random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[invisibult plus+]

Dana’s pilot Knight’s of Gwendavier(however the fuck you spell that)

 

[Aunt Carol]

He posted about bees again. Not worth the effort to archive tho.

WTF kind of sick public scat fantasy was that? Didn't seem very womanly.

Maybe it's my innate autistic soul but stories about people stealing other people's legos pisses me off every time it happens.

There's no point in buying 20 copies of Dumbledore's Office that doesn't even include the damn Dumbledore minifig.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

the guy who wrote lolita didn't even enjoy writing and mainly wrote it because he knew it would make a lot of money. enough money for him to retire and follow his true passion: butterfly genitalia

The fuck? Did they just keep going back into and out of the attic? STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THE ATTIC ASSHOLES

Endurance where you decide it’s her turn to pick a movie, so you have to watch some homosexual film about like “The glass castle” and it makes you want to kill everyone in Hollywood and punch random women, but instead you say “it sure was interesting.” Instead of complaining nonstop and saying that the protagonist was a retard from a a clan of stupid niggers

I went for the crispy rather than spicy burger, but it's honestly no different to a mcchicken except everything is gayer to eat

Were I dropped into a modern comic book, I too would immediately start killing off legacy characters

Yes, many a summer afternoon has been ruined as I sit down in my garden deck chair with my strawberry spritz for a little light reading and discover that my copy of Mein Kampf, the manifesto by Adolf Hitler, has been mistranslated by yet another Jewish conspiracy.

Raccoon dick bone for scale

I hope you get into Vegan Heaven with Impossible Burger Jesus or whatever

Late but don't try it, buddy. I know this type of woman and you don't even get a chance at having a chance until you best her in MTG and that drinking game from Raiders of the Lost Ark but she's provided the bottle and it's some sort of Serbian war memorial edition of a clear liquor you've never heard of with engravings of little artillerymen shooting at a mountain as the label, and you're stilll going to fail the IQ test she keeps in the back pocket of her only pair of trousers next to her enemies list and invader zim bottle opener. Her pain is as sharp and unending as her ornamental axe collection.

Everyone who insists on posting this should know that your opinion is bad and you should feel bad and you're wrong so just sit there in your wrongness and be wrong.

People like this will never survive an actual civil war. They'll be found dead in a landfill with holes drilled into their kneecaps and their hands swollen up like mickey mouse gloves after being bound with electrical wire for too long.

in the second half comes the 1992 hamlet with, lord have mercy, TWO cheese based products in it

Remember that you can check those Epstein Files, but you know whose name isn't in it? SpongeBob SquarePants

Like if you wanted to really twist the knife you should point out that the overwhelming majority of "epic hacker 4chinz" are the product of some jeet on the neopets backend fucking up and 10 years later we google a username but instead we're a bright eyed PoG (Person of Girth) who knows your IP with the wiggle of an eyebrow. Seriously look at those eyes. 9 hours beauty sleep then 15 hours internet omnipotence

I thought the eyebrows were quotation marks around the word father until I looked closer.

Gotta see if you have anything illegal inside your ass

What I am saying, however, is that I don't think anyone who writes 400,000 word hardcore erotic bdsm stories about how the prepubescent boys from that one anime brutally rape and impregnate each other should be allowed to babysit

Stop politely waiting for oblivious idiots to get out of the way. Cultivate a resting murder face and just shoulder check your way through the door. If you aren't constantly radiating 300-page manifesto haver, you're just going to keep getting steamrolled by cutters and blockers. Start looking mean. None of this oblivious main character shit stops unless they get called out, and passive aggressive wimps just enable it. The high trust society is dead. Act accordingly.

If a fucking villain in Batman is called Killer Crok and is a literal cocodrile-human mix, ofc there's something wrong with the water.

He’s not even from Gotham (he’s from Florida), and really is just a man with a skin condition.

I've had an ongoing series of daydreams where I develop time travel and use it to open a modern ice cream shop in medieval England. I'd let people barter for it with whatever random shit they like if they don't have money, and I'd periodically go back to the present to donate the stuff the villagers trade me to a museum so I could write it off on my taxes. Plus I'd get to impress people with my knowledge of medicine and science, my relatively advanced technology, and I could introduce them to flavors they'd never get otherwise, like pineapples or chocolate

The myth that ants are hard-working, or in any way capable, really annoys me. I will accept that maybe one ant in every thousand might rise to a level of competence, and that one in every ten-thousand might, in addition to being competent, also be diligent and conscientious. It doesn't matter, since these rare virtues are diluted by the unfettered idiocy of their co-ants. I posit that what ants have achieved collectively as a species has been done through sheer weight of numbers - the infinite monkeys knocking out a rough first draft of Hamlet approach to advancement.

