethnicity. They do not reproduce through (actual, not homo) family relationships.

By definition they cannot be genocided any more than World of Warcraft players can be genocided. They're not "a people".
 
All this bullshit about media literacy, what the fuck is it with the left and their obsession with media literacy??? The more I see it the more I genuinely don't get it.
Jean Baudrillard. Hyperreality. Simulacra and Simulation.

Both the Left and the Right have been shoved out of the arena of the real and into the realm of the purely symbolic. Media literacy is just how politics are done when those politics refer to entirely fictitious things, hence their obsession with it.

The Deep State has everyone debating over a simulation to keep them from interfering with whatever the national security establishment's preferred version of reality is.
 
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