The Cole Smithey Thread

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horrorfan89 said:
He never will get it. The whole of Virginia hates him for making so much trouble for so many years and yet he'll never except that as his fault. Always default to "everyone hates me because of the trolls." It's always trolls always. Even for things they couldn't possibly have done.
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that makes me wonder, if not for the trolls, would he not be notorious in his community? would he be notorious regardless?
considering the game place incident and boyfriend free girl thing, he'd probably just be less notorious.
 
goku123 said:
that makes me wonder, if not for the trolls, would he not be notorious in his community? would he be notorious regardless?
considering the game place incident and boyfriend free girl thing, he'd probably just be less notorious.
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Absolutely not. Maybe in niche circles there but no. He would be known in places he frequents and probably in his neighborhood but thats probly it for the most part. If any of you guys live in the suburbs or a suburban type area, please chime in. Most people now don't know jack about their neighbors, even the weird ones. Most of what you learn is seeing them outside and I doubt Chris is out there doing much in the light of day for anyone to see anyway. Just think about how every job you've ever worked probly had a story about "that one guy" or "that one customer" but if you weren't actually there for it, it's just a meaningless story and you wouldnt even know the person if you bumped into them
 
horrorfan89 said:
He never will get it. The whole of Virginia hates him for making so much trouble for so many years and yet he'll never except that as his fault. Always default to "everyone hates me because of the trolls." It's always trolls always. Even for things they couldn't possibly have done.
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He even blamed Bob's death on "da twolls". No shame from the jackoff.

Cole knows. He knows all about it. He may even be in contact with the state, we'll never know. He equally likely removed himself from the situation. He's living his best life and he knows it.
 
datura_binge said:
Absolutely not. Maybe in niche circles there but no. He would be known in places he frequents and probably in his neighborhood but thats probly it for the most part. If any of you guys live in the suburbs or a suburban type area, please chime in. Most people now don't know jack about their neighbors, even the weird ones. Most of what you learn is seeing them outside and I doubt Chris is out there doing much in the light of day for anyone to see anyway. Just think about how every job you've ever worked probly had a story about "that one guy" or "that one customer" but if you weren't actually there for it, it's just a meaningless story and you wouldnt even know the person if you bumped into them
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I actually do have a good example of this. There's this guy I know his name is also Chris and he acts a lot like Chris.
He doesn't do crime or have sonichu but he does act like Chris and have his own tugboat.

Essentially what happens is he will get his tugboat. he will go out and buy the newest game console and game every month. He will then go out and buy a big bag of tobacco and tubes. He will then go get multiple 2 l of soda and a king's feast of fast food.

Now it is a few days after he gets his tugboat maybe a week. He is out of money so he sells his brand new game console and game cheaper than he bought it because it's used now. He then goes around town begging people for money and if you say no he starts bad-mouthing you around town to which nobody listens because they know exactly what he's doing. Honestly if we got rid of Chris's comic and made it so nobody knew who he was this would be his fate. To overspend and beg the surrounding community to help support you and every month somehow take advantage of the system enough and take advantage of the kind-hearted people within the community enough to get by.

Seriously though I wish he did have a YouTube or something because the parallels are astounding. He even kind of looks like Chris before the whole tranny thing and he's also around Chris's age.
 
Cole when barb dies.
 

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Maybe Cole would have a story about specifically why all of Barbs living relatives hate her besides Chris Chan. There’s probably some good and interesting stories about incidents where Barb maybe just goes insane on her relatives until eventually she alienates every relative besides Bob and Chris Chan. Bob eventually died, and Chris Chan was placed into custody recently. Also maybe he would know where Barb is. A nursing home? I want to meet Cole face to face to discuss these matters. And record it on videotape.
 
Shiversblood said:
Maybe Cole would have a story about specifically why all of Barbs living relatives hate her besides Chris Chan. There’s probably some good and interesting stories about incidents where Barb maybe just goes insane on her relatives until eventually she alienates every relative besides Bob and Chris Chan. Bob eventually died, and Chris Chan was placed into custody recently. Also maybe he would know where Barb is. A nursing home? I want to meet Cole face to face to discuss these matters. And record it on videotape.
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I think some of it has to do after their Aunt Corrina died. I recall reading/hearing she was one of the few that tolerated Barb and Chris for years and then when she passed, at her funeral Chris was being...well, Chris and that was the last straw.
 
I’m assuming Cole was never on Barb’s emergency contact list to begin with, he no longer lives in the area and cut her off long ago. It wouldn’t make sense for the hospital to have him on file and contact him, there’s really nothing he could do or want to do in this situation.

That being said, there’s no way he didn’t find out via Twitter and/or weens, but he’s not about to be put in charge of Barb any time soon.
 
Morally Reprehensive said:
I’m assuming Cole was never on Barb’s emergency contact list to begin with, he no longer lives in the area and cut her off long ago. It wouldn’t make sense for the hospital to have him on file and contact him, there’s really nothing he could do or want to do in this situation.

