I tried to go as long as possible without drinking after Cobes died, but I only lasted a few days. I keep telling myself it's okay because I take days off with no withdrawals, but my health is just destroyed. I'm already fat with asthma, and sleep all day when I'm hungover on days off. I really need to find a way to stop or drastically cut back sometime soon.
I don't want to try medicine for multiple reasons. I know I can do it, I feel disappointed in myself and know I have a problem, so I'm at least a step ahead the random drunk hobo doing anything for rotgut liquor. But I also know I'm probably not far away from that. It's a very (ironically) sobering feeling. Hopefully I can use this feeling to push me in the right direction.