Something Awful and Friends - The roller-coaster train-wreck embarrassing downfall of a Web 1.0 giant and its tick offspring like from Cloverfield

[thx1138]

I'm not familiar with Somethingawful beyond the basics; what was the "zipline of death"?

 

[Big Nasty]

I'm not familiar with Somethingawful beyond the basics; what was the "zipline of death"?

I don't know, but it sounds like it was a horrible and sad event.

 

[Antisocial Justice Wario]

I'm not familiar with Somethingawful beyond the basics; what was the "zipline of death"?

A long time ago when SA was still at least accidentally capable of producing funny things, some goon started talking about a project to build a children's activity/entertainment camp on some wasteland. A feature of this was a zipline and some industrious goons worked out, from the photos/info provided, that said zipline would propel a child into a dead stop on a tree at approx 70mph.

 

[TiggerNits]

I fucking loved the low-carb thread. Everyone who posted in it was slowly descending into insanity. Some guy had bread nightmares. Another goon killed his dog feeding it keto. Someone else had a total cholesterol of like 500.

Plus whatever the fuck this was:

View attachment 1103540

I don't know, but it sounds like it was a horrible and sad event.

The goons that made it never used it, so it was very sad imo

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

I don't know, but it sounds like it was a horrible and sad event.

A goon was tasked with building a “fun” zip line for a kid’s camp. He designed a certain death zip line, but goons pointed out the killing machine before it went into use.

 

[eternal dog mongler]

My understanding is that goons in the low carb thread were buying big buckets of lard.

 

[Antisocial Justice Wario]

My understanding is that goons in the low carb thread were buying big buckets of lard.

"This is health food" posts a goon as he throws 5 baconators into a bowl with no bread (because then it wouldn't be healthy) and adds double cream before going to town.

The goon dog in question wasn't even put on a keto diet, the fucking moron gave it shit loads of cream.

 

[Aquinas]

I am FactsAreUseless.

You can tell because I am physically incapable of saying anything funny and all I do is obesely whine and have diabetes.

well, you did come from FYAD, so it makes sense that you are unfunny

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

I fucking loved the low-carb thread. Everyone who posted in it was slowly descending into insanity. Some guy had bread nightmares. Another goon killed his dog feeding it keto. Someone else had a total cholesterol of like 500.

Plus whatever the fuck this was:

View attachment 1103540

I think that's coffee with butter, but not sure. Either way, it's a stupid idea when the whole point of a diet is to restrict calories, so adding butter to your coffee is fucking stupid

 

[Antisocial Justice Wario]

I think that's coffee with butter, but not sure. Either way, it's a stupid idea when the whole point of a diet is to restrict calories, so adding butter to your coffee is fucking stupid

If only it were something that delicious. It's a cup of "bone broth" with lumps of fat in it.

I can't find it right now but there's another pic from the same thread courtesy of some fat mess of a mod that's a plate of what looks like wet steak. Anyone that posted saying whether you agree with low carb or not surely trying to "eat clean" should still be a goal got the most brutal of long probations for "concern trolling"

 

[Big Nasty]

Those extreme low-carb, high fat diets tend to be a favorite among some aggressively right-wing people though, really don't know why.

 

[eternal dog mongler]

If only it were something that delicious. It's a cup of "bone broth" with lumps of fat in it.

I can't find it right now but there's another pic from the same thread courtesy of some fat mess of a mod that's a plate of what looks like wet steak. Anyone that posted saying whether you agree with low carb or not surely trying to "eat clean" should still be a goal got the most brutal of long probations for "concern trolling"

I got you.



IIRC he found a bunch of steaks on sale and then drenched them in butter.

Profound depression on a plate.

 

[Weppers]

I am personally convinced all these ketosis goons were having a daily 'cheat' 2-liter as well, if not much more. Caffeine increases metabolism, they were likely telling themselves as they washed the buttersteak down with Dew.

 

[Marissa Moira]

I got you.

View attachment 1103767

IIRC he found a bunch of steaks on sale and then drenched them in butter.

Profound depression on a plate.

Hold it, you are actually supposed to drench steaks in butter, but you're supposed to sear and season them so you get a proper outer crust.

 

[Antisocial Justice Wario]

I got you.

View attachment 1103767

IIRC he found a bunch of steaks on sale and then drenched them in butter.

Profound depression on a plate.

Thanks! That's the shit. Also:
Hat

 

[repentance]

I fucking loved the low-carb thread. Everyone who posted in it was slowly descending into insanity.

I loved how so many of them would have "cheat days" where they ate a month's worth of carbs which they didn't count because reasons.

 

[Godbert Manderville]

My SA story, for whatever it's worth (jackshit, it's worth jackshit)...

I registered my main account sometime in 2003. Found the forums funny, but was never interested or involved in all the off-site doxing shit. Just wasn't my thing, and looking back on it after 17 years of growth I actually agree with a lot of what's being said: it was horrific. Those were real and deeply troubled people. Their suffering was no joke, even if they were somewhat attention-whorey, and many went on to harm themselves to the ultimate degree on account of all the mockery. There is excuse or apology sufficient to undo that evil. It's not something to be proud of or even keep around.

Life changed for me. I mostly moved on from being online to busy myself real shit, and for the past decade I posted almost exclusively in the Games forum oblivious to everything else going on. But, come Brexit I got re-interested in the Politics forum and ventured into the UKMT thread where I discovered a mental-illness level of hatred for anyone who wasn't a full-on Marxist shill. It wasn't enough that you were left-leaning. You had to have drunk from the Communism kool-aid or else you were as much the enemy as the Far-Right. Tried to talk some adult sense into those children, to manage their expectations of what's achievable, to look outside their bubble, to understand that their mental-illness was driving their perspectives and pushing them into hero-delusions that would come to naught but pain, to tone their shit down so as not to lose the Centre who would be needed for electoral success. Nothing sank in and vitriol was the response so fuck it, troll 'em. Picked up an easy Probation and went back to the Games forum.

