Virginity & Society - how virginity effects the social lives of people

[NN 401]

And the 14% uncomfortable with admitting it.



So you want a sexless relationship? You just called sex gross. I assume you don't masturbate either.
And I think very few people 'undertake corrupt of manipulative measures' to get sex. You either have disgusting friends or you're just assuming while you have zero life experience.



The cold reality is that your mounting desperation (It's there whether you realize it is or not) is setting you up for heartbreak with a slut. Your lack of sexual experience speaks to a lack of romantic and even social maturity. No normal woman will want to be with you. People can sense that you're weird or different in other ways. Really the only person that will settle for you in that case would be a weird slut that will cheat on you at any opportunity.

Just get a few hookers. Don't be overly nice to them. Get used to sex so that when you're in a position to have it with a normal girl that you have feelings for, you don't sperg yourself out of the opportunity.

Going to splice the most salient point in here for the ADD crowd.

It is the “mounting desperation” that is going turn everyone off not the virginity part.

In the back of her head the woman is always going to wonder if you like her for who she is or only because you couldn’t get anyone else.


After reading all the incle shit here and elsewhere it is the lack of grace with which these people deal with their misfortune (of any kind) that makes everyone lose sympathy for them.

It makes men, women or whoever look a million times more unattractive when they lash out everyone around them or act squirrely trying to attain the one thing they think will complete them.

If you can’t deal with this kind of mundane disappointment in life with some kind of composure then what it going to happen when life inevitably drops a real tragedy in your lap?

 

[Autocrat]

After reading all the incle shit here and elsewhere it is the lack of grace with which these people deal with their misfortune (of any kind) that makes everyone lose sympathy for them.

It makes men, women or whoever look a million times more unattractive when they lash out everyone around them or act squirrely trying to attain the one thing they think will complete them.

If you can’t deal with this kind of mundane disappointment in life with some kind of composure then what it going to happen when life inevitably drops a real tragedy in your lap?

I also mean desperation in a more benevolent sense. Even if the woman doesn't know he's a virgin, and even if he's not bitter, or thirsty. There is just something different about a guy with options or at least a history vs a guy with none. You will act less attractive than if you were otherwise sexually, socially, and romantically fulfilled (from a recent breakup or a woman you were recently or are currently dating).

 

[Scratch This Nut]

I also mean desperation in a more benevolent sense. Even if the woman doesn't know he's a virgin, and even if he's not bitter, or thirsty. There is just something different about a guy with options or at least a history vs a guy with none. You will act less attractive than if you were otherwise sexually, socially, and romantically fulfilled (from a recent breakup or a woman you were recently or are currently dating).

Oh like you or anyone else on the farms is socially developed enough to understand the nuances of sexual relationships.

 

[Dom Cruise]

And the 14% uncomfortable with admitting it.



So you want a sexless relationship? You just called sex gross. I assume you don't masturbate either.
And I think very few people 'undertake corrupt of manipulative measures' to get sex. You either have disgusting friends or you're just assuming while you have zero life experience.



The cold reality is that your mounting desperation (It's there whether you realize it is or not) is setting you up for heartbreak with a slut. Your lack of sexual experience speaks to a lack of romantic and even social maturity. No normal woman will want to be with you. People can sense that you're weird or different in other ways. Really the only person that will settle for you in that case would be a weird slut that will cheat on you at any opportunity.

Just get a few hookers. Don't be overly nice to them. Get used to sex so that when you're in a position to have it with a normal girl that you have feelings for, you don't sperg yourself out of the opportunity.

Alright, thanks for the advice, I appreciate it, you make a very good point that maybe I should get past the awkward "losing it" phase with some hookers before a serious relationship.

But you're being a little presumptuous about me if you think I'm the kind of guy to be "overly nice" to a hooker and to think I'm gullible enough to get with a slut and act surprised when they... act like a slut, heh, I'm smarter than that at least.

I could have done better and should have lost it at the age when most people lose it, let me clear though, I tried, I dated, maybe I didn't try hard enough, but it's not like I didn't try at all.