That being said, there’s no way he didn’t find out via Twitter and/or weens, but he’s not about to be put in charge of Barb any time soon.
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I recall his relationship with Bob was strained, but as far as Barb goes, was the relationship similarly strained, or was his distancing primarily just because of not wanting to associate with Chris?
 
datura_binge said:
Absolutely not. Maybe in niche circles there but no. He would be known in places he frequents and probably in his neighborhood but thats probly it for the most part. If any of you guys live in the suburbs or a suburban type area, please chime in. Most people now don't know jack about their neighbors, even the weird ones. Most of what you learn is seeing them outside and I doubt Chris is out there doing much in the light of day for anyone to see anyway. Just think about how every job you've ever worked probly had a story about "that one guy" or "that one customer" but if you weren't actually there for it, it's just a meaningless story and you wouldnt even know the person if you bumped into them
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Yeah, I'd guess he wouldn't be that well-known in his community. I've lived in several places, some with a much-greater-than-usual concentration of eccentrics, and in general, in America, in the suburbs or in the cities, you don't really know or care about your neighbours. Yes, there might be "that guy" you see at work all the time, or wandering around the mall, or picking garbage from the cans on your street. But it's not such a big deal. Crazy people are everywhere.

In my neighbourhood alone, we've got at least one hoarder (don't know who it is, just know the house is piled floor to ceiling with trash; you can see it through the windows), several drugged out hippies, a QAnon who loves to fly Blue Lives Matter flags on his lawn, an Antifa troon who's been convicted of assault, and one (possibly two) e-girls with a moderately successful OnlyFans site. Maybe they'd be lol-worthy, I don't know; they're just people you see maybe once, twice a month, if you're coming home from work or taking a stroll down to the beer store. None of them have trolls or fanclubs or stalkers driving by their house at all hours of the night, so they go largely unnoticed even by the people living next to them.
 
Tom Myers said:
F to doubt.

If he won't care for his mother, she'll have some shitty social worker caring for her.
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Cole would be absolutely fine with that. And he has every right to be.

Shiversblood said:
Maybe Cole would have a story about specifically why all of Barbs living relatives hate her besides Chris Chan. There’s probably some good and interesting stories about incidents where Barb maybe just goes insane on her relatives until eventually she alienates every relative besides Bob and Chris Chan. Bob eventually died, and Chris Chan was placed into custody recently. Also maybe he would know where Barb is. A nursing home? I want to meet Cole face to face to discuss these matters. And record it on videotape.
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I remember something about Barb trying to seduce another family member’s (sister’s?) husband.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Cole knew nothing and was happy knowing nothing. Weens made him aware of the basics through Twitter and that could be it.

StraightShooter2 said:
I recall his relationship with Bob was strained, but as far as Barb goes, was the relationship similarly strained, or was his distancing primarily just because of not wanting to associate with Chris?
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There was something about her attacking him. The cwiki is down for me so I can’t look it up. But he does not like Barb. It isn’t just about Chris. It might even primarily be about Barb and not Chris.
 
StraightShooter2 said:
I recall his relationship with Bob was strained, but as far as Barb goes, was the relationship similarly strained, or was his distancing primarily just because of not wanting to associate with Chris?
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Barbara was emotionally abusive to him, and allowed her precession of boyfriends to both emotionally and physically abuse him. She also lied, for his entire life, about the identify of his true father, something he learned only through a private detective.

As for why the family rejected them: mostly because Barbara is a malignant narcissist with borderline personality disorder, partly because Chris has never, at any point, behaved appropriately in any scenario.
 
Tom Myers said:
F to doubt.

If he won't care for his mother, she'll have some shitty social worker caring for her.
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Why do you doubt? What exactly has Cole ever done that gives the impression he holds anything but absolute contempt for his family? He is not going to leave New York and his life there to come back to Bumfuckistan and take care of a senile bag he has hated most of his life.
 
The sad thing for Cole Smithey is he wouldn't be a major part of Christory had it not been that Chris had to be such an idiot to have his Gmail hacked which in the depressing leaked emails of Cole trying via Chris to get Barb to tell him the apparent true identity of his father. And then of course Chris making that hilarious comic of Cole, the wealthy internet film critic burning money in a fireplace while Chris & Barb starve.

No one cares about Chris's half siblings via Bob. I'm a retard who read way too much of the Cwciki during the Golden Years and when I think of Bob Chandler's extended family I think of John Kerry because someone photoshopped him with Chris. it was something about Chris attending a wedding? I dunno even know anymore.

P.S. Cole did nothing wrong by negatively reviewing Toy Story 3. That movie was in fact the beginning of Disney making bland nostalgia fueled trash.
 
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Downvote me all you want but Ive never really understood why Cole seems to garner so much hatred here, yeah he is an absolute pretentious douche on every level, but he's never been an active threat towards anyone and mainly just keeps to himself even on his film platforms. He may a snarmy and self righteous prick who writes terrible and mediocre reviews with a zip code level ego but there are far worse things a person can be. People saying they’re rather hang out with a mentally ill, hideous Tranny mother fucker than Cole are lying to themselves. I’td be infinitely more tolerable to be with at least a somewhat normal if pretentious film critic than with Chris of all of people. I don’t care if he thinks he’s better than me I feel sorry for him being born into such white trash shitty parents and being hounded with weens forever, no one deserves that.
 
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