random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Toji Suzuhara]

Sadly, being born a woman is an incurable condition.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

Begging you guys to stop posting weird fetish subreddits here. I come here to laugh at redditors not hear about their sick gooning fantasies about black cock and incest.

 

[Slideshow Bill]

I'm not saying that I'd have sex with a mantis, as a human being. I'm not attracted to bugs. But if I were a male praying mantis, with a beckoning female in front of me? And I were wearing a metal helmet? I may be down to clown.

I don't want to have sex with bugs.

Nothing worse then working the late shift at a corner store and having a crack whore try and pay you with sweaty titty bills.

Then he went home, cried for three hours, and threw the quesadilla at the wall.

all the paedophillia is totally a crime of circumstance too. how were those men meant to know they'd run into so many sexy kids there!

 

[Aunt Carol]

Fuck Foucault. Can't just rape young Tunisian boys, gotta write gobs of the most boring and dense academic garble to justify it.

 

[Dire Dire Cocks]

"Kiwifarms is wack and all the people who go there are wack."

"Kiwifarms has an entire thread on him now, if you don't mind visiting a hive of scum and villainy."

 

[Autistic Asparagus]

. May he be blessed with 72 virgin hamsters.

 

[Hitman One]

Nintendo, you stupid fucking squid eating, hyphen eyed fucking niggers

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

She's probably just braindead and assumes everyone else is a NEET like herself and thus up at fucking midnight to start watching a damned video she's spent weeks cobbling together instead of actually having a job, and thus her massive fanbase and everyone else in all of weeb-dom will sit through her slop that manages to be as long as the entire fucking LOTR trilogy directors cut.

Please move on, your cats are hungry.

 

[Hyper Vigilant Dumbass]

I don’t know if I agree with the premise that sharing information and enjoying watching stupid people do stupid things is immoral.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I really don't care if she is retarded or not.

The only book-based costume thing for Sherlock is a rolled up sleeve, for heroin.

 

[stupid frog]

I was thinking back on what I said and I think PPPastor would be hilarious arc. I was just imagining him during the service passing out the collections tray.
"WE'RE GONNA READ PSALMS UNTIL WE GET 100 DOLLARS IN TITHES."
"Mrs. Johnson for 20 DOLLARS?" and Altar Boy Andy going YOOOOOO *clapclap*
PPP in the middle of a sermon and Andy standing next to him going Ashton, A-Ashton, Ashton, Ashton, b-but Ashton.
A baby starts crying mid service, and PPP whips out a triangle and starts screeching "RETARD ALERT RETARD ALERT"

All in all I think it would be actually more funny than Kino Casino currently is.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

It turns out life is not professional wrestling.

source: video in this post

 

[Maniacal Foreigner]

There needs to be rules about this. There have to be pumps, and the dudes have to nut, otherwise it doesn't count. I don't want half-assing whores devaluing gangbangs.

 

[Pedophobe]

Schizophrenia, regret, and anime.

The last bulwark against retards is, apparently, more retards.

No idea why a post about a heavily autistic social media addict and failed father (with bitch tits) wound up on the Elon Musk thread.

 

[Oliver Onions]

No stalker left unchilded, every civilian condescended to.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

you could not have made a more broad and unhelpful statement

 

[Oilspill Battery]

<tt>[12:50] <gogono> I never planned to go to Spain anyway, JB porn is illegal there.</tt>

Wtf is JB porn?

I saw it on my screen and it was the first time I've been so bewildered by a random.txt I had to jump in the thread to ask.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

Wtf is JB porn?

I saw it on my screen and it was the first time I've been so bewildered by a random.txt I had to jump in the thread to ask.

Jailbait, basically underage girls who at first glance look of age

 

[I Do Not Post]

User status: Mega Raped

 

[Sawamura Simp]

Below are the local archives provided by GenociderSyo and Scorpion From MK.

Sweet Baby Inc days are counted, Mark Zuckerberg have just removed the tampons from the mens bathrooms!

Faggotry used to be a binary concept, but now with the era of quantum computing we've finally researched the technology of a quantum faggot.

FIRST RECRUIT TO GET 100 KILLS WITH THE PREDATOR DRONE GETS A FREE CAMARO!

Gta 5 may offer archeologists more value than an entire political system.

Spoiler: Bonus

One of these days I'm going to kick the pope in the dick.