Virginity & Society - how virginity effects the social lives of people

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are you a virgin?


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    415
I've had deeply meaningful sex with people I had a connection with and I've had awesome sex with really hot sorta-friends. I'd recommend against neither.
Do the deed with whoever you like, man, just don't wind up one of those weird fags who talks about femoids and chads.

r/poly would indicate that "just do whatever" doesn't hold that much water.
 
I don't believe any of you, you're all virgins and you're all going in the volcano like ido said
 
Just get a few hookers. Don't be overly nice to them
This is an important piece of advice another friend of mine gave me. Get a few whores to get some traction going and you will see how easy going it gets. Plus, you can try a few more things with them. At first i was going to go for hookers because of pure despair, but now it might be more good than bad.
If you can’t deal with this kind of mundane disappointment in life with some kind of composure then what it going to happen when life inevitably drops a real tragedy in your lap?
Something bad a lot of people do is to go all positivity and sunshine all around and then when the most minute amount of shit goes down they get crushed. There is something a friend of mine tells me that it's a bad habit that i took that is to assume the worst situation possible every time i do something. As you can expect it has made me horribly pessimistic and that obviously puts off everyone because you don't want to be around someone that doesn't want to talk to someone because he expects to be rejected an insulted the moment he opens his mouth. A middle of the road situation might be the best way possible: get used to disaster and gloom, but don't forget you can do it nonetheless.
So yes, I deserve a little shit for it, it's fine, I can take it, but my general point is I don't understand why it's such an 800 pound gorilla, why people will literally judge a person's entire worth as a human being on whether they've had sex at least once, why is it that important to people? That's what I don't understand and agree with, it's important but it's not so important as to be the litmus test for the entire value of a human being.
I think i already said it in another thread, but it's as if some people see it as "you didn't managed to accomplish a basic human thing" and therefore you are a failure as a person. If it's not that, then i don't get it.
But judgemental people exist absolutely everywhere. I will go a little bit powerlevel here: Recently at work i got 2 new coworkers, a taiwanese girl (let's call her M) and a south american girl (call her N). One day as i came back from shopping they were talking about life experiences and suddenly they asked me if i was a virgin and if i had a girlfriend. I answered yes to both to which both of them were incredibly surprised and assumed i was lying, but i told them the whole story and suddenly N told M "If even he could do it so can you". I never got much shit for this but that was quite fucking low tbh.
In my opinion, be always truthful but don't take shit from anyone. You shouldn't care if anyone berates you for being a virgin because in the end they don't matter for shit and you shouldn't care too much what others think about you.
Another thing to keep in mind is that you need to know your crowd. Choose someone with commonalities to you.
Most important piece of advice. You want a long lasting relationship, always find common ground with another person and build from there. Getting laid is easy, but having a proper relationship is hard as fuck.
 
Look, I made the post you're responding to two years ago, but it still holds true.
There is a kind of sex you had because you both had a good night and there's a kind of sex you have with someone you're feeling a long term deal with.
Neither of the above are wrong or improper. Sometimes, you're just looking for a good Friday night, and sometimes you're looking for something with a long term potential, and neither of the above are a problem.
The point here is that there's different kinds of deals for different things you're looking for at a given time.
Emotional sex and physical sex are both aspects of adult life. Do your thing, man. Ain't no shame in either.

I've had deeply meaningful sex with people I had a connection with and I've had awesome sex with really hot sorta-friends. I'd recommend against neither.
Do the deed with whoever you like, man, just don't wind up one of those weird fags who talks about femoids and chads.

Edit:
Legit, if you got someone who want the dick and you wanna give them the dick, go ahead and do that. People overcomplicate this shit. Just don't wander in here talking about how you're gonna "looksmax" your "gymcel" or whatever and you're probably fine. To be frank, you live in the era of Tinder and social media, it's never been easier to get laid. Just do your thing and don't be a creep, man.