Just trust me though when I say that if I told you my life's story it would make sense why things played out the way they did, that is why people shouldn't be so damn presumptuous when someone says they're a virgin, you don't always know the story.

So yes, I deserve a little shit for it, it's fine, I can take it, but my general point is I don't understand why it's such an 800 pound gorilla, why people will literally judge a person's entire worth as a human being on whether they've had sex at least once, why is it that important to people? That's what I don't understand and agree with, it's important but it's not so important as to be the litmus test for the entire value of a human being.

Going to splice the most salient point in here for the ADD crowd.

It is the “mounting desperation” that is going turn everyone off not the virginity part.

In the back of her head the woman is always going to wonder if you like her for who she is or only because you couldn’t get anyone else.


After reading all the incle shit here and elsewhere it is the lack of grace with which these people deal with their misfortune (of any kind) that makes everyone lose sympathy for them.

It makes men, women or whoever look a million times more unattractive when they lash out everyone around them or act squirrely trying to attain the one thing they think will complete them.

If you can’t deal with this kind of mundane disappointment in life with some kind of composure then what it going to happen when life inevitably drops a real tragedy in your lap?

I agree with you, that desperation is going to be a turn off to people, acting squirrely is going to be a turn off, that's not me, I don't think sex will "complete" me and I'm not that desperate.

In fact the lack of desperation is part of why I have yet to lose it, because I never felt like I just had to lose it with just anyone.

I deal with it with the best composure I can.

 

[Black Waltz]

Alright, thanks for the advice, I appreciate it, you make a very good point that maybe I should get past the awkward "losing it" phase with some hookers before a serious relationship.

But you're being a little presumptuous about me if you think I'm the kind of guy to be "overly nice" to a hooker and to think I'm gullible enough to get with a slut and act surprised when they... act like a slut, heh, I'm smarter than that at least.

I could have done better and should have lost it at the age when most people lose it, let me clear though, I tried, I dated, maybe I didn't try hard enough, but it's not like I didn't try at all.

Just trust me though when I say that if I told you my life's story it would make sense why things played out the way they did, that is why people shouldn't be so damn presumptuous when someone says they're a virgin, you don't always know the story.

So yes, I deserve a little shit for it, it's fine, I can take it, but my general point is I don't understand why it's such an 800 pound gorilla, why people will literally judge a person's entire worth as a human being on whether they've had sex at least once, why is it that important to people? That's what I don't understand and agree with, it's important but it's not so important as to be the litmus test for the entire value of a human being.



I agree with you, that desperation is going to be a turn off to people, acting squirrely is going to be a turn off, that's not me, I don't think sex will "complete" me and I'm not that desperate.

In fact the lack of desperation is part of why I have yet to lose it, because I never felt like I just had to lose it with just anyone.

I deal with it with the best composure I can.

good for you I guess, you don't really need to write an essay about it tho

 

[Sīn the Moon Daddy]

Oh like you or anyone else on the farms is socially developed enough to understand the nuances of sexual relationships.

I put my floppy doodle in the moist hole and only occasionally the smelly hole

fin

 

[kadoink]

Wizard farms ;P

 

[Autocrat]

But you're being a little presumptuous about me if you think I'm gullible enough to get with a slut and act surprised when they... act like a slut, heh, I'm smarter than that at least.

That's exactly what I think, and I'm not being presumptuous. I'm being realistic. She'll tell you she isn't a slut, and you'll want to believe. She is your only option for intimacy and you will be obsessed with her to some degree. You'll become blind to the red flags. It's a structural thing.
Unless your life is otherwise going great, that is just the type of woman that will find her fit in your life. And because you have no one else - no old, ongoing, or new fling to call when you're unhappy with this woman - that's how you'll react.

 

[Overcast]

Sex is gross and inspires many to undertake corrupt or manipulative measures to get it.
I don't care about missing out on that.
What I do wish, more than anything, is to have emotional and affectionate closeness.
For some, that comes as a side effect of sexual behaviors,
But I want more than that. Sex isn't for me. Losing myself in her eyes is for me.