Then this marketing video was released for a little game called War Thunder :

War Thunder on Twitter

“Ready to get BLACKED...? https://t.co/pLXF1QSdLB”

twitter.com

A simple porno reference meant to amuse, which no-one in their right mind would make a fuss about, right? Those goons in the War Thunder thread on SA kicking up a stink about the word "Blacked" being verbed were just being ironically idpol, right? Wrong. THEY WERE DEADLY FUCKING SERIOUS. And they weren't being told to STFU either as would have roundly happened in the old days. It's at that point I realised SA had been irreparably damaged. The poison of mental illness had escaped the Politics forum and infected even Games. It was no longer a place for me, so back to UKMT I go to talk to the nutters once more. The mod there - VideoGames - objectively spineless and easily brigaded sucked them off through a Ban of him who had dared invade the sanctity of their Safe Space Echo Chamber, on a dishonest basis at that. Good riddance. Although I very much did enjoy the tantrums thrown there after the Tories utterly destroyed their god-king Corbyn. So so pathetic. Such a sorry bunch of losers.

It's only later that I learnt of the whole trans takeover thing. It explained so much - the mentally ill screeching, the brigading, the perpetual victimhood, the refusal to take personal responsibility for anything at all, the death of humour, the purity spiral that now sees them eating each other. Not to tar all trans people with that brush, of course, but the perpetually-online variety of SA certainly deserve it. They like to think of themselves as the polar opposite of Nazis, when all their behaviours indicate they are actually two sides of the same coin.

All things have their time. Nothing lasts forever. So, farewell Something Awful. You were something once, but you will be never again. Not now that the inmates have seized control of the asylum. A fitting end. A punishment perhaps for the damage that was done to real people in your youth.

 

[Leonard Helplessness]

My SA story, for whatever it's worth (jackshit, it's worth jackshit)...

I registered my main account sometime in 2003. Found the forums funny, but was never interested or involved in all the off-site doxing shit. Just wasn't my thing, and looking back on it after 17 years of growth I actually agree with a lot of what's being said: it was horrific. Those were real and deeply troubled people. Their suffering was no joke, even if they were somewhat attention-whorey, and many went on to harm themselves to the ultimate degree on account of all the mockery. There is excuse or apology sufficient to undo that evil. It's not something to be proud of or even keep around.

Life changed for me. I mostly moved on from being online to busy myself real shit, and for the past decade I posted almost exclusively in the Games forum oblivious to everything else going on. But, come Brexit I got re-interested in the Politics forum and ventured into the UKMT thread where I discovered a mental-illness level of hatred for anyone who wasn't a full-on Marxist shill. It wasn't enough that you were left-leaning. You had to have drunk from the Communism kool-aid or else you were as much the enemy as the Far-Right. Tried to talk some adult sense into those children, to manage their expectations of what's achievable, to look outside their bubble, to understand that their mental-illness was driving their perspectives and pushing them into hero-delusions that would come to naught but pain, to tone their shit down so as not to lose the Centre who would be needed for electoral success. Nothing sank in and vitriol was the response so fuck it, troll 'em. Picked up an easy Probation and went back to the Games forum.

Then this marketing video was released for a little game called War Thunder :

War Thunder on Twitter

“Ready to get BLACKED...? https://t.co/pLXF1QSdLB”

twitter.com

A simple porno reference meant to amuse, which no-one in their right mind would make a fuss about, right? Those goons in the War Thunder thread on SA kicking up a stink about the word "Blacked" being verbed were just being ironically idpol, right? Wrong. THEY WERE DEADLY FUCKING SERIOUS. And they weren't being told to STFU either as would have roundly happened in the old days. It's at that point I realised SA had been irreparably damaged. The poison of mental illness had escaped the Politics forum and infected even Games. It was no longer a place for me, so back to UKMT I go to talk to the nutters once more. The mod there - VideoGames - objectively spineless and easily brigaded sucked them off through a Ban of him who had dared invade the sanctity of their Safe Space Echo Chamber, on a dishonest basis at that. Good riddance. Although I very much did enjoy the tantrums thrown there after the Tories utterly destroyed their god-king Corbyn. So so pathetic. Such a sorry bunch of losers.

It's only later that I learnt of the whole trans takeover thing. It explained so much - the mentally ill screeching, the brigading, the perpetual victimhood, the refusal to take personal responsibility for anything at all, the death of humour, the purity spiral that now sees them eating each other. Not to tar all trans people with that brush, of course, but the perpetually-online variety of SA certainly deserve it. They like to think of themselves as the polar opposite of Nazis, when all their behaviours indicate they are actually two sides of the same coin.

All things have their time. Nothing lasts forever. So, farewell Something Awful. You were something once, but you will be never again. Not now that the inmates have seized control of the asylum. A fitting end. A punishment perhaps for the damage that was done to real people in your youth.

UKMT got worse after you left. I let myself into their Discord the day of the 2019 general election and shit like this was going on:

Also, welcome to the Farms!

 

[Trip Chesterton III]

My favorite goon diet post screenshot collection:

 

[Twinkie]

I'm not familiar with Somethingawful beyond the basics; what was the "zipline of death"?

it was treepunk as hell