Job Hunting Tips and Tricks. - Or how to not get stuck as a retail wagie

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Meat Target said:
Referring to the company as "family"
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If you see this on a job listing, run for the hills and never look back.

Had an interview recently for a job I thought I had in the bag; they were nice enough to call me back two days later and explain I wasn't hired in spite of me being "a hard worker". Doesn't help there are a dearth of jobs in my state (FL), and more people want to keep moving down here while more houses get built. Overcrowding is a growing problem in Florida, and it doesn't help when nobody can find work while it can take fifteen minutes to drive four miles.
 
Fanatical Pragmatist said:
I will caveat this with updating that I've accepted a job with an org which I sent in a hand-typed cover letter for.
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I will caveat this with updating that I’ve accepted a job with an org which I sent in an AI generated cover letter and AI formated CV for.

Getting a job is a total fucking crap shoot and it all hinges on getting lucky with the person doing the hiring (HR or hiring manager).
 
Faestus said:
Yea I just Ai cover letters now; fuck it, nobody's gonna read it anyway.

Is there a chance to get a job in tech without a LinkedIn profile? Like, everyone seems to DEMAND a profile, to the point where applications have a "required" tab for Linkedin.
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I got one without a LinkedIn. I tell them it increases chances for phishing attempts against me and that I don't want to deal with it.
 
LatinasAreTheFuture said:
I have been having the damnedest time getting a job. I can send in applications online and never get a call back. I go in and the hiring manager keeps informing that she wants me, but after two months of going back every week checking in i have yet to get the okay, and i am apparently still waiting as they never turned me down.

Im at my wits end.
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Had this once for the better part of a year.

Good luck to you, but at best its incredibly disrespectful to candidates even if they want you, and thats being generous.

Didn't wind up getting the job, but you know that meme with the HR lady? I viscerally felt the hate the OP had in it, and legit needed to touch grass- but you cant, you need a job, right?

What this basically is, is that HR has a ton of "good candidates" but cant make up their mind over who to actually hire, so they have to check a million boxes, and do hunger games type things to cover their own asses (oh but what if its the wrong candidate, lets make them compete with this personality test, that one, another programming interview, and a third, and a forth, etc) and its just like

You should have 2 or 3 interviews max. The first one is to get your vibe, to see if youre a good match for the team, that theres no personality red flags, to check your work history, etc. The second is maybe to see your actual coding skills or technical ones. Third is unnecessary, but if its something like a meeting with the CEO at a small company- okay, whatever (really this should occur in the first interview to not waste time)

but so much of what HR is doing is both degrading, and utterly wastes time. We ought to have a first come, first serve system in part- but really where "If you think a candidate is good, make up your mind within 2 weeks and hire them. If not, fuck off".

HR not being able to do that, or to take even the slightest risk (oh no, this candidate has a 81.5 percent average in uni, and this one has an 81.7 percent average, better put them through dozens of more tests), kills the job market
 
DiscoRodeo said:
HR not being able to do that
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The internal fallout from a wrong hire is always going to be worse than leaving a position unfilled a couple of weeks longer. Keeping staff motivated to do extra work that "we couldn't find the right person for yet" is easier than keeping staff motivated to do extra work that somebody is literally paid to but unable/-willing to do.
 
Milles d'Allemagne said:
The internal fallout from a wrong hire is always going to be worse than leaving a position unfilled a couple of weeks longer. Keeping staff motivated to do extra work that "we couldn't find the right person for yet" is easier than keeping staff motivated to do extra work that somebody is literally paid to but unable/-willing to do.
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Thats what HR is paid for though. To be able to make that tough decision and live with it.

If they cant do it, hire a monkey or a high schooler instead.

If theyre hung up over whether Indian #90004 is good or not, I have zero sympathy for them.

If they think they can do better, thank the interviewed person for their time and send them a rejection letter within 2 weeks, or at the least dont drag them on for 5+ more interviews.

The fallout from taking on the wrong hire is a problem, but we largely managed to avoid that over the past century, with maybe the forgotten skill of "interviewing the fucking person" to gage if they are the right hire or not.

In an economy where you have millions of layoffs, let alone new grads, and where its a hirers market, this should not be a problem. Theres no shortage of minimally qualified potential staff, and the kicker is chances are, after a year, theyll still hire Apu from India. Maybe the job posting was just a honeypot to stall till they could get an H1B.

Zero sympathy for incompetent HR.
 
The postal academy is pretty tedious but not as bad as factory work and I'm getting paid handsomely to do it.
 
