random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[graywolf88]

a Rastafarian banana lovechild being used as a cum-rag at a carnival.

 

[Jhonson the Two]

Oh, come on, you love talking about your salmons slapping around.

 

[Meat Target]

softball teammates

shemale porn.

You should probably warn the local lesbians that these guys are on their way.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I miss when online socializing was gatekept by technical prowess

I know nothing about your sexual proclivities and am perfectly OK with that.

Day after day, the need for men is replaced by technology. If we aren't even needed to save a woman from a creepy-crawly, what's left for us?

I hate the mewling helplessness most of all. I was never a bully growing up, but I feel bullying urges when I read these descriptions.

 

[Pedophobe]

"Documenting lolcows in an edgy way. At least more edgy than Reddit, and things like that."

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Fucking tourists. Scare them away with anime titties!

 

[PetiteFeet]

She looks like she covers her mud shack in cow dung every month to ward off bad spirits.

Can you be pansexual when nothing wants to have sex with you?

 

[Metamorpho]

No boys, you cannot fix her.

Doesn't matter which one you were tempted to, you can't.

 

[CTR Operative]

From a collection of quotes from iDubbbz's chat:

"My hair is so greasy when I washed it yesterday fuck my chungus life"
""btw alt right losers get soo flustered and mad when you call them chuds... "
"Mullet 10/10 the queers love it"
"I kiss any animal that lets me. I don't care about diseases cause any smooch could be my last anyway."

 

[Aunt Carol]

Speaking on behalf of our many faggots I'm offended by this lack of representation.

There's a bizarre and disturbing world out there.

How does it feel having to live and care for a transphobic cat?

 

[AStupidMonkey]

I come to find info on the sniper, only to find pictures of his sister's butt hole.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

I want to have sex with C. Viper.

 

[Markass the Worst]

Porn-addicted JapanGlazers are taking over the rightwing and making the rational rightwingers like us look like pedotranny JapanGlazers. THEY ARE MAKING DEI LEFTIST LOOK RATIONAL

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

The numbers don't lie, this spells disaster for polycules at Sacrifice

How do these guys come up with the faggiest ways to describe normal human behavior?

If i woke up tomorrow with ElonBucks™ levels of wealth, all I would fucking do is hire people to investigate and find the worst possible HOAs, and then buy up houses in their domains and then fuck them up the ass with lawsuit after lawsuit after lawsuit, until I owned all the properties, and then destroy the covenants. God it'd be so much fucking fun.

seeing Jamal from the hood care about the history of Latvia is comedic due to its unusual nature.

Well, a weasel looks like a cross between a kitten and a snake, so we could forgive them because they have a cute face. They also eat rats and mice so unlike the average redditor weasel's are a net boon to society.

I'd figured the worst relations between men and women in the world would be the interactions between the Man-Hate thread and Woman-Hate thread.

This is not fanfic.net.

HE IS JOBLESS!
HE IS POOR!
HIS JOB APPLICATIONS WERE DENIED!
HE FAILED AS YOUTUBER!
HE IS USELESS!

What is it that compels the leftist to produce such enormous walls of text? They seem to do so at every opportunity provided.

i think boat autism is my new favorite type of autism

That's different god said he could smash box whats a nigga gonna do if god says so

Theres a biological basis for having the urge to bash in the skull of some asshole in traffic who cuts you off and then flips you the bird. It’s still a terrible way to resolve traffic disputes.

"This inbred retard will surely be better."

I had my credit card info stolen last year, and they only used it to buy 2 custom mugs for $40, pathetic.
At least the last time it happened they tried to use it on an $800 las vegas hotel charge
smh even the cybercriminals are consooming

Don't be greedy, share the trauma.

If cows' dick pics get posted here I don't think a vag shot is going to be a problem. I'm not a mod, though.

Unfortunately that is a butt plug not a weird dildo

>claim you're a man
>be into astrology

Nah, it's either one or the other.

Cleary, you haven't read enough shitty fantasy books my brother in christ

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

This whole "label someone as fascist and they will get cancelled thing" stopped working. Update your gayware.

that is an insult to lawn gnomes everywhere

 

[THE SUPREME ONION]

So I'm not saying that Kyla isn't without cum on her hands, or that she's doing anything good, just that I think of all the motivations to be a cum Renfield, I can sympathize with her

 

[CallmeCicada]

@Null told me to take a shower when I asked how I could make my cock not itch anymore.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

And if you listen to her, she sounds like a terminally depressed Wisconsinite - but with melanin.

 

[JustSomeDong]

speaking as a Jewish antisemite—not a "self-hating Jew" at all, becuase I'm fuckin' awesome

 

[Neodanthril]

This is kind of a screwed-up request, but does anyone have any videos of girls being choked to death?