Every night, at the moment, large numbers of ants will emerge from the cupboard where the boiler used to be. They will scamper aimlessly around on the kitchen floor tiles for a few hours, then they will return to their nest empty handed. They never venture onto the counters or work surfaces where there might conceivably be food. The other night, as an experiment, I left a spent carton of apple and mango juice by the sink to see if they would attempt to harvest the pithy residue of its fruity goodness. Of course, they didn't go anywhere near it. The only reason that I tolerate this nonsense from the boiler cupboard ants is because I am trying to be kinder to living things, which entails not killing them. I still openly call them retards to their little upturned ant faces and I stand by that. Cancel me all you want. Ants are retarded. They can't even rise to the autisitc flower goonery of bees.

 

[Normal-Style Human]

My interest in dogfucking begins and ends with porn. My penis has no moral compass.

 

[Diggus Bickus]

Hey thread derailing faggot we can talk here. You shat up someone else's thread. I was the secondary contributor to that thread.
You wanted to talk about baby cartoons with someone who admits to being a user. You got me and the OP OF THE THREAD ITSELF SWEPT to retard post with a self-admitted retard. The thread is now fucking dead because I'm not going to dig up archives for you guys to repost deadwing dork. Go fuck yourself.
You're a fucking dogshit poster, probably with a mental disability, who's only power in this world is his janny friend on kiwi farms.

If I was you I'd kill myself.

[^] (since you can't reply to profile posts here's the link)

 

[Hamstirer]

Does midget count as a racial slur? It should be legal to capture midget to make them Fight like Pokémon

 

[psycho motor retard]

She was married to a GROYPER!

 

[Doxmatix]

What if AI takes over and starts a complete genocide of the human race but Phil is the only survivor simply because the AI can't tell if he's human or not.

Don’t ask a Syrian to do a Nigerians job.

Are you a 400 pound diabetic that doesn't shower?

He’s not even from Gotham (he’s from Florida), and really is just a man with a skin condition.

This man needs to be dropped in the forest in rural Scandinavia with a halberd and 6 kilos of coke, wearing body cams. Let's see how bored he is then.

SHE'S FAT!!! SHE WEARS A HIJAB AND RIDES A SCOOTER!!! HER FISH IS FROZEN!!! WOOOOOAAAHHH BUDDYYYYY!!!!!

I haven't ever shit in an ice cream bucket but if I tried to sell that I'm thinking it probably wouldn't take off (that's the demand part of supply/demand if you were curious).

"whuuuut the guy/girl I have a crush on for years is dating a bloke she just met?! Well she was always a bitch!" Style moment.
Couldn't be me obviously because bitches love Kiwifarms posters

I know it costs nothing to be nice but being a hater is always free, too.

 

[S.C.U.D.]

I am, in fact, developmentally disabled.

 

[Sean Andalou]

"Cis people see us as sex slaves for them to use," he types with a shaking (yet almost certainly singular) hand.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Next week: Russ tries to solicit a discount Jane Goodall activist.

I've dreaded this moment, I finally caught up with the thread. Now what will I read when I'm skiving in the bogs at work?

Oh , and this hominid has a nursing license, apparently. Sheeit, when I get old, never mind the nursing home; just leave me up on a mountain somewhere and the wolves will figure out what to do with me.

This whole planet is downright gorgeous, and if frauds like Thumbberg and other eco-crazies cared even .01% as much as they pretend to they'd be sending an armada, not a flotilla, to lynch every last jeet in India/Pakistan.

As an aspiring writer you can't learn anything from it other than "If your story resembles this, please molest the nearest high voltage power line ASAP."

I did this because my drinking has deepened (it's a 24-ouncer with an 8% ABV) and I have way too much time on my hands.

"Cis people see us as sex slaves for them to use," he types with a shaking (yet almost certainly singular) hand.

I have these sweet little organs called "eyeballs" that can clock a cock in a frock in less time than a TikTok.

 

[a kiwifarms user]

be free white woman, be free from third world tyranny

 

[Crex Crex]

Lately your solution to every problem has been to rape them and I kind of like it.

 

[Cun75p4rkl35]

yet another problem that could be readily solved by a deep dicking

Giving black people vegan box mac and cheese is a hate crime.

It's crazy that Glitch spent millions bringing tranny fetish porn to the big screen.

 

[Chromeo]

Scrabble removed racial slurs from the official dictionary in 2020 after pressure from BLM/SJWs. George Floyd buying a banana with a counterfeit $20 is why NIGGERS is no longer a valid play.

 

[DickMain]

"memorialized in J. Stile's hoard of erotic Linux Slut images"

 

[Helping Friendly Book]

Let us explain why Elliot Rodger is a worst human being to be born with Hollywood parents, it's recently bad for brainwash ideology is complete moron and disaster. what could things already happened to human world already made and created by Satan.