Like, I sympathize with you dude, but sex is pretty much the lynchpin in the whole deal.

 

[NN 401]

Alright, thanks for the advice, I appreciate it, you make a very good point that maybe I should get past the awkward "losing it" phase with some hookers before a serious relationship.

But you're being a little presumptuous about me if you think I'm the kind of guy to be "overly nice" to a hooker and to think I'm gullible enough to get with a slut and act surprised when they... act like a slut, heh, I'm smarter than that at least.

I could have done better and should have lost it at the age when most people lose it, let me clear though, I tried, I dated, maybe I didn't try hard enough, but it's not like I didn't try at all.

Just trust me though when I say that if I told you my life's story it would make sense why things played out the way they did, that is why people shouldn't be so damn presumptuous when someone says they're a virgin, you don't always know the story.

So yes, I deserve a little shit for it, it's fine, I can take it, but my general point is I don't understand why it's such an 800 pound gorilla, why people will literally judge a person's entire worth as a human being on whether they've had sex at least once, why is it that important to people? That's what I don't understand and agree with, it's important but it's not so important as to be the litmus test for the entire value of a human being.



I agree with you, that desperation is going to be a turn off to people, acting squirrely is going to be a turn off, that's not me, I don't think sex will "complete" me and I'm not that desperate.

In fact the lack of desperation is part of why I have yet to lose it, because I never felt like I just had to lose it with just anyone.

I deal with it with the best composure I can.

Right.

But you’re anticipating rejection which hasn’t happened, yet.

Don’t.

It’s a colossal waste of energy.
At the same time don’t be surprised by ignorance or mean spiritedness.


You’re going to have to find the middle path between those two mindsets.

Even if you had had sex rejection is always going to be there for whatever reason, by the way.


Not everyone is going to like you like that. And they’re not supposed to in the grand scheme of things.


FYI:

There are always women with religious or conservative upbringing.

People give them shit for not being “cool girls,” but at least they aren’t on their third baby daddy.

 

[NN 401]

I also mean desperation in a more benevolent sense. Even if the woman doesn't know he's a virgin, and even if he's not bitter, or thirsty. There is just something different about a guy with options or at least a history vs a guy with none. You will act less attractive than if you were otherwise sexually, socially, and romantically fulfilled (from a recent breakup or a woman you were recently or are currently dating).

I understand what you are saying but none of us have perfect circumstances or even good circumstances.

:/

He has to play the best game he can with the hand he’s been dealt/has ended up with.

We all should, ideally, acknowledge our blind spots and vulnerabilities without fixating on them.

This isn’t an easy balance to strike.

And I would say sleeping with a hooker is not going to patch up his insecurities and might make things far worse.

 

[ElAbominacion]

Sleeping with a hooker will teach him compartmentalized engagement.

It's necessary for a man to be detached from his fears when the moment comes.

Further, if he approaches a woman from a mindset he can just buy the company of another if things go awry, he'll be more successful. Knowing you have options works out great.

Another thing to keep in mind is that you need to know your crowd. Choose someone with commonalities to you.

 

[NN 401]

Sleeping with a hooker will teach him compartmentalized engagement.

It's necessary for a man to be detached from his fears when the moment comes.

Further, if he approaches a woman from a mindset he can just buy the company of another if things go awry, he'll be more successful. Knowing you have options works out great.

Another thing to keep in mind is that you need to know your crowd. Choose someone with commonalities to you.

Enkidu and Gilgamesh much?


An escort will just sniff out any vulnerability and turn a man into a long term mark.

It’s what they do for a living.

Never mind the far higher risk of STDs. And the risks of bringing a strange woman home period (murder, robbery).

And you just inadvertently revealed my biggest misgivings about these kind of things.

It’s easy to buy sex and retreat into buying affection. It’s a crutch.


Tangent:

For all the shrieking that the man o sphere does about getting the sex, having the sex, wanting the sex they’re all fixated on “winning” a woman over.

Because deep down we all want validation from the opposite sex, an earned validation that’s real.

 

[Manah]

Really, people give way too much of a shit about things that don't effect them.

