Job Hunting Tips and Tricks. - Or how to not get stuck as a retail wagie

[ChompChomp]

J

Remember remote roles are for elderly people or anyone with seniority and a family to take care of.

Like Hell they are. I still am remote and am in neither of those groups. I'm in the "commuting is for self righteous pussies" group, which you seemingly omitted.

Anyone who listens to your (probably) AI-generated drivel will be looking for a job, ad infinitum.

but the work description gives you pause?

"Other duties as assigned."

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Do businesses even hire people anymore? They seem more content in dumping job offers and doing nothing at all rather than hiring a person. It's the HR meme all over again.

 

[Anime Waifu NFT collector]

Been bombarded with resume subreddits and half of the posts are "omgg i started adding bullshit numbers to my bullet points and suddenly I get offers!" followed by hr subhumans going "I need numbers so i can convince my boss you'll be useful!" (...)

lol, unironically when talking to HR you need to assume that they are midwits that don't understand what you do, so trying to have a serious conversation with them about why you are qualified for the job is a waste of time, I have watched about 200 videos on how to pass job interviews and how to get a job using the "hidden job market" (which is getting a job before it's even posted, I talked about it earleir in the thread if you want to check it out), when talking to HR you need to look at the job posting, print it if you can and have in on the table right next to your resume, don't read directly from it but "eye it" every so often, and say things such as "I see you are looking for someone who _____, and as you can see in my resume I am XYZ", and if what you did is not exactly for what they asked for then you tell them that it is very similar and you can do the job.

What HR wants to hear is that you can do the job and fulfill the requirements in the job posting point by point, either by having direct experience or something equivalent, and tell them constantly that you REALLY REALLY want this job, they want to hear how you are a good candidate because you added value with bullshit numbers, and show you have good people's skill, if you are unlikeable they won't want you, and don't show any read flags, recruiters always ask the same questions with different variations and they use these questions to filter out risky candidates via probability and via identifying red flags, they are not looking for something special, they are looking for something safe.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

they are not looking for something special, they are looking for something safe.

Theyre looking for whoever just left. 80% of employers claim they want thinkers and people who can develop- until it comes to hiring and they just want another Emma.

 

[Anime Waifu NFT collector]

Theyre looking for whoever just left. 80% of employers claim they want thinkers and people who can develop- until it comes to hiring and they just want another Emma.

They want someone who won't question them and won't rock the boat, they want you to follow orders and be a good grunt, they don't want you to make them feel stupid or to damage their ego, or to make them look bad to their superiors; "We are only looking for the best!" Nah, they want someone who will do exactly what they are told and leave all decisions and thinking to them.

 

[WE'RE ALL GONNA]

Don't use Linkedin, Easy Apply or anything like it. There are smaller less known sites that crawl through local newspaper ads and company job-posting pages. Use those since there's a small chance they're really actively hiring. (Most job postings are not real anymore.)

Linkedin is only useful for sales, marketing, public relations, etc. Good for "professionals." Don't bother with it unless you have a great resume.

If your goal is a cushy, white collared job here are a couple of tips:
1) Getting a job in small businesses is extremely useful for your resume. You can stretch the shit out of what you've done, and if you're friendly with the owner they'll back you up. Did you work in a bookstore? Inventory management. Did you work in a sandwich shop? Customer retention and sales. etc. Congratulations, you're not a burger flipper, you're an assistant manager.
2) Work, work, work. It's better to stay in a job you don't like for a year than switching back and forth for a couple of months. Even if it's not a direction you want to go. Related to reason #1, unless you give them a reason to overlook it, recruiters won't be a big fan of someone they think will skip at the first sign of trouble.
3) Be open to different kinds of work. Apply for some you are mildly interested in. I am open to programming, playing my instrument, singing, talking, etc. Apply for it all. There's really no harm in having backups to your backups. Away from my first or second job preference, I could have gone to a plumbing trade school or become a garbage collector. Let your ego go if things don't turn out well.
4) Make sure to study often, or have a hobby that could be tangentially related to a potential career. Design stuff. Program stuff. Cook stuff. Video stuff. There's a whole bunch of shit you can leverage out of your time, all it takes is discipline.
5) Be lucky.

