random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[pooterino]

I know this is incredibly late and gay and I hope it's already been posted but I just came across it and have to submit it:

I have it on good authority that everyone on this site is a nigger.

 

[Black Man Underwear]

I know this is incredibly late and gay and I hope it's already been posted but I just came across it and have to submit it:

OP is confused

Hey, OP, what is it like to be dyslexic?

I don't get this thread.

 

[Fake Steve Franssen]

I hate this fucking faggot. Null is correct that he is a corrupter and traitor. I hate him specifically because he is somehow the slipperiest spic in the country.

 

[Drip Torch]

I'm also a virgin

We didn't necessarily think you weren't.

 

[Radiator Grilled Cheese]

It totally rules just to murder people if you don't like their political opinions. There's no point in just talking. You have to murder them.

 

[Elf Supremacist]

The moral of the story? Never get between a Reddit moderator and free OnlyFans photos of a 40-something-year-old with saggy tits and a pancake ass.

 

[CaddestSlown]

It's fucking over they're going to make us goon to death. Time for everybody to jork it.

Damn, that's crazy, but you're still brown.

What’s with all the bronies around here lately? Are you guys so low on the totem pole that troons are the last thing you can punch down on?

"Feminine towel witchcraft secrets" is the most autistic and retarded thing I have heard anyone say.

CUT MY DICK INTO PIECES
THIS IS MY LAST RESORT
DILATATION
NO BREATHING
DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF I CUT MY BALLS, BLEEDING

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

"The one that sounds like someone groaning while eating corn on the cob?"
"Yeah, except really loud, and we kept getting it every fifteen minutes."

 

[Crex Crex]

Ancient zen riddle: If a cuck falls in the snow, and there's no one to yell nigger-faggot, does he make a Twitch stream?

Why did Xi Jinping need Joshua Caleb Sutter's help collecting bats? Does the PLA not have a bat collecting capability?

The Jerkops, the Jews, the Muslims, the Nazis, YouTubers, Artists, Voiceactors, and the probably Clyde Cash are all working together to turn Sonees and Rosees into Nazi pedoforks all on the orders of the Walton family and Xi Jinping.

stop being gay and retarded first.

"its so wholesome that her parents made her expose herself as soon as she turned 18 "
nigger what

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

glass shart through their throats

Bullying cures everything. There's nothing a well-aimed slur can't do.

She must have been hungry after her long day of breaking sofas.

Majestic great white shark cleans the ocean of undesirable corpses, garbage, and weak elderly sea lions. This fat bitch just makes old jews agree with Hitler

You ARE the onion smell, gorl.

You don't enjoy summer Florida sunshine. It hates you and this guy is clearly killing himself in some sort of Aztec shame ritual.

Really brings them so much joy. (Baby remains indifferent)

Bekah should avoid wearing such a pale color like that in the future because it makes her look like a bowl of grits, which - while delicious - do not a suitable outfit make

Click the button, refresh the page, and the average IQ goes back up 10 points.

i can tell it's stolen cause you couldn't afford to be caught with a few extra pixels in your pockets
this shit is unreadable

Don't you dare besmirch my glorious nipponese games like that. They were folded over a thousand times by a samurai blacksmith

now hear me out. we play into this, we make the wall a safe space for Poz Play, even have distribution stations for lube and potato starch along the length of it. not only will the continual presence of happy buttfuckings deter intruders, but if we can get a good HIV+ coating all over the members of the wall then it'll deter climbers. maybe set up some UV lights at night to show off the stains, it'll be like a camo print.

This kid is the definition of someone named Peyton

Sometimes this is on purpose, but usually it's a tard loop.

And stop eating farts

#sigmagrindset #alsomybikechainbrokecanyoupushmehome

Age 11 is around the time when i started to realize some kids aren't behaving weirdly because they are weirdos, they behave weirdly because they are fucking turkish.

time and again, Vtubers are overshadowed and outplayed by talking snacks

If you watch a pedophilic apparition play Elden ring or whatever for more than an hour a week, I think the most honorable thing would be too kill yourself

Unless people are trying to say that he's a peanut IRL then I don't know what to tell you.

Unfortunately dysgenic retards and misanthropes make for surprisingly good engineers, or maybe crash test dummies and lord knows they aren’t getting female interaction through autocad

I swear people are knowingly making downies these days just to have a big housepet that can outlive them

what is it about this legume that makes it intrinsically humorous?

This article just complete fucking nonsense. And not just regular nonsense but advanced nonsense

Rather large van when all you need is anti schizophrenia pills to make the anime girls disappear

Turns out the only good thing about working with the public is it turns you into some kind of conversational Navy SEAL

WW2 is the big bang for SJW there was nothing in the universe and then hitler appear and invaded Poland.

My tard offspring are gonna lick your windows and there is nothing you can do to stop them.

