Containment What will happen when Barb dies?

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Francine StripeCheer said:
oh god, Barb is irresponsible enough to not write a will, and weens will tell Cole about the big payday he's missing out on
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Cole is not dumb, I am sure that he has kept up with all of Barb's happenings and knows that the only money these people have is probably tied up in the house or is in life insurance. Cole may agree with weens because he hates his mother and brother, but he is not desperate to become one. Interacting with Chris will keep him needy and focused on Cole, so I doubt Cole wants anything to do with Chris.
 
Mariposa Electrique said:
Cole is not dumb, I am sure that he has kept up with all of Barb's happenings and knows that the only money these people have is probably tied up in the house or is in life insurance. Cole may agree with weens because he hates his mother and brother, but he is not desperate to become one. Interacting with Chris will keep him needy and focused on Cole, so I doubt Cole wants anything to do with Chris.
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This ignores the fact that by virtue of living across the country, it's relatively easy for Cole to ignore Chris no matter how needy Chris gets. He could very easily pop into Chris's life, rob him of half the value of the house, pop out again, and go back to ignoring Chris as much as the weens will allow him to. He really has nothing to lose other than maybe a week or two of his time by trying to grab up a portion of the estate, and if he got even half the value of the house, or even just the lot it's on, that's still a pretty good paycheck, especially for a guy who apparently makes his living writing shitty online movie reviews and auctioning off lunches with himself.
 
Chan the Wizard said:
I'm almost certain this is going to happen.

Unless Rocky or someone else takes charge, I don't see Chris sending out proper notifications. And I don't think there's anyone left alive other than Chris that cares about Barb. If someone like Rocky or other caregiver takes over, I'm sure some well-meaning Church people will go.
If it's just Chris, it'll be a FaceBook or YouTube video saying Barb is dead and he needs donations now.
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Pretty sure Barb doesn't go to church much, if ever. So probably not even that latter bit.
 
Mariposa Electrique said:
I think Chris will be blindsided by her death, he probably thinks that she will die the he minute does
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either chris doesn't think that barb will die at all because "she's alive now, and i see nothing changing that:autism:"
or chris thinks he knows when she'll die "it was in a dream:autism::autism::autism::autism:"
or chris thinks it will happen but it will have obvious signs and there will be enough time for him to get his goodbyes in order "just like in da movies:autism::autism:"
 
Frozen Fishsticks said:
There's a chance Chris will start blubbering at the funeral service so I hope the field agents in attendance have decent recording equipment to capture that moment. Maybe make them wear a wire in their pickle suits and Guy Fawkes masks.
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For an absolute retard, you make a great point here. The problem is that anyone at Barb's funeral service will stick out like a sore thumb because nobody gives a fuck about Barb. So anyone who shows up will be Chris or a troll. That troll better have balls of steel.
 
AnOminous said:
For an absolute exceptional individual, you make a great point here. The problem is that anyone at Barb's funeral service will stick out like a sore thumb because nobody gives a fuck about Barb. So anyone who shows up will be Chris or a troll. That troll better have balls of steel.
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I wonder if chris would be okay with non-family showing up
I think he would flip out at someone who wasn't family because "yer a dirty twoll come to laugh at me"
 
I know this is a containment thread for repetitive rubbernecking but I still find it absolutely ridiculous that people are actually considering going to Barb's funeral.
 
In order for any funeral or burial to take place, he would need a decent amount of money. He would definitely resort to a massive e-begging campaign to cover the costs.
 
Alec Benson Leary said:
I know this is a containment thread for repetitive rubbernecking but I still find it absolutely ridiculous that people are actually considering going to Barb's funeral.
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I'm working on securing the pay-per-view rights, are you interested in providing color commentary on the livecast?
I still need someone to shout "GOOOAALLLL" like a Mexican soccer broadcaster when the coffin is lowered into the grave.
 
Barb will die, Chris will call 911, they'll come and take the body, Chris will make some media comment about it and ask for money. Just like he did for Bob's funeral.

He will keep the pets I'm sure. Simply because he won't know what else to do with them. They'll die of neglect or escape. Maybe he'll just leave the door open and never let them back in. Chris will continue to beg online as money becomes tighter and tighter now that Barbs half of the income is gone.

Eventually Chris will die or he will do something so crazy that he's involuntarily put in a home because he's become mentally unstable enough where he cannot be on his own. Wee.ns will go visit Chris in the home and that'll be the only update we will get on his condition until an obit from the home makes its way to us.
 
AnOminous said:
For an absolute exceptional individual, you make a great point here. The problem is that anyone at Barb's funeral service will stick out like a sore thumb because nobody gives a fuck about Barb. So anyone who shows up will be Chris or a troll. That troll better have balls of steel.
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We should disguise them as the priest or one of the pallbearers. Hell, why not have the organist be our field agent?

"The first thing you should know, Chris, is that we have men everywhere....."

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