random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Imagine what the five bugmen that take turns fucking this thing look like.

"HULLO I'M HERE TO SHIFT YOUR ASS," he says in his most dainty lady-like voice.

It's the face you see right before your ass gets forcibly trooned out.

"do you worst!" No need. God has already accomplished that task.

This thread shows me that the Game Show Community is as wide as a Wheel of Fortune table and as deep as Jeopardy's range of question categories.

 

[Space Police]

She cheated because Cobra thought it was gay to have anal sex with his girlfriend.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

I can't imagine what it's like to have multiple autistic NEETs obsess over you 24/7, I've only got one so far.

 

[frozen_runner]

all memes are real

I'm gonna name my son Climate Change and make him an arsonist

God damnit! Now where am I supposed to go when I want to smear shit and blood all over the walls?

What the hell why would you post this

 

[The Spoils of War]

He has lost the pilot

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

I already had unlimited bacon when I fucked your mom.

 

[oldTireWater]

Coffee helps you focus on things other than sharia laws

 

[revenge of rebecca]

From http://dreadytofatroptsdj6io7l3xptbet6onoyno2yv7jicoxknyazubrad.onion/post/f9028c83c314f4d851dc

Quoted at https://kiwifarmsaaf4t2h7gc3dfc5ojh...or-the-kiwi-farms.33217/page-37#post-20254351

You must understand that when dealing with a person with severe mental illness they can be unpredictable and make bad choices. I am severely mentally ill, I am unpredictable, and I make bad choices.

 

[CallmeCicada]

your tyranny is over.

deal with it.

 

[neger psykolog]

https://embed.kiwifarms.st/threads/...wich-witness-x-potatosec.197757/post-20327984

 

[Gentlebastard]

Korean men are like crack to women who are into pretty boys

good people just lie down and die in their 50s-70s, so that they don’t inconvenience everybody else

She looks like a WWII anti-japanese propaganda poster.

That's just a typical fat dude in the US and probably wouldn't even register as unusual if I saw him in public. I was looking forward to a real horror show.

I have to ask, what is someone called who is neither right nor left handed because he is shit with both?

"Thus have you woven your own doom, foul one. Know this: your thread is cut, and no more shall you walk free beneath the skies. Prison awaits, as sure as the coming of night. Let your fate be a lesson, for your choices have led you to this end."

15th century sailors haven't encountered pork as salty as Piggy is here, goddamn.

You can give a Brit Michelin Stars, but he'll always be a Brit.

 

[Crex Crex]

Personally, it would be an honour to have him bang my mom.

God was the first to troll him.

Does that mean injecting diarrhea medicine directly into your cerebrospinal fluid would be a cheap, legal high?

 

[Dr. Butt]

If you undress and get into this obviously cursed outdoor bathtub you are accepting that something is going to happen to you. Is it bad? Probably!

Its over.

 

[JustSomeDong]

Don't let your memes be dreams kids

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

This dude deserves to be pissed. I'd be downright angry if I paid good money for all you can eat tacos and did not, in fact, get all I could eat.

 

[Doxmatix]

*Slurp*
Tee hee
*dies*

He might have the boobs but no way does he have the balls to wear it again.

It's YOU. You're the demon!

Odds the cheap Chinese seatbelt could hold her mass still in the event of a 50 mph collision? Same as the odds Salah is paying their rent from his perfume empire profits.

"My beautiful queen, will you please do the chores while I go check on my business as the President of Business Man at Business. Then later I will eat you for dessert."

Omfg why did I spend today doing real life things?!

Agree, but it should be 'dinners for two' because a gentleman never dines alone, he brings a woman of ill repute along with him

They make a lot of the instant noodles imported to the uk it seems, they are ok tbf, and it's cool that they basically live in a big crater.
However, they kept invading me in Crusader Kings II, because they are papist dogs.

 

[WonderWino]

I’ll never look at Lysol the same again. Fleshlight of the cleaning aisle.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Not the autism I was hoping for.

 

[Axiom.]

you all harass me nonstop and expect me to just be nice and sit there with a smile while i take in all of your verbal manslaughter??? how about FUCK OFF, NO

 

[Asian tech support]

The night before while all are still asleep, Tesla robots driving around in cybertrucks will replace all nearby street signs with new ones that say something like "designated scheisser" under the name. It's scheissernacht!