Virginity & Society - how virginity effects the social lives of people

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are you a virgin?

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    415
I was raised fairly traditional and believed a lot in no doing-the-do till marriage. That generally was a personal thing (as well as a faith thing), I really fancied the concept of finding the right guy and settling down.

Time does wear at the concept, it probably worked better in a time when you were generally expected to find a partner during your mid-to-late teens and got married. It's less effective the longer you wait - I compromised my ideals a little to "when it feels right" rather than "if you want it gotta put a ring on it". It eventually worked out.

Not sure if anyone else had this, but while there was a drive to have that connection with someone, I also wasn't about to just have it off with the first guy who wanted it. Even in spite of teen hormones I sort of hit a mental/physical road block in going all the way. I'm somewhat glad, as one of them wouldn't of been near as adventurous, and the other, I later realised, was a selfish asshole. A bit silly maybe, but I like to think my deeper consciousness won out in both cases. It absolutely saved me from having a first time I would of regretted in the long run.

The first time for me is still quite meaningful to me and the person I was with. I'm still with them now so I guess they are doing something right! The experience itself isn't really a story for the ages (and I won't recount here as it's a bit too personal) but I do get quite misty-eyed when the memory crosses my mind.
 
therealchrischan said:
honestly i don't understand why guys get so upset at being a virgin. what is the big accomplishment of fucking? really? our grandparents did it heck their are 7 billion people in the world. i understand if they are a bit akward they should just work on that. if they are REALLY insecure about it why not get an escort where it is legal? or just lie I mean its not like the "fuck police" exist and will "investigate" weather you fucked or not lol.
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I think incels call that "whorecel" because they think you're still a virgin if you lose your virginity to a hooker as that isn't "real sex." idk, it's really stupid.
 
This+ said:
I think incels call that "whorecel" because they think you're still a virgin if you lose your virginity to a hooker as that isn't "real sex." idk, it's really stupid.
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seriously incels problems would end if they would just lie about their sexual experiences. like what do they think some "fuck police" are knocking at their door and will throw them in "virgin fuck jail" idk if they lie about their experiences?

dumb
 
therealchrischan said:
seriously incels problems would end if they would just lie about their sexual experiences. like what do they think some "fuck police" are knocking at their door and will throw them in "virgin fuck jail" idk if they lie about their experiences?

dumb
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That's probably overdoing it, but it's more that I think people *with* experience can tell when someone else is inexperienced to a degree. People who haven't done the business tend to be more shy/over-confident with the people they like, their view on sex is like catching a mythical unicorn, and being mad about not getting any is a fairly sure sign.

Some people do overcome that because maybe getting laid wasn't a priority for them, but once they enter the dating scene that can leave them vulnerable to people who can tell they haven't a lot of dating experience and take advantage.

Have some experience from watching guy friends who suddenly get into girls and they manage to get into relationships with gold-diggers and shrews. Not incels but they would of benefited from some relationship street-smarts.
 
therealchrischan said:
seriously incels problems would end if they would just lie about their sexual experiences. like what do they think some "fuck police" are knocking at their door and will throw them in "virgin fuck jail" idk if they lie about their experiences?

dumb
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I think Incels are looking for more than a fuck. They want meaningful relationships full of love and respect. I personally think alot of them are like Elliot Rodger, looking for somebody to worship them like a god.
 
therealchrischan said:
seriously incels problems would end if they would just lie about their sexual experiences. like what do they think some "fuck police" are knocking at their door and will throw them in "virgin fuck jail" idk if they lie about their experiences?

dumb
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Or you know...hire a hooker like Chris Chan did. I mean shit, if you have no game, you just need some cash to overcome that.

Apoth42 said:
I think Incels are looking for more than a fuck. They want meaningful relationships full of love and respect. I personally think alot of them are like Elliot Rodger, looking for somebody to worship them like a god.
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See above. It's called a GirlFriend Experience (GFE in the ads), you can hire a chick for that. If she speaks Greek, you've got the best one money can rent.
 
I mean, a lot of the process of losing your virginity is trial and error. You also have to train/learn how to control yourself a bit. But if you aren't willing to give pleasure to your partner first, your chances at succeeding are null. If you admit your lack of experience but good-willed nature, you have a better chance.
 
