Something Awful and Friends - The roller-coaster train-wreck embarrassing downfall of a Web 1.0 giant and its tick offspring like from Cloverfield

[aquariumwater]

I'm not familiar with Somethingawful beyond the basics; what was the "zipline of death"?

I don't think anyone mentioned it, but to complicate the situation, the goon in question spent the camp's entire budget on clear cutting the forest where the zip line was located. There was no money left to hire an engineer by the time they built the platforms.

hipinion.com • View topic - Megathread Theater, Ep. 2: "Tell me how to fix this zipline"

web.archive.org

 

[repentance]

My favorite goon diet post screenshot collection:

View attachment 1103855

Three short months is how long it took for 21 year old Koaxke to fuck up his health by following the advice of goons. And he wasn't even overweight.

 

[TiggerNits]

Three short months is how long it took for 21 year old Koaxke to fuck up his health by following the advice of goons. And he wasn't even overweight.

Better a stroke at 21 than GRS at 41

 

[Leonard Helplessness]

Reset the clock!

 

[AmpleApricots]

40 pages late, but it could be that whatever browser you saved the image effectively rewrote it. I recall a few browsers a long while back, possibly including but not limited to Internet Explorer, not saving images appropriately. Some of those popular glitch images with text hidden inside would be downloaded without the text, for instance. Unless you can find another source for it, that image, if it had something in it, is probably dead now.

I downloaded the file, on review in an text editor it indeed has an DOS executable attached (magic number "4D 5A" = MZ) removing the gif part, on execution in dosbox it immediately returns to prompt, so it's valid code. It doesn't seem to change any other files it's placed in it's dos enviroment in, although it might have, I didn't check that thoroughly. My guess is that it's a TSR, knowing goon humor probably some old virus, original or modified. I don't really feel like spending more time on some goon throwaway joke right now, maybe at a later time.

I know one trans woman who is deep in the uncanny valley because she is fifty something and doing her best to look like a sexy thot instead of just trying to look her age. She'd look fine if she wasn't trying to recapture a youth she never had.

It's a fifty-something year old guy pretenting to be a woman. That any combination of that can be regarded as looking fine I'd have to rate "highly optimistic". There's no rainbow big enough really.

 

[E. Knee as Weapon - Cont.]

In fairness, the propaganda that Elliott Higgins spreads on behalf of the Atlantic Council and other shady groups has led to the deaths of uncountable innocent people. But that's because he is presented by their pet media as an 'expert', rather than posting his garbage to the SA forums.

Is this saga written up somewhere? Last time I paid attention to D&D was when he was just a goon and everyone was sucking his dick for his Syria investigating. Now goons hate him and he's a minor celebrity outside of SA. What happened in between?

 

[Humble Shitpost Merchant]

View attachment 1103937

Reset the clock!

People knew Azure Horizen was a rapist for years. The guy hasn’t even been on the forums for years, and if he has, he probably is on a parachute account like Fire got from a mod.

I mean better late than never but after seven years they honestly they may as well have never bothered.

 

[TiggerNits]

Quickly Lowtax, its the virtue signal

 

[⠠⠠⠅⠑⠋⠋⠁⠇⠎ ⠠⠠⠊⠎ ⠠⠠⠁ ⠠⠠⠋⠁⠛]

Is this saga written up somewhere? Last time I paid attention to D&D was when he was just a goon and everyone was sucking his dick for his Syria investigating. Now goons hate him and he's a minor celebrity outside of SA. What happened in between?

I'm only vaguely aware of his earlier dealings, but in the past couple years he's acted as a propagandist for war against the Syrian people by pretending that there was a chemical attack by the government in the city of Douma in 2018 (since disproven by OPCW whistleblowers) and promoting a fake ISIS account run by an Indian marketing guy.

Apparently he also got some other idiot he was in contact with who went to help the Kurdish terrorists killed, which is pretty funny.

 

[Blimp]

View attachment 1103937

Reset the clock!

