I wish I could take the bolded and make EVERY high school kid in the world hang it above their mirrors every morning.
I'm probably one of the older people on the forum, and I don't understand this thing I've been reading online about virgins and their "rage." I don't remember at all thinking that sex would fulfill my esteem or anything- I only remember wishing for the mushy love and cuddles stuff. I remember being deliriously happy when I received a rose from a guy for the first time, as a teen. But please, think of the decades and decades ahead of your lives, stop worrying about virginity. (I know young men angst about it more than girls do, and I do admit I can't relate to that as much.) Sex is a part of life, it creates children which is amazing, but it's not all that.
I'm with you on this one. I'm male, and while yes, I wanted it very much when I was younger due to the raging hormones, I never felt as if it would change my life once it happened. The "virgin with rage" thing, if you read what they are saying, it isn't even a desire for the physical gratification of sex, they literally view it as a "rite of passage" that, once they pass this milestone, they will become more personable, social, have courage and confidence, etc.
They build it up in their heads into something so special and sacred, put far too much importance on it, which more than likely makes it even harder to be confident and sociable around someone they are fond of and who may become the one they finally end up sleeping with.
Sure, its a somewhat important part of a relationship, especially at first, but that isn't what its all about. They say they don't want to just "lose" their virginity with a prostitute because they view that as "cheating", they want to "earn it" the "right way". But at the same time, if sex is such an important milestone for a young adolescent male in their minds, why not just get it over with?
I can understand the reluctance to getting with a prostitute though, as paying for it isn't the same as courting a young lady and convincing her to jump in bed with you. But maybe, getting it out of the way in that fashion would eliminate the sacredness and the mysteriousness of "sex". It might allow them to finally realize that everyone has sex and its not that special. Look outside, there are dogs humping in the street. Go to the grocery store, the 300 lb. cashier is having wild hot sex with her husband. The 65 year old man at church with his wife, they go home and have sweaty, senior citizen sex.
While it can be special with someone you are in love with, its by no means uncommon.