Knyttet said:
I will caveat this with updating that I’ve accepted a job with an org which I sent in an AI generated cover letter and AI formated CV for.

Getting a job is a total fucking crap shoot and it all hinges on getting lucky with the person doing the hiring (HR or hiring manager).
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I agree entirely, I just feel bad going "yeah bro, just use AI cover letters!" without caveat when I myself got a job using a different tactic.
Even if the audience is internet anons...
 
Additional tip for anyone trying to break into the IT field.

Put down Mindlance LLC as your employer, put down a plausible time range, and list a random Indian name on Twitter as your contact with the company.

For anyone who doesn't know Mindlance is a ridiculously predatory primarily Indian IT staffing firm.

Normally this would be a bad thing but you can game it to your advantage.

Because the only thing they care about is landing the contract even if they've never heard of you they will swear on God Vishnu and the holy Ganges that you've worked for them for decades and you are the most skilled employee they've ever seen.
 
Knyttet said:
I will caveat this with updating that I’ve accepted a job with an org which I sent in an AI generated cover letter and AI formated CV for.

Getting a job is a total fucking crap shoot and it all hinges on getting lucky with the person doing the hiring (HR or hiring manager).
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I've spoken with people who had to recruit an assistant and they blatantly said it mattered more whether they looked at applications before or after lunch than what it actually contained.

The whole AI thing is funny cause what you'd actually use AI for at the job is just grammar and correcting mails. What people think AI means is setting up entire automated systems. And chances are the company doesn't have a paid license for any AI at all.
 
Just my regular reminder to keep on networking.
DiscoRodeo said:
Thats what HR is paid for though. To be able to make that tough decision and live with it.
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HR is fucking worthless. They want to be the ones to decide on candidates but want none of the fallout if they pick a bad one. So they do it in the most HR way possible which is to see how many boxes they can tick on a candidate so if anyone ever challenges them legally they can say why they picked Dikshit Poojwal with his fake MS degree in computer science over John Smith. If you’re a hiring manager, do what you can to wrestle away authority for hiring within your team. Depending on your company, you might be partially successful.
 
Fanatical Pragmatist said:
I agree entirely, I just feel bad going "yeah bro, just use AI cover letters!" without caveat when I myself got a job using a different tactic.
Even if the audience is internet anons...
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I don't think telling people to "use AI" is doing them any good. It's a surefire way to get lost in the noise by looking and reading like countless other resumes who ALSO use AI.

In my experience, if you can't find a recruiter to do the searching for you, you probably need to skill up. They have actual roles they are hired by companies to fill, not ghost jobs. They will also coach you on how to nail the interview because it is in their best interests too.
 
Netizennameless said:
I don't think telling people to "use AI" is doing them any good. It's a surefire way to get lost in the noise by looking and reading like countless other resumes who ALSO use AI.

In my experience, if you can't find a recruiter to do the searching for you, you probably need to skill up. They have actual roles they are hired by companies to fill, not ghost jobs. They will also coach you on how to nail the interview because it is in their best interests too.
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the issue is, entry level jobs are so fucked right now and "skilling up" to get the certs they want costs a bit.
 
Old King Koaleamos said:
the issue is, entry level jobs are so fucked right now and "skilling up" to get the certs they want costs a bit.
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That's not an issue, those are next steps. You're going to have to scrimp and save a bit and put that towards your future. Once you get those certs, every sucker in the same boat you're in now is behind you in line for jobs that pay better.
 
Netizennameless said:
That's not an issue, those are next steps. You're going to have to scrimp and save a bit and put that towards your future. Once you get those certs, every sucker in the same boat you're in now is behind you in line for jobs that pay better.
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the issue is that half these certs are for things that don't require a cert. It feels like middle aged out of touch HR people inventing shit again.
 
Old King Koaleamos said:
the issue is that half these certs are for things that don't require a cert. It feels like middle aged out of touch HR people inventing shit again.
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College is a much more expensive version of the same thing and always has been. You still have to jump through the hoops. If this is a show-stopper for you, you are totally fucked.
 
I'll also stress. College is still a very good route to go if you're naturally intelligent and have good social skills. There are plenty of in-person networking opportunities that will arise throughout your college career that can get your foot in the door at companies. Getting straight A's comes second to making yourself known to recruiters and having an actual resume with things on it.
 
Tips for everyone out there struggling:

1. Be a nigger.
2. Be a woman.
3. Be an Indian.
4. Be a Mexican.

If you aren't any of these, consider trooning out.
 
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