This was less of a "WE'RE PUTTING OUR FOOT DOWN ON RAPE", and more of a "oh god oh fuck don't talk about this in the open", with the implication being that people are quoting this for the wrong reasons, and while they got rid of his posts, the quotes are still there

"Because assholes love to quote this"
"Wild, inaccurate assumptions"
HAY GUYZ I GOT MY STRAIGHT FRIEND DRUNK AND FUCKED HIM, BTW BRING MORE STRAIGHT DUDES TO GAY BARS

 

[AnOminous]

A goon was tasked with building a “fun” zip line for a kid’s camp. He designed a certain death zip line, but goons pointed out the killing machine before it went into use.

Has a goon ever succeeded at anything in the history of ever?

I'd say no, because if they succeeded at something, they would in that moment cease to be a goon.

 

[Humble Shitpost Merchant]

Has a goon ever succeeded at anything in the history of ever?

I'd say no, because if they succeeded at something, they would in that moment cease to be a goon.

It’s true. Anyone vaguely successful on the forums like Mega64 or Notch or Yahtzee either get the fuck out of SA or are driven out by the goons themselves. To this day I can’t even begin to explain why Niel Cicierega was banned, and my best guess is that it was because he managed to be Actually Funny.

They also had Gail Simone on for like a week before they banned her for something pointless and goony.

 

[Antisocial Justice Wario]

I don't think anyone mentioned it, but to complicate the situation, the goon in question spent the camp's entire budget on clear cutting the forest where the zip line was located. There was no money left to hire an engineer by the time they built the platforms.
View attachment 1103847
View attachment 1103848
View attachment 1103849
View attachment 1103850

hipinion.com • View topic - Megathread Theater, Ep. 2: "Tell me how to fix this zipline"

web.archive.org

I love you for this.

No one was surprised when the first test weight slammed into the pole, and by then all the money for the project had been spent.

40 grand to build a child killing device hahahaha

It’s true. Anyone vaguely successful on the forums like Mega64 or Notch or Yahtzee either get the fuck out of SA or are driven out by the goons themselves. To this day I can’t even begin to explain why Niel Cicierega was banned, and my best guess is that it was because he managed to be Actually Funny.

They also had Gail Simone on for like a week before they banned her for something pointless and goony.

God fucking forbid you upstage Lowtax/cripplingly unfunny modmins by actually being funny.

 

[eternal dog mongler]

I downloaded the file, on review in an text editor it indeed has an DOS executable attached (magic number "4D 5A" = MZ) removing the gif part, on execution in dosbox it immediately returns to prompt, so it's valid code. It doesn't seem to change any other files it's placed in it's dos enviroment in, although it might have, I didn't check that thoroughly. My guess is that it's a TSR, knowing goon humor probably some old virus, original or modified. I don't really feel like spending more time on some goon throwaway joke right now, maybe at a later time.

It's not a computer virus. Or, well, it doesn't infect your computer machine.

You run it and it infects your mind, creating an increasing obsession with internet forums that spirals out of control until you're looking up SRS providers.

Godspeed.

 

[Pissmaster]

It’s true. Anyone vaguely successful on the forums like Mega64 or Notch or Yahtzee either get the fuck out of SA or are driven out by the goons themselves. To this day I can’t even begin to explain why Niel Cicierega was banned, and my best guess is that it was because he managed to be Actually Funny.

They also had Gail Simone on for like a week before they banned her for something pointless and goony.

You know, I never did see a single one of Yahtzee's posts when I was on there. I could have sworn he abandoned his account when he started ZP, but apparently his last post was in 2010.

Here, you can see it if you have platinum (I don't)

 

[Blimp]

To this day I can’t even begin to explain why Niel Cicierega was banned

Niel makes good content, but has an ego the size of the sun, and was reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaally pushing it with his weird "I want to fuck Emmy" fanfic that CC begged him to stop continuing. Getting helldumped broke his brain hardcore, and he was pissed just in general that randomly showing-up to threads didn't result in instant dicksucking



He kept trying to insert himself into the site because Shmorky had absolutely convinced him that he's destined for better things than Flash, and his icebreaker was The Creepy Clown Quartet, he bought a banner ad for the thread and everything. His troupe of Animutation hangers-on shilled it, and suggested it become frontpage content, but it wasn't a huge thread despite bumps, and Lowtax didn't notice

The Clown Quartet: Performing Stimmhorn's Triohatala

The Clown Quartet: Performing Stimmhorn's Triohatala

www.youtube.com

A year later, Lowtax asked if goons wanted pullover or zip-up hypothetical SA sweaters, as he would totally 100% start making SA sweaters after people finished ignoring Moofwear. Niel made the attached song proclaiming the sweaters MUST be zip-up, and it was again buried/ignored amidst goons trying to outgoon each other with wacky/zany pullover vs. zip-up content. As shown in the screenshot, his last big SA moment was Ultimate Showdown

 

[Leonard Helplessness]

You know, I never did see a single one of Yahtzee's posts when I was on there. I could have sworn he abandoned his account when he started ZP, but apparently his last post was in 2010.

