random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Tablet County]

ngl when I think "bullied sandnigger" I think "white whore posting her butthole on twitter" and not "big stinky bearded guy in a towel".

My 100% correct take is that the same thread getting made in mass debates over and over only proves that everyone likes to think about 17 year old girls having seccs, when they argue about it over and over again they get to think about 17 year old girls having seccs

Billions must die

I thought he was just being retarded about presenting proof, but maybe he was being really retarded about presenting proof.

 

[Dr. Butt]

So, let's all point and laugh.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Name me one female slug monster you jerk off to or shut up.

 

[Tablet County]

Sinuhe. It's about an ancient Egyptian man who has an autistic freakout and blows up his entire life. At the end of his life the Pharaoh asks him "Why did you do it?", and he basically says "I don't know, I was just being retarded."

 

[Oliver Onions]

Anyone can also get roped into dating an aspiring comedian at a vulnerable time in their life.

 

[Tablet County]

Cog realizes he is irrelevant and everyone hates him.

Nigger, you're jerking off. If that's not fun enough for you you need help.

You eat carrots with ketchup?

Apparently thr devs are busy banning on steam forums anyone who dares to ask for Russian voices in the game.

Maybe they would not get banned if they stopped going "Ukrainian is not a a real language, you are just fucking russians."

For the uninitiated, this is hilarious instead of disgusting because it's not happening around five children.

I don't know if it's possible to troll someone on duolingo but if it is Patposters will surely find a way.

 

[Lifeguard Hermit]

just have them do an STD test if you're not sure

 

[Useful_Mistake]

For reasons that are still not understood today, in the early hours of 30 April 2000 Steven Wallace became extremely angry.

http://www.nzlii.org/cgi-bin/sinodisp/nz/cases/NZHC/2021/1963.html

 

[Gentlebastard]

If you are unable to answer all of these questions, in detail, to your child then you have failed as a parent. Tolkien lore is as important as skills in mathematics and English when it comes to raising a well-balanced daughter or son.

Please tell the people starving to death in south sudan how horrible arophobia is

That did not occur. Questioning my reading of Dune is why your life is already over. Enjoy being sandworm food.

Looks like his self awareness also left him

Holy shit, get a life Troon.

Does elder abuse count as a snuff film?

Yoko Ono got it wrong. It turns out that troons are actually the nigger of the world.

His conscience is long gone and the only thing left are echoes of it. Like the suits in that dr who episode that go "hey, who turned off the lights"

“God all these men talk about and want is DICK and sex. Why are gay men so cock hungry and obsessed with dick?”
Who knows lil pooner, who knows.

This saves me the trouble of imagining the face of a cancer patient who eats only cancer

tl;dr You may think you are disgusted by trannies, but you aren't disgusted enough.

Spingle Cat tried to warn us but did we listen?

 

[Harm]

buddy, the wolf in question is purple with a green vagina and works in accounting

 

[Meat Target]

Maybe I'm just gay and poisoned by cultural marxism or whatever they're calling it this week but I believe that we're more than our appearances.

Of course, this is a drama site and the thunderdome set tends to be full of eugenecists, physiognomists, and phrenologists, so people's appearances are frequently used as a barometer for the content of someone's character.

 

[Tablet County]

Why didn't the last part make it in?

This all falls apart when you realize that King Cobra is a real stand-up guy, despite being a genetic abomination who looks like quasimodo.

 

[Peru oso donas]

There was a rumor that said famous rectum was in fact a vagina, but that was absolutely not true.

 

[DickMain]

DAMN THAT BOND NICE

 

[Hitman One]

He should be in jail for simply being A NIGGER.

 

[BirdUp]

My wife was getting irritated that I wasn't coming to bed so we promised on an Xbox

 

[Spunt]

It's stupid to get married cuz a couples income becomes one. My buddy and his "wife" never wanted to marry either so they can have more money and he on disability too cuz he had a stroke in May so now she gets paid to him help, does doordash with him, does some college admin thing, then gonna pretend to be my personal support worker so I get my free bus passes again and I basically have her get paid for nothin to have her be paid to hang out with my buddy n help my buddy out and we can nerd the fuck out together watching movies n cartoons. If there a huge LEGO set I get, he will happily build it for me like the creator ecto-1, delorean time machine, the titanic.

 

[Instant_Pot_User]

The truth is, there IS NO ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION its just the government creating Tesla owners

 

[JustSomeDong]

This is kiwifarms and we have a collective history and customs that new sisters like you might not be aware of. Off the top of my head, some of the cultural terms we have built up include: “us,” “she,” “nigger,” and “faggot.” You need to spend some time here and learn our culture before you can start trying to act as a janny. If you really want a crash course, I suggest dm’ing Dyn (tag removed because I didn’t receive consent before mentioning, just trying to protect my fellow sisters).

 

[Syzyg]

null this is your last chance i am giving you, okay???? i have sent multiple emails through different accounts but they’ve all been ignored so this is my last resort

null i am dead serious i have multiple means of dealing with you. i have two sets of grandparents one set retired cia agents. other set retired lawyers. i have my
moms husband too who is a highly trained green beret with a high kill count. DO NOT fuck with me joshua connor moon i have many ways of dealing with you