random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[SNEED.EXE]

the events are in the actual Internet, snow crash Metaverse, Johnny quest questworld, sword art online autism goon dome

 

[Kheapathic]

Hasan Pikeeeeer! I'm coming to free your dog! From your house, in Los Angeles!
I'm gonna become obsessed with her, and pet her, and take her on walkies, and give her treats, like a good dog owner does!

In light of the newest Hasan problem.

 

[Xarpho's Return]

my first kid thought nutella and peanut butter were poop from different kinds of squirrels and nuts for a really long time

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

Nigga I don't give a shit about your beliefs, you're lower than penis enlargement spam.

 

[vomitusdeux]

I did not read the rules, just wanted an excuse to post more furry porn.

This bitch is cooking in like 10 gallons of Walmart store-brand Sunny Delight!

This woman looks like a racist Mii some kid made as a joke:

Bitch did Steven Universe and Ed, Edd and Eddy yaoi.

Don't insult the Barbary pirates like that. They at least went out and worked/raided. The Roach does nothing but sit at home and shock his dog.

I can't believe LaBelle drew a 6'7" black man with a flipper hand arresting 4'3" white Mexican pooner Bobby hill.

 

[stares at error messages]

Every time I see 'LGBT' my brain's wordfilter reads 'faggot',

 

[Aunt Carol]

He got scammed by the egg tweet because his head is literally the shape of an egg.

"Let's go to Wal-Mart with Naruto"

You don’t marry the homosexual autistic manchild of a Saudi billionaire for romance.

 

[Uh Oh Stinky]

I long for the days when the weirdest thing online was people trying to have sex with cars.

Simpler, innocent times.

I want to go back and retroactively untake every drug I've ever done before after seeing this.

Fun Fact: If you go into a pharmacy in a country where zero people speak English, and make wild hand gestures near a child's butt crack while making faces at the pharmacy staff, they figure out what you mean remarkably quickly.

 

[Gentlebastard]

How dumb do you have to be to fail out of a diploma mill?

Dead festering bodies in the streets! Cities ablaze. Hotel beds UNMADE. Oh the humanity!

>> What's your first name?
>> Naquavia.

Too perfect.

Not depicted: their posting in French, for it is a silly language, or their suicide baiting.

I'm so tired of getting flashbanged by pages and pages of jeet content on youtube if I so much as miss a single letter in a search term. Why is their language made up entirely of typos?

I deeply enjoy his puffed chest, shoulders-leaning back, gunt-sucking stance.
Its like a fat saggy Peafowl with nipples protruding, very disrespectfully.

The temperature was a mild 68 degrees, but they were both wearing neck fans. That level of fat.

Oh god no don't throw down the gauntlet like that, not when the universe is actually paying attention!

The Pizza Wars conflict is escalating, these are dark times.

 

[Sneed Force One]

"I'M NOT FAT" he oinks fatly

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

Remember the first rule of based, it is not based until you see a White Father acting fatherly to his biological child with his wife also being White.

 

[BIG BILL HELL'S]

Masculine bovine character: Pisses on floor, shits on way out. Refuses to elaborate

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

OPENLY AUTISTIC
and black? well damn, consider yourself hired

Also, it turns out he has founded the Palestine Space Institute.

How dare they hinder this brave he/him black man in his dreams of launching all Palestinians into space

 

[a kiwifarms user]

It would appear 2026 will be putting the M into ILF, we've been through the bukkake/stepfamily

 

[Aunt Carol]

Sir, I just want a reasonably priced pizza. I don't want to know your takes on internet gossip.

You're a real hero. I'm laughing like a maniac during my poop breaks because of you.

(I’m looking for MEN with REAL PENISES)

 

[30+GameOvers]

Shitbulls are 4 legged niggers and niggers are 2 legged shitbulls.

 

[Kerr Avon]

The Caretaker was definitely a pedophile. You have a race that only lives nine years and the female Caretaker was a little girl. His array was the Epstein Island of the Delta Quadrant.

 

[Tablet County]

So many harmless lolcows do seem to have a history of victimizing food instead

 

[Pedophobe]

And once again, call me weird if you want. But I have no interest to stop loving the Wogglebug.

I was having a bad day and you all made it better.

All there is to do is point and laugh

 

[Meat Target]

Reading this made me want to hate crime everyone involved.