random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Syzyg]

Delete this.
@Null

 

[Hooked on phobics]

I saw a Japanese woman on the Internet shove a live eel up her butthole. That doesn't make it right.

Imagine if each of your testicles were stretched out, then encased in a sphere of armor. That's what boob armor is.

not merely a game with a three minute cut scene explaining how to apologise to a trans person for getting their pronouns wrong (ten press-ups, apparently), but this is a game where the trans companion witll literally die if people don't use his preferred pronouns.

 

[Big Nasty]

I willingly watched a big, naked, mentally ill black man oil up his ass cheeks and donger, which makes me feel gay and stupid.

On the internet, everyone has a 9 inch dick.

That's Big Daddy B's dick to you, slave.

 

[like_shutup_&_drive_scoob]

You are NOT invited to the KKK barbeque this weekend, mister

To win the younger voters, Kamala should post a Skibidi Toilet meme and promise to bring back the rizz

Dave Chappelle's line about "if slaves had baby oil and booty shorts" rings true.

So his marriage was irretrievably broken by his wife being fourteen years too old.

Fuck you, goose that lays golden eggs. I'm sick of looking at your stupid beaked face and your precious metal eggs worth thousands of dollars. You and I are done professionally. I'm all in on this pouch of magic beans now.

BREAKING: I've been told Null kissed Chris Chan on the lips -- and that there's a video

"Yeah so like anywaaay my dad works at Nintendooo~"

The October Surprise was the friends we made along the way.

Only rumor I've heard is that you're a colossal faggot.

I think it's important to be able to separate entertainment from the politics of its creators. Otherwise you go into the same insane purity spiral that shitlibs have for the last eight years where you disown all your friends and family and generally ruin your life over the rich guy who had a cameo in Home Alone.

She's like a stray cat - anyone who puts out a plate of cocaine and money and she thinks they'd adopted her.

THIS IS A STAGE 5 BALLDOVERSE COLLAPSE

QOVER CAPTAINS REPORT TO THE BRIDGE

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

WE NEED TO DEPLOY THE @Fapcop IMMEDIATELY

A sticker? In this economy? Shit I better vote twice

The plight of the small town pornographer.

"How Christian of you," said the man trying to send money to a Jamaican hooker so she can have an abortion.

Aaron, if you're reading this, what are your thoughts on Nick having memorized every curve, wrinkle and dimple of your penis?

CHAOS - Cuck Has Another Outstanding Suggestion.

 

[CEO of Gay]

I never miss a penis.

 

[neger psykolog]

a dozen different people on here can talk about a nigger's dick but a white man can't say anything about a woman? This place is almost as cucked as the contestants.

 

[Oliver Onions]

Luckily my dentist died shortly after that.

 

[FedPostalService]

Get back to work you lazy, keyboard molesting nigger.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

If I shouldnt hate people, I sure can hate a particular cultivar of tree.

Casually misgendering all of the Michigeese.

As a lawyer I would tell you to seek medical attention.

As a former military medic I would tell you to take two ibuprofen, drink water, change your socks, and everything should work out

Yes I did go in the oven and close the door to see if I could get out.

I'm not leaking too much so I think I'm okay for now.

What a terrible day to be literate.

Sadly, we both know it gets a lot, lot worse right before it gets better when your bowels have held that shit in for any period of time.

What on the actual fuck?

Null doesn't really read A&H, so you realize you've just posted an ad for cheese?

We’re like, the aol.com of online bullying.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I can't believe I, a lowly uneducated chud, knew more than the Sainted Experts yet again.

At least she got a free expensive vibrator out of it

Shiteater Jen is posting about what calibration lines he hits on his medical dildos, like a gym rat bragging about his reps.

He's going to staple that kid to the wall right about his katana and flintlock pistol.

Dear God, please let him go pro se, it would be so, so funny.

What the fuck is that image of a child with burn wounds from cheese?

Forget trying to figure out if it's male or female, I can't figure out what fucking genus that thing belongs to.

Did a morbidly obese black man troon out, or did he troon out and then become morbidly obese?
And what's wrong with me that I wonder things like that?

three hours downloading a 7 second avi from alt.sex.binaries only to find out it's a middle aged woman pushing three spanish onions out of her twat

This thread is routinely used as some sort of sewing circle for retards.

 

[Cnidarian]

My niece is like, seven or so and she was telling me how porn is a CIA plot

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I can take some screenshots later but it seems very tales from my anus.

Could you worthless faggots stop shitting up the thread with your sodomite slap fight?

Was she proud of being found dead in a dumpster?

Spending three hours downloading a 7 second avi from alt.sex.binaries only to find out it's a middle aged woman pushing three spanish onions out of her twat.

old internet porn really was like a box of chocolate

 

[Meat Target]

The ounce of crack was just for decoration. He was having an El Chapo themed party and decided to go all out on realism.

>Perhaps if I spam illegal content on the bald men with glasses website, I may finally become a real woman!

 

[Xarpho's Return]

"The healthiest people in America spend their time in recreation and parks, so we're shutting down the hospital's cancer ward and replacing it with an art museum."

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

What 2 decades of wokism does to a mf

 

[Cnidarian]

They have disgraced the name skibidi and must be drafted into the cosmic toilet war.

 

[Hitman One]

I'd fart Peanut to death just to proove you all wrong. Gas him in my butt gas chamber.

 

[Tablet County]

It's starting to feel like all the sex jokes are written by people who've never actually had sex before.

Have I ever told you all about my theory on Eric Trump? I've long speculated that, back in the 1980s during the peak of Trump's celebrity as a the icon of American business, he was chosen to be a subject for a pioneering human cloning experiment from one of Trump's Japanese business contacts. They accidentally left Eric in the tube too long, and the Trumpmunculus we see before us with an IQ of 86 is the result. Unmistakably Trump-esque, but with just a little something off about him in both looks, speech, and mannerisms. The lights are on but nobody's home. Perhaps some Gary Busey DNA got mixed in on accident. Like a Picasso painting of Trump. The scientists were initially going to dispose of the test subject, but Trump saw the toe-headed Frankenstein-esque baby before him and got attached to him as an extension of the thing he loves most, himself, and decided to pass Eric off as his son.

imagine a billhook grabbing you codpiece and yanking you down on your ass before stabbing you in the throat

"It wasn't rape, I just mistook her gaping, crevice of a vagina for a handhold".

alot of them are "neurodiverse" freaks to begin with so all the stuff they write for people who are supposed to be a bit outside the norm end up being unwieldly freak rapists

 

[stupid frog]

I have no mouth and I must fedpost.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

You and I have enjoyed prison before. You'll wait for the knock again. Xitter is a flat circle. The black pepperoni...