I don't mind being a virgin most of the time because I'm focused on other things, but when the hormones kick in and I wish someone was laying next to me I end up making myself sad and frustrated.

I've never been on a date before, either, so I'm more concerned with being late with that than I am with my virginity at this point. I get really weird and anxious around men I find attractive, and end up running away from potential opportunities because I get so scared.
 
KelpieSelkie said:
I don't mind being a virgin most of the time because I'm focused on other things, but when the hormones kick in and I wish someone was laying next to me I end up making myself sad and frustrated.
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I wouldn't worry too much about it. You don't want to jump in bed with the first person you see, your first time should be special. I waited until I met someone I really liked to lose my virginity and I don't regret it one bit. I do regret her crying in bed though, that shit kills your boner really hard.
 
vertexwindi said:
I wouldn't worry too much about it. You don't want to jump in bed with the first person you see, your first time should be special. I waited until I met someone I really liked to lose my virginity and I don't regret it one bit. I do regret her crying in bed though, that shit kills your boner really hard.
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and would make a vagina a desert.

but i did see the effect of someone who is still virgin not by choice, you could say he is an incel.
everytime i have a day out with him , he always looks at girls, plotting how to get their number and when he has the balls, asking them out at work.
or just talking about "punani". its incredibly annoying for anyone around because you can see the desperation from a mile away and thats what most people dont like

i hope he gets devirginlised. soon
 
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I'm sure half the reason a lot of people place importance on virginity is because they dont want to anger God, aka they do it out of fear. The other half see getting laid(no, hookers don't count) as an achievement, which depending on how attractive and charismatic you are, can be the achievement of a lifetime or just a regular Tuesday. At least that's how I see people.
 
I got news for you non-sex having men you're not virgins, none of you are. Only women can be virgins. If you have had an orgasm from jacking it you know what an orgasm is from sex. Pussy does feel great but it's not the drug you're led to think it is.

What's good is two humans being emotionally and physically connected for a brief moment along with physical intimacy. I know it might sound cheesy but cuddling with another warm body is so comfortable. Sex without the companionship is nothing more than a cheap thrill.

That's why fucking whores/cheap sex is so unfullfilling and why the people who abuse that stuff find themselves becoming scummy depressed people. Despite appearing to be worlds apart Sexual Deviants have more in common with Incels than health people. Think about it, most of the time both of them are loners, and they digest obscene amounts of porn and have fucked up views on themselves and the opposite sex.
 
I'm surprised the majority answer here is no.

I'm a woman, and I'm not a virgin. I think I've enjoyed my experiences. I really loved my first partner (first boyfriend; was his first time too) and he was the absolute right person to do it with.


Also, question: my friend is 24 years old, autistic, Asian, and still a virgin, and he feels really hopeless. He is considering an escort because he's worried that a future partner would think it odd he's still a virgin, and he's losing hope he'll ever find a partner. I have advised him to do what feels right to him, but I'm not sure if I took the right approach because I don't know very much about sex workers or losing it to a sex worker. What would you advise him to do?
 
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queerape said:
Also, question: my friend is 24 years old, autistic, Asian, and still a virgin, and he feels really hopeless. He is considering an escort because he's worried that a future partner would think it odd he's still a virgin, and he's losing hope he'll ever find a partner. I have advised him to do what feels right to him, but I'm not sure if I took the right approach because I don't know very much about sex workers or losing it to a sex worker. What would you advise him to do?
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I mean, is being a virgin more embarrassing to him than having to fess up about having to pay for the only sex he's ever had?
 
Holy fuck, it's a thread full of teenage boys.

How do you fail this hard at something this basic? It's completely baffling.
 
Ido said:
I mean, is being a virgin more embarrassing to him than having to fess up about having to pay for the only sex he's ever had?
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I'd have to ask him. He says he just wants to pay for the first time and then build from there until he can find a long term gf.
 
queerape said:
I'd have to ask him. He says he just wants to pay for the first time and then build from there until he can find a long term gf.
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Ok so if I were you I'd pop over to the Russell Greer thread located here and see why some people should really stay virgins because hiring a hooker does absolutely nothing to help. I think any woman would be turned tf off if a guy said the only sex he could get he had to pay for.

And sex isn't something that will magically fix his life, just fyi.
 
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