random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Speedrunner]

If I saw a gaggle of zoomers saying "six seven six seven" over and over again I'd throw rocks at them and tell them to stop talking like fucking niggers. This is just the latest fad of theirs that should result in them being hung by their ankles and viciously flogged.

 

[CEO of Gay]

A concerned member of the community reached out via the report system to ask the staff team to ask you to "not to shit up the thread with your schizo rants".

 

[Pedophobe]

I wish I could put bullying retards on my resume.

 

[Slideshow Bill]

in TYPICAL WOMAN FASHION, has to go hysterical and get overly emotional about the whole thing.

 

[Sweeter and Savoury]

This is classic Greeetardation.

 

[Zemblan Physics]

Wow a guy goes to jail, gets his kids taken, tries to be a throuple or quad group or whatever the fuck with his girl, gets beaten like a bitch and is probably still wearing his high vis shirt

 

[Hooked on phobics]

pedophiles should get sympathy from others

the lack of sympathy for pedophiles on kiwifarms is outstanding

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Enjoying a nice day at the park; pedos ruined that one for me. Now if you read a book and too many kids are around mothers ask you to leave BECAUSE A MAN CANT JUST READ A BOOK AND ENJOY THE MOMENT ANYMORE.

All of those emo posers ruined recreational cutting for me.

#wristgate

This thread should be subtitled "Troons ruin everything good."

My aunt is part of knitting church group which is just a bunch of boomers, they got exposed to troons thanks to Ravelry. A couple of them stumbled on SRS surgery while trying to figure out what trannies were and got mentally scarred. I feel bad because it was just a bunch of nice old ladies whos past time got ruined by freaks.

I got interested in amateur radio because the physics is fascinating. Then I found out the hobby is replete with absolute lunatic boomers and semifunctional autists who hate the government. I like it more now.

True crime is becoming more popular with woman which would be a good thing for me, but I scare them off when I start talking about serial rapists/school shooters. They only like dahmer cause he's a fag.

Furby says NO to trans rights

My favorite hobby of all time was fucking my first girlfriend. It was great until everyone started doing it.



All my other hobbies have been ruined by the government.

the only thing worse than listening to an especially annoying woman speak for an extended period is listening to any man pretending to be one.

What were you planning on doing with her? Taking her for a ride in your Eta-2? Don't deny it. We have the holo-recordings of you saying, and I quote, "Come on babe, the Jedi Code don't say nothing about hook-ups!" and "I wanna be Boba Fett in yo' Sarlaac Pit." She's a 14 year old Padawan, Ghostse.

i fuckin hate star wars so much, star wars is gay, george lucas is a genius for tossing that 4 billion dollar pipe bomb in those retards laps

No, but he wants to fuck a pack of wolves.

Motherfucker imagine being afraid to bring some form of amusement to your friends in this depressing ass fucking world, hollow sectoid ass shit.

Do you fucking know what a lolcow is? It's someone being unintentionally funny sometimes in a way that can be milked for laughs. That's it. It's not a black mark to completely unperson you like video essaysits have started framing it.

In 10 years we're going to hear about how Netflix has kept the lights on solely through sex appeal in their Looney Tunes preschool shows.

"Ally" is just the political equivalent of a BDSM sub.

As a reminder, nobody is impressed that you pretend not to watch porn.

A boomer debated a homosexual federal informant with an entourage of brown Muslim pedophiles and somehow the boomer lost.

What an amazing time to live in where youtube gives you a chick to jerk off to and you go from never hearing of her to seeing her blown out asshole within minutes.

Well you see Europeans, being a lower, degenerated form of white people (like the German Shepherds with the fucked up back legs) are very retarded and are prone to political and strategic blunders and miscalculations and delusions of relevance, importance, sovereignty and national prestige. It does not help that many of them are stuck in the Cold War AND have the most persuasive agents of the Kievan Kabal whispering in their ears. In short, Europeans are retarded, genuinely believe their own bullshit, have a pathological hatred of Russia and have chained themselves to a gang of corrupt politicians and Nazi larpers who are determined to set all their money and military equipment on fire before throwing it into the black hole that is the Donetsk front.

I'm not going to spend my limited free time outside of work, hobbies, and hanging out with friends obsessing over and hunting down people who draw porn of Stephen Universe, you can though.

I thought Google's spyware knew me better than this.

 

[Hooked on phobics]

message me on email slungus22@proton.me

i am tired of being called a pedophile

Debating Dumb people is worse than pedophilia

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

No, child, you did not
Fart in my wife's vagina.
Your life is over

I got into a hole where I had a chapbook's worth of Patrick S. Tomlinson haikus I was writing before I realized I needed to take some time off.

Nobody in this thread has any idea what they are talking about.

I dunno, man, I just decided to throw Louisiana under the bus for a shitpost.

NOW I feel properly mocked. Thank you.

Get off your high horse, mother fucker. Stop acting like you've never woken up from a meth induced psychosis in a motel 8 in Elmira, New York covered in blood with a dead hooker on the bed.
It's so unbelievable how fucking SMUG some of you guys act on this site.

Imagine not unironically believing that every problem can be solved with judicious use of the power of the atom.

You Chicken Littles need to relax. Pop a benzo, drink some booze, shoot some fucking heroin. Whatever you need to do to stop screaming about how the sky is falling.

it sometimes doesn't work because Japan refuses to believe that the Amish have discovered the internet. Just refresh it until you trick Japan

we have the capability to choose when and where to shit
i cant help being racist

 

[Among Us Gaming]

Always nice to drop by the retarded nigger torture chamber to watch the suffering in real-time

 

[Tablet County]

seaslugs penis fence during mating season, since they have both organs. Loser gets pregnant.

 

[Gentlebastard]

What an amazing time to live in where youtube gives you a chick to jerk off to and you go from never hearing of her to seeing her blown out asshole within minutes.

I clicked on that expecting it to be an edit of Rick shitting himself. I'm glad (for multiple reasons) that I was wrong.

WW2 is the big bang for SJW there was nothing in the universe and then hitler appear and invaded Poland.

I'm sure he's been informed by his large team of lawyers that a motion unopposed is a motion granted; hence if he does NOT reply to every call of fat or faggot, then the motion will carry and he WILL be a fat faggot (with or without bitch tits accessory, sold separately, not available in all areas).

Trains are like fat chicks. The only people who pretend to like them are guys who've never been able to do any better and guys that have never had to fuck them.

How did you manage to correctly use "two" the first time but not the second time?

The bullying is coming from their own inner monologue.

Working in IT? Grow mutton chops and menace your subordinates with a Webley revolver. Productivity will increase 75%!

 

[Cancer ♥]

Why would you want to alter what the Lord gave you anyway? Your tiny penis is a part of God's plan.

 

[Meat Target]

No deity could cleanse the STDs from that stone afterwards.

Anybody that would put their dick anywhere near that trollop would fuck a melted ice cream cone that fell on the ground.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

A lot of this will be late, but my wife says she doesn't think I'm gay.

 

[demicolon]

It's about ethics in E-Daddying

 

[Drip Torch]

Debating Dumb people is worse than pedophilia

 

[Harm]

There's inside thoughts and then there's outside thoughts. 'decent twink rudolph' should stay as an inside thought.

 

[BIG BILL HELL'S]

(well, as personable [as] a vat-grown killing machine can be)