You can understand the gymcel talking point, though, because in the game of sex, most men won't get a pick unless they're rapists or higher status/lots of cash (Ronaldo, for example). They figure the quickest way to raise stock is by getting buff/in shape, which can help attain a status. Most women will take the easiest road that will offer the best route to victimization and monetary/status gain, so it's all reward and no risk in their eyes, not just in relationships, but for casual sex as well. Hence, the second shit gets broken off, you are the bad guy and everyone consoles her. Plus, it isn't profitable for a dude to brag about old lays/dates in public (Moby, for example), yet many women have made careers out of gossiping about dudes they've fucked/dated (Superhead, for example).
 
To add to my last post: if you go the game way, remember that you have no obligation to come or make her come in one night stands. They are there for the fun of it. Sex is fun despite coming, because it is sex. It is a pleasurable activity.

When you do come, it is aces, but honestly? No strings attached sex also means NO OBLIGATION TO PLEASE EITHER PARTY SEX.

Just remember we live in difficult times where regret sex equals accusations of rape that are utterly false.
 
In regards to the stigma of virgin men vs virgin women, it really boils down to a manifestation of basic primal instincts.

With males, the goal is to impregnate multiple females and spread their genes as widely as possible before death to maximize their chance of a bloodline and legacy. With women, the goal is to take time to find and maintain a stable relationship to properly nurture their offspring to give them the best chance at a good life so they can go on to do the same when they start their own families.

Essentially both sides have an incongruity problem at a base level of what each wants out of the opposite sex, and sure enough this crops up in modern day culture with the double standards regarding who hasn't had sex yet.
 
we live in difficult times where regret sex equals accusations of rape that are utterly false.
Or even less. One time when i was in college one chick in my dorm came horribly late at night crying her eyes out and told me she was raped. I reacted as expected and asked her if she wanted me to call the police or get her something but she just wanted to go to her room. Two days later i asked about it and she told me that she wasn't raped, she was just so fucking drunk and high she didn't knew where she was and when a guy took her out of the place she was partying because she was about to collapse, she though he assaulted her and raped her.
 
Or even less. One time when i was in college one chick in my dorm came horribly late at night crying her eyes out and told me she was raped. I reacted as expected and asked her if she wanted me to call the police or get her something but she just wanted to go to her room. Two days later i asked about it and she told me that she wasn't raped, she was just so fucking drunk and high she didn't knew where she was and when a guy took her out of the place she was partying because she was about to collapse, she though he assaulted her and raped her.

Of course! Still completely clothed, no soreness in certain areas, no bruises or welts, clearly she was raped. Fucking drunk chicks.
 
Of course! Still completely clothed, no soreness in certain areas, no bruises or welts, clearly she was raped. Fucking drunk chicks.
You might think that even avoiding drunk chicks might save you, but remember the story about the guy that helped a woman with a flat tire on the road and she accused him of sexually assaulting her and he had to go through the process of proving he didn't. Thank god there was a video camera there.

And you might say that "It's only one crazy bitch" and i know she's just one. But would you still take the chance knowing that it might ruin your life? This is why it's important to know how to dodge the bullet and keep to yourself in most cases.
 
Oh no I agree for the most
My Pa was a policeman way back in the day and he said that even in the 1960s (and beyond), the vast majority of the rape accusations they'd get would turn out to be bogus. It really soured him on women, made it so that now he automatically assumes any rape claim is fake.
The vast majority? Are you certain?
 
I spend a lot of my work time with women and I must confess I find the female mind kinda fascinating apart from the other stuff. But I would say that female virginity is not highly esteemed among many of the women I work with. These gals all have college degrees, some quite advanced ones (MA, Ph.D) and none look like the back of a bus. They are very selective about their liaisons. And they feel sorry for boys who can't get laid but who are say, shy but otherwise OK and actually try to hook them up with gals who might be interested.
Anyway, I think that virginity has far too much value place on it - whether retaining it or losing it.
 
In regards to the stigma of virgin men vs virgin women, it really boils down to a manifestation of basic primal instincts.

With males, the goal is to impregnate multiple females and spread their genes as widely as possible before death to maximize their chance of a bloodline and legacy. With women, the goal is to take time to find and maintain a stable relationship to properly nurture their offspring to give them the best chance at a good life so they can go on to do the same when they start their own families.

