Containment What will happen when Barb dies?

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The coroner will haul barb's body away and within days Chris will start receiving notices from the county to transfer the body. He will call a funeral home and learn that even simple cremation costs more than a thousand dollars, so he will ignore the letters and eventually the county will assume stewardship of the body and cremate her without without a funeral.
 
about:blank said:
The coroner will haul barb's body away and within days Chris will start receiving notices from the county to transfer the body. He will call a funeral home and learn that even simple cremation costs more than a thousand dollars, so he will ignore the letters and eventually the county will assume stewardship of the body and cremate her without without a funeral.
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Dang. That's bleak. I guess that's what Barb gets for ignoring the Ghost of Christmas Future.
 
4Macie said:
Barb will die, Chris will call 911
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More like, he'll post this on Facebook:
babs end.jpg

Then he'll go back to play vidya and heat HungryMan dinners.
Since Cole is not coming, Chris'll just get used to the smell.
 
Francine StripeCheer said:
oh god, Barb is irresponsible enough to not write a will, and weens will tell Cole about the big payday he's missing out on
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Imagine a scenario where say, Barb actually does have a will, but it was made before Chris was born, was never updated, and left everything she owned to Cole... Right now I'm picturing Chris finding a copy of that will and going on a road trip to find his estranged brother to demand he give up his inheritance.
 
Donald Duck said:
Imagine a scenario where say, Barb actually does have a will, but it was made before Chris was born, was never updated, and left everything she owned to Cole.
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I truly think this is how it will play out.

Like Chris, Barb's personal issues make it difficult to pin down her actual intelligence. That, and being a seasoned cog of bureaucracy for thirty years, at least lead me to think some paperwork exists somewhere.
 
Donald Duck said:
Imagine a scenario where say, Barb actually does have a will, but it was made before Chris was born, was never updated, and left everything she owned to Cole... Right now I'm picturing Chris finding a copy of that will and going on a road trip to find his estranged brother to demand he give up his inheritance.
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Yes, but to Chris-Chan's surprise, Cole will reveal that what he thought was a totally legally and binding will is nothing but an old burger wrapper gifted to Chris by Barb to appease him during one of his, "I want something" tantrums. The real will was made the last time Cole saw Barb. The real will states that Cole has inherited control of Chris, but Cole will unceremoniously hand over that responsibility to the mental health services in the state of Virginia. It would be nice if Waterman was his road trip buddy, though. This entire concept sounds like a good premise for an indie film, like the transsexual and even more developmentally delayed version of "What's Eating Gilbert Grape"

Toodles said:
More like, he'll post this on Facebook:
View attachment 113213
Then he'll go back to play vidya and heat HungryMan dinners.
Since Cole is not coming, Chris'll just get used to the smell.
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You got Chris-Chan's concept of what vaginas look like...big, black, and featureless holes
 
Toodles said:
More like, he'll post this on Facebook:
View attachment 113213
Then he'll go back to play vidya and heat HungryMan dinners.
Since Cole is not coming, Chris'll just get used to the smell.
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Old Smith Cole
Was a weeny old soul
And a weeny old soul was he
Chris begged for his cash
Then he begged to the trolls
Smithy laughed and he tittered with glee
 
Cole getting the house and kicking Chris out is my favorite I wish it would happen scenario.
Then Chris could really become the bag woman he is destined to be and push around shopping carts full of Sonichu amiibos while ranting about Sonic's blue arms.
 
Francine StripeCheer said:
"A funeral service will be held at Monticello Memory Gardens in Charlottesville, Virginia, 10 a.m. Monday, September 12, 2011. A memorial service to follow on a later date at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church."
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Thanks. I guess there wasn't any troll presence then, if that's all we know. No reason to think we will get field agents at Barb's. Probably for the best.
 
Chan the Wizard said:
Cole getting the house and kicking Chris out is my favorite I wish it would happen scenario.
Then Chris could really become the bag woman he is destined to be and push around shopping carts full of Sonichu amiibos while ranting about Sonic's blue arms.
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I like the idea of Cole just demolishing it out of spite, cuz there's no way he'll be able to sell it.
 
Manly-Chicken said:
I like the idea of Cole just demolishing it out of spite, cuz there's no way he'll be able to sell it.
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Cole demolishes the house.

Cole hears panicked cries from the rubble.

"Why, son? WHY?"

Cole's real father was buried in the horde all these years.

Cole rushes to save him.

He's clutching something to his chest.

Cole sees that it is a wrapped gift. It has a tag that says 'Happy birthday, Cole Smithey!"

Cole opens it.

It is Toy Story 3 on Blu-Ray.
 
Chan the Wizard said:
Cole getting the house and kicking Chris out is my favorite I wish it would happen scenario.
Then Chris could really become the bag woman he is destined to be and push around shopping carts full of Sonichu amiibos while ranting about Sonic's blue arms.
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How are we supposed to laugh at him if he becomes a hobo? Are you volunteering for Chriswatch?

Lets not break the lolcow until its dry!
 
Alec Benson Leary said:
Isn't that Ahuviya guy a hobo? He still gets watched fine.
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Sorry I don't really follow him , he looks too crazy and disgusting and not in a funny good way!

You think Chris could be able to upload stuff on the internet from the streets?
 
It really shouldn't have to be said that crashing Barb's funeral is a bad idea. Keyword: Crashing. Some ween better not show up and scream "DON'T CALL ANYBODY" (Wouldn't scream Julay, they at least have to make a feeble attempt not to sound like a ween) in an attempt to disrupt the funeral. That'd be terribly disrespectful. Barb is shit, but she's still a person and is entitled to a proper burial.
 
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