Community Feature Submissions - Read OP before replying or you will be threadbanned.

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Wings007, failed troll of Wings of Redemption, DSP, and Cyraxx; wannabe wigger; internet tough guy; and successful dishwasher, and his British Discord e-whore, have filed privacy violation complaints against John John over the three hour-long documentary the latter made about him. Successfully mimicking Jeremy Hambly’s internet success strategy.

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Come discuss how being a flaggot incapable of accepting even a shred of criticism without accusing literally everyone who disagrees with him of being a pedophile is the ultimate masterstroke in the Kennel Kickers / Ranked Material thread.
 
The Democrat candidate for Texas Railroad Commissioner (running against Bo "100 million deportations isn't enough" French) said on a podcast in 2018 that he would have gotten naked at an "all-ages" Pride Parade if he wasn't overweight:
 
It is with great pain in my hands that I can tell you that one very important historical event of contemporary history has been extensively chronicled and preserved on the Kiwi Farms, by yours truly, in what is very likely the single longest KF post of all time.

Just recently, in the German state of Thuringia, the Judiciary Committee of the state legislature held a hearing. At that hearing, a proposal from the party The Left - the legal successor of the GDR's socialist uniparty - was discussed, namely to legally prohibit the right-wing populist AfD by the Federal Constitutional Court.
In the over-9-hours long public part of the hearing, several experts and "experts" testified before the committee. Since that day, the German media were entirely dominated by comedian and celebrity Hape Kerkeling's "testimony," claiming that the AfD would reinstate concentration camps if they were in power. And some Republicans have threatened sanctions against Germany, but who cares about that.

The entire hearing is available here, on the farms, transcribed, translated, and annotated by yours truly. There's a table of contents right at the start so you can jump to a particular expert witness if you like + I provided super abridged summaries + there's a poll where you can vote for the expert witnesses you thought were most convincing + as a bonus, I added two full interviews from two of the speakers on the day right after.

In my opinion, this really is a historical milestone in all of "Our Democracy"'s history. It really is nothing less than very desperate people flailing around helplessly, and one of the interviewees gets into detail why that is, most likely. Those politicians essentially conspired, for years, to all huddle around and exclude the AfD from everything, in an attempt to train voters that their AfD votes are wasted, unless the AfD gets 51% and they'll never get that. As of now, the AfD is the single strongest party in Germany.
  • For maximum cringe and minimum competence - really, the worst performance I've ever seen in my life - I personally recommend Cremer (German Institute for Human Rights).
  • For what has been dominating German news media ever since the day of the hearing, read the Kerkeling part.
  • For maximum dread and extreme BTFOing of The Left, read the Maaßen (former president of Germany's federal domestic intelligence agency) part.
  • For maximum entertainment and vitriol, to the point that they were just shy of throwing hands, read the Vosgerau part.

And now for the queer ones:



Hi, fellow democrats 🏳️‍🌈 ✊
The aforementioned hearing really mattered. Defending our democracy from the far right is not some impossible fantasy. Serious lawyers, constitutional scholars, human rights advocates and voices from civil society explained how democratic institutions can act, if only democrats have the courage to summon the political will.

  • I particularly recommend reading Chan-jo Jun, who makes the case to initiate prohibition proceedings with remarkable clarity.
  • Dr. Hendrik Cremer and the German Institute for Human Rights deserve enormous credit for centering human dignity, protecting queer and trans people, disabled people, and other marginalized communities.
  • Representing the Society for Civil Rights, Valentina Chiofalo explained how their team scientifically evaluated over 3 million data points to come up with an over 1700 pages long legal opinion according to which the AfD is nothing but completely hostile to our constitutional order.
  • Hape Kerkeling, of course, is very important. As the descendant of a victim of the far-right Nazis and as a tireless voice for democracy, he reminded everyone why "never again" must really mean "never again". Our Basic Law is and must be anti-fascist.
Civil society is ready, and the only thing we now need more than ever is the courage to defend our democracy with all means necessary.