Essentially both sides have an incongruity problem at a base level of what each wants out of the opposite sex, and sure enough this crops up in modern day culture with the double standards regarding who hasn't had sex yet.
There's an essence of truth to this, but you've basterdized it beyond being truthful. It also ignores the difference between high status and low status males, as well as ignoring the dual mating strategy in women.
 
Woman here: I'm not a virgin but I haven't had such contact with anyone in years. The unavailability of physical pleasure doesn't bother me, it's a series of physical sensations that end in an orgasm; something I can achieve easily alone.

As for the emotional aspect, it would be nice to experience but the person I'd like to share it with is unavailable, will very likely never be available and I haven't managed to move past them yet.

As for my perspective on society's attitude towards it: Sod them - to hell with the showeroom banter, to hell with the whispers and giggles shared amongst those when they gossip about the peer who hasn't experienced it; their guffaws are largely inconsequential.

Focus on doing something else that makes you feel proud, something else that will draw awe and respect from those around you, something that will make you grow and change. Granted, sexual encounters may do this to a person but they are not the only triggers of self-betterment. Sex is not the only way to attain a hit of dopamine or oxytocin.

Tl;dr: You do you (quite literally, if necessary) and bugger anyone else (not literally) if they pity or mock you for it. Life is too short and the world is too finite to obssess over who's humping who.
 
There's an essence of truth to this, but you've basterdized it beyond being truthful. It also ignores the difference between high status and low status males, as well as ignoring the dual mating strategy in women.
816952
 
Woman here: I'm not a virgin but I haven't had such contact with anyone in years. The unavailability of physical pleasure doesn't bother me, it's a series of physical sensations that end in an orgasm; something I can achieve easily alone.

As for the emotional aspect, it would be nice to experience but the person I'd like to share it with is unavailable, will very likely never be available and I haven't managed to move past them yet.

As for my perspective on society's attitude towards it: Sod them - to hell with the showeroom banter, to hell with the whispers and giggles shared amongst those when they gossip about the peer who hasn't experienced it; their guffaws are largely inconsequential.

Focus on doing something else that makes you feel proud, something else that will draw awe and respect from those around you, something that will make you grow and change. Granted, sexual encounters may do this to a person but they are not the only triggers of self-betterment. Sex is not the only way to attain a hit of dopamine or oxytocin.

Tl;dr: You do you (quite literally, if necessary) and bugger anyone else (not literally) if they pity or mock you for it. Life is too short and the world is too finite to obssess over who's humping who.
I haven't had any intimate contact with anyone in 10 years so far and at this point masturbation for me has become something i do out of boredom rather than pleasure.

On the emotional aspect, i also yearn to find someone to share those moments but i know that in this world there is no woman that will ever bear with me. Let alone love me, so i've made up my mind about being alone and it's something i don't regret.

Any sensible person should focus on anything else except crotch pleasure because it's far more important to a person rather than how many people you have boned/boned you. Travelling, jobs, silly stuff, interests... But the interest to know your pee pee history will always be there for some people and i don't get why so many value it that much. It's not like it's a very interesting story unless something interesting happened during the act.

Overall, you shouldn't give much fucks about what others think about you shagging others. Or what they think about many private things you do
 
I haven't had any intimate contact with anyone in 10 years so far and at this point masturbation for me has become something i do out of boredom rather than pleasure.

On the emotional aspect, i also yearn to find someone to share those moments but i know that in this world there is no woman that will ever bear with me. Let alone love me, so i've made up my mind about being alone and it's something i don't regret.

Any sensible person should focus on anything else except crotch pleasure because it's far more important to a person rather than how many people you have boned/boned you. Travelling, jobs, silly stuff, interests... But the interest to know your pee pee history will always be there for some people and i don't get why so many value it that much. It's not like it's a very interesting story unless something interesting happened during the act.

Overall, you shouldn't give much fucks about what others think about you shagging others. Or what they think about many private things you do
Uh wut?

Pee pee history???
 
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