Here, you can see it if you have platinum (I don't)

At one point, someone did a Let's Play of some of Yahtzee's old adventure games (the Chzo Mythos series) and he returned to do Q&A about them. He said he left the forums because of people constantly following him around to "omg it's yahtzee" in every thread he posted in.

Some of his posts in the Let's Play thread were pretty funny:

I remember shortly after 7 Days was released someone on the AGS forums posted a very short joke game called 3 Minutes A Fart, in which a crudely-drawn man bent forward and broke wind for an anomalously long amount of time before saying 'I JUST WANTED TO GO INTO SPAAACE!'

 

[Anime is Blood]

Something Sensitive has a lot of the details but the high level summary is that he created a website based on Wikipedia “research” that just so happened to corroborate the globohomo narratives regarding Russia, Syria, etc. As a result, he gets grants and recognition from warmongering organizations for his “research.” Eliot Piggins definitely lives up to the idiot part of useful idiot.

The secret to his success was that back when the conflict first broke out and livestream links of civilians on the front lines were making the rounds on conspiracy forums/SA he had the foresight to ambulance chase almost immediately. I read the same threads and you would have a <100 person stream of someone in the streets as bombs went off while that fat faggot tried to get their attention.

He managed to harass enough people getting cut to pieces in bombings that he turned the survivors into contacts and used their information to get fame. His exclusives and inside info were always civilians sending him a cellphone video of an intact bomb or a picture of the markings on metal fragments. Nobody else had that information and then he just used google to figure out what it was.

He was a double piece of shit for letting this mythos build around him where he is a New Age Journalist, using tools like Wikipedia to revolutionize reporting as he expertly breaks news stories where mainstream media has failed. His interviews on CNN and MSNBC didn't mention the murdered civilians doing the actual footwork as this fat faggot did google searches from the comfort of his own home.

Is this saga written up somewhere? Last time I paid attention to D&D was when he was just a goon and everyone was sucking his dick for his Syria investigating. Now goons hate him and he's a minor celebrity outside of SA. What happened in between?

I believe the worm turned on him because that stroke of luck where he got direct access to street level information/contacts in a warzone no one else could enter only got him so far. Later when things outside Syria happened he was one of a billion idiots just google searching things so he didn't stand out or have anything unique to say. He was no longer a source of information and was just a regular commentator so people quit giving his dumb ideas and opinions the time of day since he offered literally nothing else anymore.

 

[AnOminous]

He was no longer a source of information and was just a regular commentator so people quit giving his exceptional ideas and opinions the time of day since he offered literally nothing else anymore.

Anyone remotely intelligent with a grasp of online shit can do that themselves anyway so it is much less impressive. It was mainly impressive to the fake news media who are dumb as shit in the first place. Anyone who even tries can do a better job than 99% of the media. That 1% consists of the increasingly rare legitimate investigative journalists, the only people worthy of the name, really.

 

[Godbert Manderville]

UKMT got worse after you left. I let myself into their Discord the day of the 2019 general election and shit like this was going on:

View attachment 1103810

Also, welcome to the Farms!

Thanks for the warm welcome

I'm actually pretty glad they're locking everything down as tight as they are. It means their mental-illness can be contained and hopefully die in that (now) small and irrelevant corner of the Web. I read something really telling in UKMT the day after the election. One of the posters was legit complaining about how his Tory-voting grandparents WEREN'T rubbing the result in his face, on account of some long-game conspiratorial plan those evil oldies had for him/her/it. How warped does your perspective on life have to be to conclude that your own grandparents have some dubious reason to NOT troll you? They're holding their tongues because they love me, worry about me, and don't want to hurt me? Nah, that can't be it. They must be up to something!

So mentally ill, it's not even funny...