There's probably someone out there with a similar opinion on sex as you, whatever that opinion is.

e: deep thots.

 

[V0dka]

If you find you're not enjoying sex, consider switching partners. Lots of people, particularly those with less experience, think they just don't enjoy sex, when in reality they just haven't had good sex yet.
It's supposed to be fun, you joyless shits. Get out there and party.

What I find interesting is that how some people view sex as a physical act of an emotional bond, while others see it as a recreational activity like air hockey. They have no link between sex and emotion. Some girls might go "Hey thanks for the night out, that was fun, as a favor, I will suck your dick/fuck you" like it's a free back massage. And guys think that way too and are like "Hey I took you out, as a favor, suck my dick/fuck me"

And if two people of different approaches to sex interact, you see them get noticeably confused as they don't understand each other

"You want to fuck? You like me that much?"

"No, it's just my way of saying thanks for a great night out"

"What?"

 

[Sīn the Moon Daddy]

My usual advice is to take up a hobby that women enjoy and get a haircut.

What I find interesting is that how some people view sex as a physical act of an emotional bond, while others see it as a recreational activity like air hockey. They have no link between sex and emotion. Some girls might go "Hey thanks for the night out, that was fun, as a favor, I will suck your dick/fuck you" like it's a free back massage. And guys think that way too and are like "Hey I took you out, as a favor, suck my dick/fuck me"

And if two people of different approaches to sex interact, you see them get noticeably confused as they don't understand each other

"You want to fuck? You like me that much?"

"No, it's just my way of saying thanks for a great night out"

"What?"

"I just wanted to suck your cock, I don't want a relationship you weirdo."

 

[Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.]

What I find interesting is that how some people view sex as a physical act of an emotional bond, while others see it as a recreational activity like air hockey. They have no link between sex and emotion. Some girls might go "Hey thanks for the night out, that was fun, as a favor, I will suck your dick/fuck you" like it's a free back massage. And guys think that way too and are like "Hey I took you out, as a favor, suck my dick/fuck me"

And if two people of different approaches to sex interact, you see them get noticeably confused as they don't understand each other

"You want to fuck? You like me that much?"

"No, it's just my way of saying thanks for a great night out"

"What?"

Look, I made the post you're responding to two years ago, but it still holds true.
There is a kind of sex you had because you both had a good night and there's a kind of sex you have with someone you're feeling a long term deal with.
Neither of the above are wrong or improper. Sometimes, you're just looking for a good Friday night, and sometimes you're looking for something with a long term potential, and neither of the above are a problem.
The point here is that there's different kinds of deals for different things you're looking for at a given time.
Emotional sex and physical sex are both aspects of adult life. Do your thing, man. Ain't no shame in either.

I've had deeply meaningful sex with people I had a connection with and I've had awesome sex with really hot sorta-friends. I'd recommend against neither.
Do the deed with whoever you like, man, just don't wind up one of those weird fags who talks about femoids and chads.

Edit:
Legit, if you got someone who want the dick and you wanna give them the dick, go ahead and do that. People overcomplicate this shit. Just don't wander in here talking about how you're gonna "looksmax" your "gymcel" or whatever and you're probably fine. To be frank, you live in the era of Tinder and social media, it's never been easier to get laid. Just do your thing and don't be a creep, man.

 

[Nobunaga]

Im so freaking horny and lonely bros....

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

I forgot to mention: somebody here mentioned the idea that virginity is a very insignificant category since it describes an interaction which changes nothing physically and

I'd say that when you really think about how people think about virginity, what it describes is a mixture of innocence and competence in attraction (depending on the person and the gender). That is, the experience of "being a virgin" can be thought of as being related to your perceived lack of experience specifically. That's the aspect that people care about. So, for some men, they may have sex but still "feel like a virgin" because of various issues. This would especially be the case for men who have sex on a sort of fluke, lose their virginity, but then never manage to follow it up by having sex again.

 

[mr.moon1488]

How are there so many virgins here? I'm ugly as fuck irl, and I've gotten laid before.