 

[werbwub]

It's easier to get employed while you are already employed. Then what the fuck is the point of getting the first job in the first place if you are going to leave it immediately?

There's 2 reasons that come to mind. Firstly, having a job already shows you the HR person you aren't some unemployable neet that can't hold down a job. For a garbage collection job, would you rather hire the janitor that has been employed with his company for a year or hire someone without a job? The janitor has demonstrated he can hold down a job(means he's likely a decent guy to work with) unlike the unemployed person(could be good; could be shit).
To answer why bother hiring if they know you're going to ditch the job, they either don't think you are or it's better to get someone remotely competent immediately even if they job hop soon after. The alternative is not hiring until you come across an unicorn unemployed person; even then, that unemployed person can also job hop.
There's some more nuance but that's the general idea.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

There's 2 reasons that come to mind. Firstly, having a job already shows you the HR person you aren't some unemployable neet that can't hold down a job.

But listing your previous jobs on your resume already proves that you are employable. Getting a job shouldn't be like Whose Line is it Anyways.

 

[werbwub]

But listing your previous jobs on your resume already proves that you are employable. Getting a job shouldn't be like Whose Line is it Anyways.

Things can change after you lose your job. Maybe you've become less personable, less disciplined, less motivated, rusty skills, etc since you've lost your job; you've become sloppy seconds. Unlike the unemployed person, you know the employed person has kept up their appearances, kept up their skills, is disciplined enough to hold down a job, etc. It's totally possible that the employed person is a complete shithead while the unemployed person is a saint but in the eyes of HR, the employed person is a safer bet. Hiring is expensive, think 25% minimum of that employee's yearly salary when onboarding.

 

[Legalize Asbestos]

Theyre looking for whoever just left. 80% of employers claim they want thinkers and people who can develop- until it comes to hiring and they just want another Emma.

Every job I have ever worked has claimed they want people who can suggest improvements. Every job I have ever worked will punish you if you suggest improvements. It is always because the boss is too retarded to evaluate your suggestion - or too egotistic to accept that a subordinate had a good idea he didn't come up with.

The exception to this rule is if the boss thinks you are a magician. Then he will happily drop $200,000 on the wrong thing that fixes zero problems. I imagine it's different in startups, or if the original founder is still in charge, but I wouldn't know.

When they ask how you improved the last workplace in an interview, just mention something small that saved man-hours and cost nothing to implement.

 

[naffatune]

Had this thread pop up, so I thought I'd say my piece.

As far as getting a job, the most straightforward method is going to a college or university, specifically one that is well connected with the industry.

Post-secondary education, though often criticized, nonetheless grants you a lot of important connections that you otherwise would not get outside of it. The degree itself is not that useful, but the industry connections and the pipeline are what makes attending college worth it.

If you manage to get an internship and make a good account of yourself, you will get promoted to an established position within the same company. My peers who had the most mileage job-wise used this method.

I will say though that being a student trying to get internships is tough nowadays, even at more prestigious universities. But it beats being an outsider with no discernable background.

 

[RegularTyping]

Do businesses even hire people anymore? They seem more content in dumping job offers and doing nothing at all rather than hiring a person. It's the HR meme all over again.View attachment 8820520

There had been this one female recruiter who was a hairdresser prior to getting the job, according to her LinkedIn.
I think about that a lot.

 

[Payne in the Max]

Do businesses even hire people anymore? They seem more content in dumping job offers and doing nothing at all rather than hiring a person. It's the HR meme all over again.View attachment 8820520

Don't you just wanna punch this photoshop-drawn woman in the face?

Indeed is pretty shit too. I've had times where I would apply for Indeed and the interviewer wouldn't even expect me because I guess they don't check if someone has set up a schedule through there.

 

[Sayer of the N-Word]

I nailed a phone interview and was told I'd get an email with some final details to go over and a Teams link to schedule an "onboarding huddle". The email said that "formal business attire" was mandatory for employees even at my entry level despite only being a back office critter, cologne and any kind of scented deodorants were not allowed at the interview, and I had to smile during the interview and at work generally. The kicker was that the pay being offered was less than what we had just discussed.

