random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Dr. Butt]

we used to ride our bikes around here and now they’re worshipping Ganesh

 

[Cnidarian]

If we were gonna get banned for a week, doing it over our admiration of a thick lady booty is the best way to do it

 

[Solid Snek]

Willing "victims" of kidnapping and statutory rape should be treated as accomplices and charged themselves. ... There need to be harsher penalties to discourage minors from allowing themselves to be victimized.

Why is it that whenever I bring up legitimate issues with underage sex and the lack of punishment for minors who willingly engage in it that I am constantly labeled a pedophile? Never once did I express a desire to fuck children, I just want them to be charged with accessory to statutory rape.

somehow i'm supposed to just be okay with being a slave to support an evil world that allows minors to have premarital sex while I can't even get a legal woman of breeding age.

Honestly it's much harder to find a girl who's legal but also under 40 because so many of them end up moving away or stop following their parents around which means I have no means of encountering them anymore.

If I want sex I have my hand, if I want nonsexual physical affection I have a pillow, if I want companionship I can just fantasize that I am loved, the only thing I crave that I have no substitute for is children of my own(not in a sicko way).

I mostly agree with the assessment of me being a broken person but I refuse to take accountability for not getting "better"

 

[Woggie's child bride]

Stop posting so many of my quotes in random.txt in such a short span of time, it makes me look disingenuous and like I'm just trying to bait engagement. at least save them up to spread over the course of a few weeks. I'm tired of people trying to discredit my positions by implying that I'm just seeking attention.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

Stop posting so many of my quotes in random.txt in such a short span of time, it makes me look disingenuous and like I'm just trying to bait engagement. at least save them up to spread over the course of a few weeks. I'm tired of people trying to discredit my positions by implying that I'm just seeking attention.

 

[Dr. Butt]

(My local shitbeer, our "Duff" or "Alamo", is National Bohemian and they're made by Pabst.)

 

[Shakira Flabbergasted]

Even in a lot of the lolcow threads I'm getting lifemogged by morbidly obese neets.

 

[pollution jim]

I have yet to see any evidence that teens are not Machiavellian schemers looking for every chance to find to entrap an otherwise innocent but desperate man. The potential profits are too great and the risks too low so why not try?

If two minors have sex with each other is that not double rape? Should they not be prosecuted as the rapists they are? What message will this send to them when they're legal adults?

What are you on about? I'm into female white girls.

 

[Tablet County]

Fuck your fucking face Uncle Fucker.

 

[Archie Bunker]

Man I used to really enjoy his videos why did it have to turn out like this

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Fuck off shitskin. The principle of free speech was offered under the idea that the other side would engage fairly and earnestly. You've used our principles against us as a cudgel for long enough, fuck freedom of speech, fuck being polite and fair. Eat shit and die along with your entire bloodline of miscegenated subhuman trash

 

[Blue Gem Kosher Queen]

Hi Anisa, thanks for the mention! Think you can please add to your list of bullying that I personally think a nickelodeon trainee shaped your head in blender (2002 october release) thinking it was a jimmy neutron classmate?

View attachment 7943551

 

[Rotollo 2]

Cancer doesn't usually have a happy ending.

 

[Jhonson the Two]

Look, Hitler was a weird dude. He was a vegetarian and was against animal cruelty even when he oversaw the Final Solution.

 

[Gentlebastard]

"You're a nigger" is protected speech.

"Hang this nigger" is not.

"Niggers are 13% of the population and responsible for 60% of the violence" is protected speech.

"Go to this nigger's house and do a violent thing to him." is not.

Pretty straightforward IMO.

Patrick is not a closeted homosexual.

There's never been a closet in existence that he could fit in at his current mass. I might accept one saying he's a "hangar'd homosexual." I mean, come on guys, be realistic here.

You just know this blew the reporter's mind. This reporter had a bad night after this interview. It went home, got drunk, and almost had decent, coherent human thoughts for the first time in its entire life, having had its eyes opened by a ornery old woman who just finally had enough of the monkeyshines at her favorite restaurant.

That is, surely, what we in the business would call a "fat faggot with bitch tits".

Get on the scale and prove it fatboy. Your fingers have fat folds ffs

Being an unlikable loser, who probably by now has that constant slight urine like smell and rank body odor that even axe body spray won’t cover, really ages a man.

You're just jealous that I've been cast as the Ghost of Pizza the Hutt in Spaceballs 2.

Bro, what the fuck happened to him? He doesn't just look miserable, he looks dead.

He’s on record saying that he hates when people sit next to him at a bar, especially when he is working*.

*Impotently seething on Twitter and replying to his toilet.

 

[mr. testicular torsion]

I can’t believe the rape is gone

 

[crowabunga]

Just another day in the diaperfur traphouse from hell!

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

"why is the teenager fighting an intergalactic war and cooming on his classmates?" because it's anime.

 

[not william stenchever]

That would force like 90% of bookstores to close. It's rape all the way down.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Do you think we're your friends, faggot? Shut the fuck up. I don't want to hear about your weakness, it makes me want to puke, you weak pussy.

Edit: Here I was, shaming others for their cringe. And now here I am, editing my own shameful drunken doublepost. Oh how the tables have tabled.

The aggregate age of the three participants must not exceed 83 years, and the aggregate weight must not exceed 400 pounds.

"Haha, backwards peasant! I am enlightened because I share a fat chick with 3 other greasy nerds in a polycule. This is the Superior Future of dating!"

I know all sub-cultures have their own lingo and inside-baseball terms but Christ help me the polyfags have managed to create some of the worst.

The worst part of this isn't the polyamory. It's not even being a pooner. It's being this much of a Redditor that offends me.

I tried polyamory ONE TIME. It killed my marriage.

Reacts aren't real, they can't hurt you. I promise not to negrate if you spill the drama.

So you're a furry pretending to be a weeb as cover?

There are only two reasons men crossdress:
1. For a joke.
2. It make pee pee hard.

I'm sorry for you not having known a single decent, reasonable person ever.

have they made funkopops of labubus yet?

Alcoholism does wonders on the mental state of a man.

That and their weeks of “uwu TWANS RIGHTS” flirting on twitterwith the violent, incarcerated sex criminal with a smuggled celphone… and then finding out that he’d kept some twink hopped up on heroin while pimping his ass to randos.

He thinks he's an 9/10 because he let some foreigners have their way with him from Russia to Spain.

"I am a robot alien baby who can only speak through a telepathic bird. Alien robot babies are blind and so am I so I can't leave. Let me just rain dolla-dollla bills on your dinner."

"Colonel Earl, sir! I am here to report the enemy has taken a 41% casualty rate. Their vehicles are also completely destroyed, they have no electricity, and they are completely of money."
"Thank you son. ...Was there something else?"
"Well, Colonel, sir ... me and some of the other guys are wondering... when are we going to actually start fighting the trannies?"

Fucking awful, being a public nuisance who keeps people awake with loud music can't be explained away with "muh mental illness".

This "anything but hypocrisy" approach is the death throws of post-modern rationality.

The lolcow fallacy, every lolcow believes they are one argument or twitter ratio from being completely vindicated.

why is it so hard for people to not want to fuck children and animals?

"I don't believe in free will, so I don't hate people who I disagree with you're a product of your environment".

Activism is just an excuse for jobless losers to get away with being jobless losers and they will never ever be happy or content in their lives.

I always wanted opinions, judgment, and reviews from an ex-crackhead homosexual who wants to fuck dogs and small animals.

Anyone who has a major coke addiction at 14 was probably molested