I go a month or so, I get these intrusive thoughts, well I deserve a little sip, then it turns into three days, I end up calling my dad slurs at 3am because I end up angry. It fucking sucks brothers, I'm trying to change because I've lost everyone from burned bridges. I used to be such a merry drunk, it used to make me happy. Now I have AA on my phone and I'm trying to walk to it twice a week but I get discouraged because I can't keep it straight. I can't make any friends in my group, it just doesn't seem to connect, Proverbs 23:20 keeps me up at night. Please be strong and also pray for me. He didn't die for this and just because I know he'll forgive me doesn't make it right.