 
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After seven days of ups and downs, the first season of Clavicular's Camp Looksmax has come to an abrupt and very anticlimactic end.



It turns out that what was initially advertised as a winner-takes-all competition eventually transformed into a series of individually rewarded challenges. Meaning there is no definitive winner.

This is what the website said October 1st, when the Camp started;

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Versus what it says today;

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Come discuss how black bull and friend of the site Burt Bronx (@burtbronx), by far the best part of the entire contest, was robbed of his clear victory in the Braden Peters / Clavicular thread.
 
Kidd Bandit, known only for doing terrible fake wrestling with Jim Sterling, has randomly announced he was fucking Zoe Quinn.

Also, if you haven't seen a picture of the big Literally Woo? at age 40, she looks fucking horrible. I don't think I could describe the "fat white trash whore" look better if I tried.
 
Preperations are being made to recall Governor Gianforte of Montana over his India first policy.
Montana only needs 80k signatures to recall the governor.

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For any Montanans out of the loop, now's your chance to put it in ink to the state that you want Total Pajeet Death. Governor Greg Gianforte (a Californian) has put his ass in the fire seeking to import infinijeets to what is likely one of the last red bastions of the US. Massive tax fraud is likely already occuring within Bozeman's Montana State University given its own influx of street shitters (some from Canada, of course).

Let any voting Montanans you might know that they can be put on a mailing list to petition Gianforte's recall.
 
Microsoft has lost the ability to sponsor permament residency for H-1Bs as punishment for laying off Americans and replacing them with H-1Bs:
Discuss above or in USPG2 or in The India Menace thread.
 
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After seemingly cashing out the estimated $250K crypto shortly before gameplay from a certain game premiered on Netflix, Cyberleek has returned with 24 minutes of new GTA 6 leaks and the crypto-polls are back in full swing.
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The second half of the video showcases a playable butt-ass naked Jason, complete with his swinging cock, even in cutscenes.
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Discuss in the GTA thread.
 
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Adobe is apparently eating super shit, since one guy in Georgia and a Chinese guy, with the help of Claude (Dear Feeder's personal butler) is making their entire suite open source based on Rust: Artcraft.

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Photoshop, Illustrator, Premiere, Lightroom, Acrobat, After Effects, InDesign. (this is your reminder to never touch the "join the discord" button)


This is all in early alpha, so be ware some features might be missing.

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I tried PhotoCraft and I'd say it's pretty solid. (totally not an excuse to poost a cute kiwi)

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Please go check these posts so this guy doesn't get any more angrier.

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We're bringing back the Salt Mine.

 
They're gonna fuckin live stream the firing squad execution of the Fort Hood shooter lmao

 
Two months later with thousands of Minnesota lawyers to choose from, they still haven't found anyone willing to take the case for any amount of money, so "Rekieta Law," an administratively dissolved small "law firm" in central Minnesota, will have to do.
Friend of the farms MNPublicRecords stops by to inform us that Kayla Rekieta was """unable""" (unwilling) to find a lawyer for her upcoming HRO case against her former lover Aaron Imholte and is going to be represented by her husband Nick Rekieta.

This was predicted from the start and is likely a way to save the Rekietas from spending their ever dwindling cash and potentially protect them from embarrassing subpoenas. Next hearing is set for October 21st.
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Woah there. Hang on.
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"She had zero health impact."

What had zero health impact, Nick?
The cocaine that you gave her?
Is this a slip up?

Because this rather sounds like you're defending giving her cocaine, as opposed to denying giving her cocaine..?

What a funny and weird horrifying way of putting things.
Nick also recently responded to a twitter troll with an odd statement many people are talking as a Freudian slip admission that his daughter ingested cocaine
 
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Major Poopsquatch happinings:
Andy Ditch wan away from the nursing home, was brought to the ER by police, threw a huge tantrum, is in the behavioral health unit, is being court ordered into the state hospital.
Edit: Andy has already left a Google review for the hospital:
 
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