Theres an entire secret society of hidden skeleton men

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

The only logical conclusion is that they must hate the disabled.

Kvetch is an interesting verb to use

lol
lmao even

Okay, buddy boy, what other insights can you provide to us?

In Trumps America even the raccoons are smoking fent

We have room in our heart to hate more than one group.

"Mein Führer, the Goon bunker has been breached... It's over".

There are several layers of fetishes involved, a lot of them stemming from homosexuality.

The Most Embarrassing Thing This VTuber Owns.

How could Jitler do this?

50% of Jesbian couples.

Few people in the west are familiar with the manga. The movie is the finale of a manga they know little about, not the famous anime. That is what I am saying. The movie does not even have to do with the anime.

The best way to eat potato is the tater tot.

 

[Gentlebastard]

He could pass as almost normal if he engaged in even basic grooming. He looks like he never showers or showers in grease.

I get such a tonal whiplash I start weezing like an asthmatic anaphylatic mongoloid who realized a bit too late he couldn't tell the difference between a sack of MMs and a sack of live African bees.

Calling someone a “stalker” and then issuing an open “follow me” is such irony. Perfect output for a 1.2 GPA

"You're a loser. I've been given the cliff notes on your silly ass. You're a fraud. And not a very good one at that. So stand down powder puff."

he has nothing real to be proud of aside from the sins he’s spent his life perpetrating against food and other people

The wages of sin is people find out you're a willing business partner to Russell Greer, apparently.

Why this retard still insists on larping as a conservative when he bitches about a tranny not being pro tranny enough? It's honestly baffling.

if you have a lot of tranny friends, I advise a lock on your door, and perhaps a salt ring for good measure

Personally, I love when kids say the darndest things, so I hope she continues bullying OP relentlessly with her aggressive understanding of reality.

Bonus points to the wife for the reversal of the "If I don't troon out i'll kill myself" strategy, I bet he was bummed he couldn't use that card himself.

 

[a kiwifarms user]

I cannot think of a scenario in which torching a Dairy Queen contributes to any political outcome.

 

[MerelyAPlateOfSpaghetti]

I mean I can get behind eating the ass or something like that

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

If a tree is trying to interfere with your internet activity is that alogging or normal logging?

 

[Uncle Buck]

...the dildo of consequence rarely arrives lubed...

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

The poop knife is probably less involved, but nobody must ever know.

become some sort of shit baron of public bathrooms; storing a giant turd all week to unleash to an unsuspecting public.

inshallah she will die with $72 in her bank account

Ah yes, the cradle of capitalism!
Big booty bitches!

the conversation i want to have is what was your previous username and why were you banned?

Cut social security and Reddit will normalize in no time because all these faggots will have to work

You people have it backwards, the answer is not to remove their platform from the internet but to take the spare time away from these pathetic lowlifes.

In Trevor Moore's song "What about mouthwash" he sings about being pulled over by the cops while drinking mouthwash, and the cops not knowing what to do because they are literally staring down a void. I'm imagining the narcos staring down Ralph and being bewildered. "Is bad luck to kill this haza"

TL;DR if you're from Sweden it's on sight.

drumph took our fucking tendies...

I honest to god forgot to mock the North Korean Detention Center they built in Disney World

"No stalker child, being a sex worker does not mean I'm a whore. Enjoy watching me getting blacked, stalker."

Magician Bear (a bear who is a magician) takes a break from lifting only to discover Santa is more popular than him, so it's voodoo time.

Imagine burning all that time and money on a PhD just to teach twelve year olds.

I always thought Captain Planet was for queers but the animation is cool.

Makes me wanna invest in more nuclear energy just as a middle finger to the Blackrock fuck that funded that show.

And to add a twinge of shit on my vomit cake, now people think I believe in sun recharging magic rocks who can cure your ass cancer.
I'm not happy.

The thread is titled "Post Videos of People Dying." What the hell did you expect to see, a neo-Nazi handing people flowers and singing hippie songs from the 60's?

Small update: they’re making effigies of Geoff Keighley now.

(I'm not sure if this is Europeans, Americans idolizing Europe, or Indians pretending to be European--possibly a mixture of all three).

 

[Aunt Carol]

For someone who claims that she can only understand short sentences, she is remarkably eloquent.

You lazy fucks will do anything to make a genocide happen except actually kill trannies. I'm disappointed.

That 'man' has a vagina and is wearing a choker meant to highlight his female neck and wears perfume that are geared towards women. It's the most obvious hetslop bait there is.

Said it before, said it again, only room for one fat clown in the polycule.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

Some people are saying they don't like watching a woman cry, but watching a tomato-faced pig in a blanket cry is absolutely hilarious. Where's your precious roach now?

Discord truly is a gift and a curse.

No it's a curse and it's a curse for faggots.

 

[a kiwifarms user]

nearly conquered Rome but did he own the libs? I didn't think so