I still thought about it for a minute... why not just show up for a few weeks, collect a paycheck or two, then get fired for poor performance at a job I'll never put on my resume anyway? And maybe all this shit was a test, like Van Halen's M&Ms demands. But either way it told me that the company had an unbearable management team and I might not last more than a day or two, certainly not for what they were offering.

 

[MaggotCheeser]

I know it's mentioned before, but if you really need a job, part/full time, go be a security guard. Try the big companies like Securitas, Allied Universal, and GardaWorld. They will hire ANYONE with a pulse. The pay is shit, but you do have a pretty high chance of getting hired. Most of the time you do nothing, and you can for the most part slack off.

 

[BeardedWall]

I have a degree worth a shit so my experience differs. I dont want to derail this but will post my experience if anyone is interested.

Sidebar about LinkedIn it's mostly worthless but I keep it for the occasional gold nugget in the piles of shit. I have gotten clients from it. Of interest to you guys I have actually had students at my university reach out to me as I have my alumni status shown. If they arent a complete retard I forward them all day to my company for internships.
Most of the crop hr finds cant even write an email.

 

[souschef]

Do businesses even hire people anymore? They seem more content in dumping job offers and doing nothing at all rather than hiring a person. It's the HR meme all over again.View attachment 8820520

God i just love being in a business where we don't deal with this kind of retard anymore. I remember when i was in college, how many pointless interviews and panels i had to do, some lasting months just to get ghosted at the end

Now, if i wanna work, i just go in, ask for the position, get tested right there and get out with a job. Never looked back, fuck white collar jobs

 

[singlele]

Seems like I'm going to get fired next week after being at this shitass job since October 2025. Definitely not gonna miss this job or my manager but I'm using this opportunity to pivot my career into something else. I've mentioned before doing research and data analytics work for universities and hospitals but I've also been reminded of post-baccalaureate programs. Do any of you have experience with post-bacc shit? I was a TA and did a research apprenticeship thing during my undergrad.

Also this job in Rhode Island I was interviewing for seems to have ghosted me.

 

[Atticus Carpenter]

The pay is shit, but you do have a pretty high chance of getting hired. Most of the time you do nothing, and you can for the most part slack off.

Don't you need to pass some fitness tests, have a weapons permit and some other mumbo jumbo there?

Personally i've been in the freight business lately. First doing truck driving jobs for newaly half a year. Driving at night, spending 4 days without a shower and retarded bosses that don't return calls for 3 hours killed it for me. I moved to the human freight biz driving buses. Much more tolerable time wise but extremely aggravating. Kids are horrible and some people are far worse than them. That on top of working on average 70 hours a week from the get go. You also earn comparatively less driving buses but at least you sleep at home every day.

In the freight business, be human or not, almost everyone will pick you. You already see plenty of south american and jeet truck drivers that can barely speak english and that is already a sign. Truck drivers and bus drivers are in high demand as the pool slowly dwindles. Plus, in my case the driving school teacher has a list of companies he introduces potential candidates in the area. And i also had the bonus that one of my relatives owns a bus company so he took me the second i got my license.

Now i'm doing something else but if it falls through i might go back to bus driving.

 

[WE'RE ALL GONNA]

Not even being stupid or funny. This works 100% of the time for companies that are understaffed and sprint through critical things only once the deadline has almost arrived. And that's most companies in America right now, btw.

After your interview(s), regardless of how any of it goes, keep touching base with the hiring/HR point of contact. Just like a short email note weekly confirming you're still interested in the role (or even a similar role) and hope they're doing well with their search.

I've been on both sides of this: the HR and the job seeker. In all scenarios, having even a basic ongoing rapport with the hiring/HR/point of contact person means that your name is at the top of the list after 1-3 months when the people at the top are finally prioritizing "just picking someone decent to fill this fucking role" and they demand an instant name and an ass in a seat by the end of the week from HR.

Works every time. Have genuinely earned 3 jobs this way and hired people this way too because some executive straight up told me "who's still a warm candidate, now that we've dragged this out so long?"

This works btw. This is how I got my current job. I didn't hear a response for 2 weeks and I emailed the person responsible (now my boss) for any updates.
Never give up, kiwis.