Why is Ralph moving? -- Speculation - Poll included

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Reasons why

  • He is hood rich and wants to move it on up

  • Scared after a seemingly legit threat from a deranged person

  • Tired of people leaving corn cobs in his yard

  • May is divorcing him so he needs to downsize

  • To own the ayylawgs

  • He is not gonna move and this is kayfabe

Results are only viewable after voting.
My top theories is that he's either too broke to continue renting a full house and is going to get a studio or something, or he's being kicked out by the landlord because either the landlord is pissed or the neighbors are pissed.
 
I reckon, if present, the Homo Nerds Association is tired of him acting like a fucking wigger and keep slapping him with fines
 
Genuinely? Ralph probably can see the writing on the wall with the people leaving corn in his yard. There's going to come a point where he'll become the American Drachenlord and get people visiting his house to get a rise out of him, and he's guaranteed to give you one. Just a matter of time until people catch on and start paying the Gunt Bunker a visit.

I also like to believe he cares at least a little about May and his kid and wants to protect them from that. That's pure optimism though. We all know this is an ego thing.
 
Maybe the majestic Ralphamale has finally decided to go forth and build his homestead on the 26 acres of rotting, stinking swampland that he inherited. It's there he will finally construct the Hall of Doom and assemble the Legion members for his ultimate plan to once and for all eliminate Metokurman.
 
Bryan Dunn said:
Hes still bragging about his new place while staring at his phone driving on a highway. This fattie is gonna mow down some people. He has to read kiwifarms regardless of if hes driving lol.

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He has no neck.
250lbs, lol.
 
Lorne Armstrong said:
Because Ronnie’s crack shack is in West Memphis. The town Gunt went to school in, and got bullied so hard that Mama had to pull him out of school and send him to private school. There is no Catholic high school in West Memphis though, so he had to go back into public school for High School and he got bullied so hard in High School that he dropped out in order to escape.

I’d guess that most of the people he went to school with still live in West Memphis. The Ralphamale act doesn’t work on folks who remember making Ethan lick dog shit back in High School.
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That and the house likely needs renovations he isn't capable of doing, so he'd have to pay a pile of money just to make it livable.
 
SupremeGuntleman said:
That and the house likely needs renovations he isn't capable of doing, so he'd have to pay a pile of money just to make it livable.
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Quite possible, but at $1500-$2k per month rent, I’d be living in it as I fixed it up, no matter how bad off it was. Plus, although there’s no way Gunt could ever obtain a mortgage, I’d bet he’d have no problem getting some equity out of Ronnie’s house in the form of a home improvement loan and then using that money to fix the place up. The payments on that plus taxes would still be cheaper than the $1500-$2k per month in rent he pays.
 
He's moving because he knows if he has a fat guy heart attack in his current house the fire department will have to bust down a wall to get him out of there. It's best for him to choose something like a barn with massive doors, something optimal for himself and his horse.
 
SupremeGuntleman said:
That and the house likely needs renovations he isn't capable of doing, so he'd have to pay a pile of money just to make it livable.
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Implying he cares if it’s unlivable. As long as he can get wifi to stream and a window AC unit he’s fine baby. No running water or working toilet gonna keep the Ralphamale down.
 
BooneHelm said:
He's moving because he knows if he has a fat guy heart attack in his current house the fire department will have to bust down a wall to get him out of there. It's best for him to choose something like a barn with massive doors, something optimal for himself and his horse.
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Good point, the new place will need accessibility.
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Ethan Ralph is moving to get away from Slenderman and the whole Kill Stream saga was just a giant Marble Hornets sequel ARG.
 
The ol’ hillbilly belief that Mexico is just the cool kids’ basement for law-unabiding Americans?
 
I don't understand the ayylawgs that think this fat fuck is poor or is broke, over the past year he has demonstrated the opposite of broke, he wrecked his car and financed a new one right away, he has traveled to europe 2 times in 6 months and has went to Las Vegas, Atlantic city and DC on several occasions. Dude is financially equipped to pay rent. Now will he continue to have throw away cash in the future tune into find out, once the guy stops traveling and just runs his show maybe you can call him out on his money situation. I really do not think he is poor because he can make a better living then I can and I am above par in earnings.
 
Lorne Armstrong said:
The Ralphamale act doesn’t work on folks who remember making Ethan lick dog shit back in High School.
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make?
Bryan Dunn said:
Lol this fat ass is driving to DC while discussing where he is gonna move by looking at his phone and going off the road constantly. Why hasnt anyone called the state troopers on him yet with his tag? He’s literally breaking the law and putting people in danger. Idk what highway hes on but if you do know you can call the state troopers in that area about his reckless endangerment while streaming.
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seriously his mouth is tiny and puckered. it looks almost exactly like an asshole
Disheveled Human said:
I don't understand the ayylawgs that think this fat fuck is poor or is broke, over the past year he has demonstrated the opposite of broke, he wrecked his car and financed a new one right away, he has traveled to europe 2 times in 6 months and has went to Las Vegas, Atlantic city and DC on several occasions. Dude is financially equipped to pay rent. Now will he continue to have throw away cash in the future tune into find out, once the guy stops traveling and just runs his show maybe you can call him out on his money situation.
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responses like this are in large part why ralph does those things. ralph has the savings and some paypig backing to get some wigger shit and some trips, thats about it, if you live in a literal child molester filled violent ghetto and your family lives off your scraps from your bad decisions and murses youre not doing well with money, i mean ffs if you want to talk about observable finances he went from a big one time 900 dollar murse to a 100 iirc when that was stolen and now hes down to a cheap 20 dollar walmart bag. what does that say about his finances? broke ass wigger who can make a big dumb purchase at the expanse of all the practical boring adult shit. you also forget hes racking up debt buying all this shit on his gf's credit card. how many wealthy people you know forced to do that for mid sized one time purchases that he flexes as the ultimate rich shit like murses.
 
Disheveled Human said:
I really do not think he is poor because he can make a better living then I can and I am above par in earnings.
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I feel sorry for you if you think Ralph is living it up. Ralph probably isn't paying taxes and balked at paying $1100 a month in child support.
Maybe less time on the farms and more time investing in your career would be a smart move for you?
 
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