I'm not really an incel personally, although—if the eggheads who diagnosed me are to be believed—I am an "autist". I know how to get a certain kind of woman. I've been on a date or two to see if I could do it, and the lady was interested (sexually). All I could see was some guy's daughter. As far as mindset goes, I may as well be an alien. If we're not raising kids, what's the point?
Here's a question: how is a woman actually supposed to make you "less lonely"? Has anyone stopped to think about that? How is a woman supposed to make you less lonely in a way that a man can't? That sounds gay, but what I mean is that I'm actually not familiar with the emotions that you're supposed to feel when you're "not lonely" in some sort of romantic context. Hugs? Kisses? That's emotional warmth; emotional warmth isn't exclusively transferred through romantic gestures.
In my experience, "loneliness" is alleviated by being understood. It's the feeling when you're able to resonate with a person over some hidden part of your soul. That could be talking about your degenerate /trash/ level fetish psychology with like-minded reprobates, or it could be collaborating on some kind of creative project with someone who "gets it". I recommend the latter over the former. Am I saying that you should get a boyfriend and have AIDS together? No. What I am saying, though, is that if gays—the incestuous version of friendship—are having closer male relationships than you are, it means that you're doing something wrong.
Can men have that with women? From what I've read, it's possible in the context of a healthy relationship/marriage. Maybe it's possible in other areas in rare exceptions. It's by no means exclusive to women, though, and frankly I don't care to pursue it unless it becomes clear that I'm not called to celibacy (or strong enough for it). Women compel me through their shapes to be attracted to them, but that's about it. I can just lock my eyes onto a phone pole if they happen to jiggle-on-by, and it doesn't effect me.
The biggest difference between men and women is that if you ask a man why he had sex, he'll say "because I wanted to" or "I was attracted to her"; you know what I heard an actual woman say once, with my own two ears, when asked that same question? She said—and I'm not making this up—"I was lonely".
That is fundamentally not a male solution to that problem. If a man is lonely he takes his bros to McDonalds.
I'm not saying don't get a girlfriend or find a wife; I'm just saying that if that's not happening you don't need to lose your head. There are motivated forces who really want you to lose your head.
If you want to know the real reason why so many men aren't connecting with women, ask why almost all new younger converts to traditional Christian groups are men these days. The women converting are almost always the wives of men who took the initiative to get the family converted. The man is still ultimately the primary agency behind it.
I've got nothing against women, but I've got no idea what they're up to, and frankly at this point I'm not really losing sleep over it. If God wants me to have a wife it'll be possible. If it becomes clear that I'm not cut out for a monastic path, which I'm likely not considering my less than stellar track record of self-control, then I'll have to look for a steady woman. I'm not pining for one though.
For that other guy saying it's rougher for atheist incels,
atheism is a skill issue.
