random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Aunt Carol]

Well, Kiwi Farms user Vulvalover1, you are in for a treat.

Imagine not being turned on by autistic slap fights over the most retarded shit imaginable.

Now in regards to OP's ass, she might just have a very loose and slovenly butthole naturally; as much as I hate to write this, some people simply have very hideous anuses.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Gentlemen, I have a great idea on creating more lolcows in the future. Who here is ready to handle Chris-Chan or Ethan Ralph's cock?

 

[Nooget]

I suppose if you gotta go, going mid-orgasm is probably as good as it gets.

I hope I go out in my sleep in the middle of a wet dream personally

 

[Zeftax]

bro my dick works fine i dont need this information.

Welcome to the Inner Circle of Kiwi Farms. Trannies think we use this part of the site to share CP and plot murders. As you can see, the truth is far more horrifying.

okay null took away my copy and paste permissions for some reason

@Null why dont you just ban me loser

i should start using this site more often

New meaning behind "pitmommy" just dropped and I'm about to barf.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Santa doesn't exist in Runeterra. There are other creatures and wizards who perform that role for him.

I'm sure that filling someone's vagina with a non-Newtonian fluid will have no downsides whatsoever.

He's going to massacre nurses AND Latinos.

I'm actually making a cake later today, so i probably just jinxed it by being mean.

>he doesn't cum like a fire hydrant
do you even yaoi?

 

[stupid frog]

In the past I didn't believe in "the patriarchy," but troons and forced-troon acceptance is the ultimate patriarchy. They've invaded our spaces, girls' sports and now they're dehumanizing us by calling us "birthing people." They lecture us on what it means to be a woman, but can't define what a woman is. You can't hate them enough.

 

[Gentlebastard]

That's not a Christmas display, that's Minecraft fan art.

It's exhausting to be an exhausting person, says "very feminine non-binary trans-masc transman (he/him) who openly does subtle drag for formal events".

It sounds like this is one of those people who makes every interaction feel like a shit test. God help anyone who dates her.

I'm sure that filling someone's vagina with a non-Newtonian fluid will have no downsides whatsoever.

in any other time period, a man lamenting that there is no sisterly bonding among men would be a Monty Python joke

This is one of those posts that makes you feel dumber to have read, so you might be better off just having a bowl of lead paint for dessert instead.

>he doesn't cum like a fire hydrant
do you even yaoi?

safe edgy trash
i want my edge to hurt!
make people want to create linkin park amvs again dammit!

My favorite kind of conflict, the kind where no matter who loses, the rest of the planet wins.

 

[WhoBusTank69]

No photo but the name is from Ghana, so here’s a stock photo of a nigger from Ghana

 

[Aunt Carol]

Why does she post like a priest needs to absolve her for having bad anime game takes?

Shit in a nursing home ain't no thing. Getting shit off of old people is like opening the blinds in the morning.

Fast food management makes a false god look like a fucking baby.

If she claims that working at Taco Bell gave her PTSD, I swear I’m gonna die laughing.

 

[AlfredHitchdick]

I’m not pro-rape but if you’re going to do it at least wear a condom

 

[Illuminati Order Official]

The YouTube poop community is a very strange and alienating place essentially

 

[ScooterL]

build a whorehouse in the horse will come

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Me and a friend rented a porno once that had sex scenes so bad that we fast-forwarded them to watch the insane plot. It was like watching an Ed Wood movie.

I for one don’t know too many capitalists who use Lenin as their PFP, call themselves comrade, and defend the DDR and claim “socialism is better, scientifically.”

It's funny how far down the hole some women are that they think a detail as to whether the shit in their mouth is going down the throat or out the lips is what makes or breaks their brand.

I miss the late '90s/early '00s pornos made by artsy Michael Raven types. Do they even still make feature-length movies today? Everything is a just a random scene for some website, like a woman pretending to be a Jedi or something for twenty minutes.

maybe if Japan had won the war and made anime real you wouldn't exist because your moms would have been sterilized after having their uteruses shredded during a standard tentacle rape.

What an ugly little goblin, I'll be sad if he manages to get out of dying for Israel.

What unemployment, alcohol and unlimited access to social media does to motherfucker

its crazy anyone watches porn. its all middle aged mexicans humping on brazzers/bangbros/reality kings why bother paying for something you can see for free at any good mexican food joint late at night

twitch and tiktok has better looking women and their nudes are usually leaked by some website like sharty or kiwifarms or wherever,

What ran out, money or attention?

Kiwi Farms should at least be on-par with the Texas Rangers at this point.

‘Man who laid down with dogs shocked to discover he has fleas’

 

[DickMain]

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racist.jpg

grok.jpg

(just quoting a sequence of filenames I found to be funny)

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

 

[not william stenchever]

it's impossible to lovingly and respectfully insert your penis in someone's anus

 

[Big Nasty]

Daddy Obama is going to come back from getting ciggies and everything will be okay again.

Asmongold just streaming like everything is normal while people puke and scream in the background would be very good content.

rich young gay dudes who hate anime

 

[Two Dollars]

The (f) stands for FAGGOT.

 

[Sog Dog]

What I bring to the k-farms table is that I fill in the nigger demographic of the website

I'm just some 16 year old autistic faggot, not a glownigger

And then here's the tumblr state of depression, which is where you decide that people are not at fault for disorders, but also people with disorders are indistinguishable from people who are just lazy, so you claim to be disordered as an excuse for being lazy. This, somehow, is the most common form of depression on the internet.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

You'll reconsider your position once he rubs your feet with that manly beard of his.

The correct answer to "are you ticklish?" is "I have diarrhea."

The future is bleak for sexy cartoon girls.

Whatever will pass as the future Allied Mastercomputer, it will take the form of a smol underage anime girl.

Truly the sign of a niggerfied society when vandalism is so common that it's part of the decision making process of building materials.

Netflix reboot - everyone is black and gay, but end stage roosterteeth was already there. Not sure how they could get blacker and gayer than end stage roosterteeth.

I heckkin love science when it agrees that cutting off dicks makes you a real woman

I'm telling you dog.
if a company called themselves Gay Nigger Productions, They'd be self owned men throughout history.
that's how you stop Monopoly.