Job Hunting Tips and Tricks. - Or how to not get stuck as a retail wagie

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If you want to go the certification route, make sure it is shit that HR is aware of. How will you know what those are? Simple - the big well known certifications. Imagine a 25 year old thot with hair going down to her lower back, permanent duckface due to the lip fillers she has, and a permatan. What types of certifications would she be aware of? Chances are your future rests in her hands, which is a scary thought but it’s true! How many of those boxes can you tick off? We all know what is big in our respective industries. I can tell you those Coursera, Udemy, etc. certifications are a waste of time. But something like a PMP? That thot recruiter knows what that is. Anything she does not understand is a waste of your time.
 
Just gonna rant how companies put NON-WORK positions on LinkedIn! I was just contacted by someone for what looks like a nice part-time fully remote position; the catch? It's one of those "apps" that pays you in "crypto" after you submit some content. It's not even a fucking job! Yet the niggers there listed it as a "Professional" position on LinkedIn, and it shows as an actual job, and the bitch remakes the positions every week so that it looks fresh and "2 days old". I reported it but I know nothing is gonna happen; nothing ever happens. I also encountered a scam university degree from Uganda at one point that expected you to pay $300 for a "course" on linkedin jobs (it was listed as guaranteed internship), and after 1 month it's still there.

Nevermind that recruiters actively ignore you if you're active on linkedin or have the "looking for a job" tag; it looks desperate and needy.
 
Artaius said:
Tips for everyone out there struggling:

1. Be a nigger.
2. Be a woman.
3. Be an Indian.
4. Be a Mexican.

If you aren't any of these, consider trooning out.
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Sometimes you can get LUCKY lucky, so just keep fishing.

Had an Irish white as snow colleague at my prevous work that managed to get an animation masters degree into a finance position working from home, all they expected was literal excel skills and in two months he was making more than we were working the graveyard shift.
 
My IT career of ten years was forcibly ended today. Naturally my Indian employer decided to do it on a Christian holiday. Hopefully I don't find myself in this thread again by the end of next year with no progress made, but if I learn anything useful I'll post it here. What I've read has been amusing and possibly helpful.
 
Froppy said:
My IT career of ten years was forcibly ended today. Naturally my Indian employer decided to do it on a Christian holiday. Hopefully I don't find myself in this thread again by the end of next year with no progress made, but if I learn anything useful I'll post it here. What I've read has been amusing and possibly helpful.
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you'll never stop wanting to genocide hindus
 
Froppy said:
My IT career of ten years was forcibly ended today. Naturally my Indian employer decided to do it on a Christian holiday. Hopefully I don't find myself in this thread again by the end of next year with no progress made, but if I learn anything useful I'll post it here. What I've read has been amusing and possibly helpful.
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What a great time! The positions that are not outsourced to indians are replaced with H1Bs.

People don't value you, they don't value skills and they value people who bullshit and lie over people who work hard and deliver.

Don't worry, most positions are fake jobs and they'll send you an automated mail that they totally evaluated your cv.
 
Glassdoor and Indeed work better than LinkedIn. LinkedIn is just IT tranny Facebook, Libtard HR Activist Facebook, and Jeets scamming.

Indeed I at least get a 6/10 white chick on a video call saying “sorry we got a better/ closer candidate”. Glassdoor somehow flittered out a lot of the Jeets. STEM job hunting sucks. Glad to at least be marginally under employed while hunting.
 
LinkedIn is pure trash. Thanks to the over million jobs lost in 2025, my feed is full of these poor suckers who feel like the key to getting a job is to become a full time blogger (or whatever they call it now). Lots of uninformed opinions about shit that is just glorifying hustle culture, complete with an AI graphic at the bottom with the green swipe “Open to Work” for their PFP. Having to comment on every fucking thing out there just to get a few pity rates. Seeing their posts six months ago where they sucked the assholes of their employers around the clock and then hearing a couple weeks before Christmas that there was a “reorganization” that left them without a job. They’re super grateful that they had the opportunity to work for a generic glorified pink collar gig and then were cut loose at the end of the year. But they’re totally excited for 2026 and this is gonna be their year!
 
AFAB said:
my master's
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Ugh, this is a pet peeve of mine.

Just call it a master's degree, which is what it is.
Faestus said:
Like, everyone seems to DEMAND a profile, to the point where applications have a "required" tab for Linkedin.
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I just give them the base LI URL or one to a celebrity (eg - Bill Gates).

Why? Because I included all this info in n my fucking resume and don't appreciate the busy work.
 
I actually will say this, I have had a lot more Boomers in my community try to help me. It might just be my religious community, but I’ll have some boomer with a similar degree email it to people I’ve applied to.

It’s helped get me some interviews or at least amend my resume.

Linked in is really just useful for seeing someone profile and copying that. I end up putting shit into an MLM to rewrite it anyway.
 
So I sent an application for a company that deals with septic tanks. Not really sure how to feel about this.
 
drfuzzyballs said:
So I sent an application for a company that deals with septic tanks. Not really sure how to feel about this.
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If you put on the app that you've worked with a lot of Indians in the past so bad smells in a professional setting don't bother you, that'll likely help your odds here.
 
Started my current job in October. I'm a "risk and strategy analyst" for a bank which means so far I've been refactoring a legacy simulation codebase and wrestling with Power BI, Excel, and various PowerPoints. It doesn't sound like much on paper, and to be honest it isn't, but given the two Indian women who make up half my team, one of whom is my manager, has made that incredibly stressful. Another point about my team, we've always had a vacancy during my time here, and for most of my time here we've had 2 vacancies, it's not hard to see why. I may have mentally checked out but I dread my 1-on-1 with my manager this week. Regardless, I updated my resume last month and am going to start applying for other jobs, ideally not in finance to avoid the freaks. I'd love to avoid working for and with Indians but in my field that's asking for a bit too much it seems.
 
singlele said:
Started my current job in October. I'm a "risk and strategy analyst" for a bank which means so far I've been refactoring a legacy simulation codebase and wrestling with Power BI, Excel, and various PowerPoints. It doesn't sound like much on paper, and to be honest it isn't, but given the two Indian women who make up half my team, one of whom is my manager, has made that incredibly stressful. Another point about my team, we've always had a vacancy during my time here, and for most of my time here we've had 2 vacancies, it's not hard to see why. I may have mentally checked out but I dread my 1-on-1 with my manager this week. Regardless, I updated my resume last month and am going to start applying for other jobs, ideally not in finance to avoid the freaks. I'd love to avoid working for and with Indians but in my field that's asking for a bit too much it seems.
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If you're working for jeets, all you have to do is THE NEEDFUL, and show them BOBS and VAGENE. PROBLEM SOL....oh, wait, they're LADY jeets, and you're most likely a dude with no bobs and/or vagene.

In that case, promise to marry them in a gaudy lavish ceremony, then bail on her and the job as soon as you find something better. PROBLEM SOLVED! YOU'RE WELCOME!
 
I'm still holding the shit end of the stick as usual. I swear getting on welfare is less onerous than getting employed.
 
Consider getting an offer happening randomly, not due some thought process in HR's or some manager's mind but a coin flip, which doesn't have anything to do with who you are, what your skills are or what your merits are. Don't get demoralized because of the coin falling on the wrong side.
 
REGENDarySumanai said:
I'm still holding the shit end of the stick as usual. I swear getting on welfare is less onerous than getting employed.
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Sadly I can see any welfare program getting the "back of the shed" treatment the more we import the dregs of the planet that abuse the shit out of it, they'll either axe it or make it far worse and far harder for people to get on it, and sadly the people that will be affected the most are the ones that actually need welfare.
 
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