random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

Gay porn, generally, isn't as gay as this picture.

Maybe I'm old fashioned but I usually assume that when a woman is hooking up with men, they aren't a lesbian.

So far his most active role in the protest is... (checks notes)... retweeting advice to film in landscape rather than portrait.

That's right, he's commenting on a 12-year-old post to check if she's still with the same dude, or if it's his turn now.

Now THAT is dedication to the art of being a creep.

 

[Aunt Carol]

It moves its torso on a joint that's positioned right where you'd put the onahole.

If I'm ever down this bad I want the people in this thread to kill me with hammers.

That's why I'm now NC with my father, LC with my mother, and on KiwiFarms.

 

[Gangstalker #32194]

The entertainment industry is experiencing post nut clarity, and realizing that in a state of greed-fueled madness, it just fucked a fat, illiterate, tranny AIDS nigger. Now they got the terminal AIDS too.

 

[often puzzled]

Tl;dr: A nature documentary about two Cluster B personalities in a relationship narrated by David Attenborough would be amazing.

 

[neger psykolog]

This makes perfect sense to me. When I see Scalfani I too wish to commit terrorism and violent crimes. Aunt Myrnas Salad? Makes me think of killing homeless people. Chicken Fajitas, healthy eating, chemical attack on a playground.

Jackie, this called a joke. Here is a trusted source for you showing I don't actually mean what I said.

I got fucking radicalized in the Jack Scalfani thread. Viewing his cooking abominations made me realize that some people do not deserve access to base food ingredients and should be sentenced to unseasoned boiled chicken and plain rice for the rest of eternity.

This bitch has radicalized me further against the pajeet. It's her fault! When will she be content? She wants all Indians dead!

 

[Clotso Coof]

you are a millennial so the 88 probably is your birth year because you don't seem the type to sieg heil.

 

[Account]

Why are the news pumpkins so fucked up?

 

[Hamplanet Fitness]

I was about to say based until I saw the picture of him getting gangbanged by black dudes.

 

[3MMA]

courtroom evidence of cuckoldry

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

I can forgive the zoophilia, because we've all been there before. But I can't abide the racism.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Maybe I'm the only one itt who has actually seen a squirrel but that makes no sense at all.

I wish the bullshit stories of torture, assault, spoiled food and - most bizarrely - being forced to pose for photos kissing the Israeli flag were true but alas they are clearly nonsense designed to inspire outrage in the most feeble minded lefists.

inter-racial Richard Speck gay sex scene

An Everett police officer was following the tow truck that was carrying the tow truck.

This is why I prefer my zoomer brainrot to have Farming Simulator footage. If I act it out, I'll just end up with a shitload of zucchinis.

Not only probably shit yourself but also orgasm and give birth? That is a lot of multitasking even for a woman.

You should have to earn your faggotry. It shouldn’t be just accepted. That makes weak fags. We need strong fags built in the fires of adversity and struggle.

Is it not enough to just fuck

My parents OD'ed on cocaine in a motel bathtub on my 4th birthday and I turned out okay.

Fun Fact: If you go into a pharmacy in a country where zero people speak English, and make wild hand gestures near a child's butt crack while making faces at the pharmacy staff, they figure out what you mean remarkably quickly.

lie and cry through his squinty little foreskin eyes

A dude would not have mentioned that the penis-sized Dracula cape was "hand-stitched," even if it were.

Some urologists get a little spergy about wine color comparisons; sorry Dr. Oenophile but there's a difference between "rose" the color and "rosé" the drink, and have you met the staff here? Write an order to titrate CBI to Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill and you'll be getting somewhere.

I want to agree with the general sentiment that this is nature taking its course on retards, but there's a nagging feeling that social media and tiktok are dark magic we're just not prepared to handle as a species.

You may want context but I'm not giving you any.

Autistic and horny, got it.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

"Go, US military! Go out and coup to the extreme!"

 

[Spectate]

The man climbed the altar and "urinated under the stunned gaze of hundreds of tourists,"

 

[Aunt Carol]

The one good thing in that movie is where the alien dude is standing there with all the humans in the cages and their language to him is just monkey chattering noises.

I like it because that's how I feel in public sometimes.

"Jared Leto is just a normal looking man. He's no Weird Al Yankovic."

 

[Wright]

I do ruminate over the nature of "suck my dick" as an insult sometimes. What is the core of the affront? The homosexual act alone? The implication of oral rape? Or just the inherent submissiveness in giving a blowjob?

 

[mr. testicular torsion]

*channels inner Joshua Conner Moon* I FUCKING LOVE THE STATE OF ISRAEL

 

[Gentlebastard]

"I've only got any interest in you if there isn't a man in your life. But if you're desperate, you won't find another man as desperate as I am. I would love to start stalking you again."

Look, a quick jab to the face is just how some people say hello. Do not be a bigot and learn to respect the diverse array of cultures present in NYC.

The dying 90 lb pooner in a giant helmet and wheelchair is so kino. I can’t believe the times we’re living in.

Anyone who puts Tampico in anything at all has no business backtalking actual humans.

 

[SpellforceFan]

LITERALLY THE ONLY TIME I'VE SEEN AN AD FEATURING WHITE PEOPLE IS FOR A FUCKING GOLF COURSE BECAUSE THEY'RE SELLING YOU A NIGGER FREE EXPERIENCE

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

the furthest I’ll go in terms of guro is Gore Screaming Show (one of my favourite visual novels I’ve ever played).

That's way too much money to be paying someone to give their first BJ.

 

[Aunt Carol]

She must have really hated her husband and good son to tie this 400 lbs, shitting albatross around their collective necks.

There is, to borrow a term from female kiwis, the moid problem.

Verdict: fat and retarded, but not dying .