Disaster Florida Man vs Irma Megathread

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http://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/article171291337.html

Florida is about to get raped by the largest hurricane it's ever seen. I have unwaivering faith in Florida man's cockroach like ability to survive against all odds. Godspeed FL kiwis.

Update:

Evacuation orders underway
Monroe County (Keys) is under evacuation order. Miami-Dade County is likely to order South Dade and Miami Beach evacuations tomorrow.

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/weather/hurricane/article171343362.html

Update 2:

The hurricane is so severe it's reading as an earthquake.
 
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Same thing really.

If you die that just means you were too haram for Allah.

I have no idea why anyone would want to live near the coast with dangers like this. I'm lucky that I live pretty clear of most natural disasters. But you can't bet mother nature.
 
My folks are currently staying at an uncle's house overnight, and then we'll all be staying at his girlfriend's house near Orlando (on the mainland and in an elevated area, at least away from the water) for the next few days. There was surprisingly no traffic on the way there, but a lot of places were closed and boarded up.

José is now a Cat. 4 and is supposedly aiming towards the Carolinas. Hopefully residents are paying close attention to the news as much as us Floridians.
IMG_2817.jpg IMG_2818.jpg IMG_2819.jpg IMG_2820.jpg IMG_2821.jpg IMG_2822.jpg
 
Daily update for the fam:

Rain is starting to pour in like a bitch. It ain't hurricane rain, but it's still pretty rough. Went out for another beer run and for some cash - just in case - and it was brutal driving through it. Except it's kinda fun when you're blasting 80's Metallica, made me feel like a Viking or some shit going on a crusade. Noticed that most gas stations are out of fuel, and the family-run stations basically said "good game faggots" and already boarded up and shut down. If you didn't get gas, well, at this point, you're shit outta luck. A lot of the ATMs are out of cash, too. Luckily I found one that had some left. Starting to hunker down some more, prepping the parent's house for the storm. They gotta work the next few days at the hospital and will be sleeping there, so I'm by myself until the storm passes. Ain't scared, just bored. Going through alcohol way quicker than I should, but I must maintain my status as a natural born Florida Man.

Even though Irma downgraded to a four, the eye looks to be on a path over Central Florida. Which means the coasts, where I'm at, are gonna get shit on. Erosion ain't a joke, my friends. Last year with Hurricane Matthew, the erosion took large chunks of A1A up by Flagler Beach into the Atlantic. Looked metal as fuck, but you couldn't drive over it for quite a while. It's pretty much a waiting game at this point. Super boring.

A lot of my friends on FB are "going" to events like "Firing Kamehameha's at Hurricane Irma". Shit's so fake. Nigguh, it took Master Roshi 50 years to master that technique, and you expect me to believe all of y'all got that mastered? Nah. I refuse to believe it. I know they're trying to be cute and ditsy and shit, but it's cringy as fuck. If some of 'em actually go to the coast and do it for the sake of a video potentially going viral, then they deserve to die. And I will openly mock them at their funeral. Then try to bang their sister.

My buddy and I are gonna take our trucks to Central FL once the storm goes. We got friends and family there, so we'll help with debris and cleanup and whatnot. If there's any Kiwi's around the Orange County area and need some help, hit me up and I'll try to see if we can be of any assistance. I know we're just faggots that laugh at other faggots, but we gotta stick together, man.
 
This shit looks serious.

Any people on here, except the ones I don't like :tomgirl:, who are in a area that is going to be affected I wish you well.

Stay safe.
 
FPL is already reporting almost fifty thousand people have lost power. Already, their infrastructure is so Third World, they're anticipating on rebuilding instead of repairing.

If anything good comes out of this, I hope NetEra Energy (FPL) goes bankrupt, and a more competent company like Duke Energy or Southern Company buys them out. Even TEPCO in Fukushima is more reliable compared to these fucks, which is scary.
 
My island was completely in the opposite direction, so I'm good. But once it finally makes its northern turn (supposed to be happening right now), we may get a few winds.

FYI my island is one of the two most northern ones, the one on the right.
 
My folks are turning off their cellphone so I have no more news from them. They are freaking out, it's their first time taking a hurricane. I hope they come back to Canada safetly.
 
FPL is already reporting almost fifty thousand people have lost power. Already, their infrastructure is so Third World, they're anticipating on rebuilding instead of repairing.

If anything good comes out of this, I hope NetEra Energy (FPL) goes bankrupt, and a more competent company like Duke Energy or Southern Company buys them out. Even TEPCO in Fukushima is more reliable compared to these fucks, which is scary.
Hey now, don't shit on FPL! Their infrastructure is some of the strongest in the world:
photos.medleyphoto.1389201.jpg


(Yeah, fuck FPL.)
 
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