random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Big Nasty]

male genitals in a discernibly turgid state

Trump is like Rodney Dangerfield in caddyshack while Vance is like Chevy Chase in caddyshack.

Do they even make midget porn anymore?

 

[Gentlebastard]

Honestly the dick curve is what I am feeling most apprehensive about.

The Fedposting has reached a near Las Vegas level glow.

Given that ppl used dildos going back through prehistory there's no way dudes weren't fucking strategically cut fruit or whatever they could Jerry-rig while watching cave paintings

"I'm a cool dude, I dance, play piano, write holocaust revisionist screenplay, and threaten to murder girls who've rejected me. You know, just a typical guy."

I imagine the venn diagram of "Sufferers of the worst schizophrenia symptoms" and "Hardcore psychotropic drug abusers" is almost, but not quite, a perfect circle.

Make schizos shamans again!

Surely more paint balloons are the answer to this new tactical quandary.

 

[ASeabear8952]

What Japan did in WWII is small potatoes compared to Jord Sandeaux Cobeler's acts towards Mrs. Green.

 

[Aunt Carol]

ooh sorry I didn't realize it was possible to force "the state of being black" into someone's orifices

what is an empty can of sodie but another foot skin receptacle to put on your sacred devotional altar to your gods?

 

[clipartfan92]

Anyone got an archived copy of Wet Ass Farts?

 

[Aunt Carol]

He, uh, looks like a Mr Potato Head in a wig, can't be bothered to keep his diabetes in check, and requires a steady supply of great value pasta sauce to maintain locomotion.

No idea why she thinks it's a good idea to hitch her wagon to Missouri's laziest troon.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

Disregard that insanity. I lost my fucking mind for a second. I was balls deep in Russian social media too long digging or something.

 

[The Taxman]

Linux is not shit because it's free, Linux is free because it's shit.

 

[Blitzsneed]

Turning hood niggas into white hood niggas

 

[Mola Ram]

Gotta have that welfare state
Gee I need to lose some weight
Abortion on demand is great
Those were the days

 

[part timer]

Other than that, I really don't have and will never be providing anyone here with anything valuable in terms of what you're looking for. I don't see the point in continuing to engage here unless it's to help produce a thread on the guy.

I don't really care to prove anything to the people here, none of you are fans of mine. I've proven everything I need to already.

You know where to reach me if you want help co-authoring a thread

 

[Spergichu]

Man... I have seen a video of three men entering the ass of another man while YCMA plays in the background, and I still have never seen anything this gay.

 

[Aunt Carol]

My homeboy drac d!dn't fuck!ng take a fuck!ng stake to the ass from that homosexual terror!st van hells!ng for th!s

“If I want to rape you, I will - penis or no penis!”

I utilize both eyes now!

Surprisingly thin polycule members.

i kind of immediately freaked out because oh god everyone can see it but then i remembered i only got a two incher and i was wearing pretty thick jeans LOL.

 

[CaddestSlown]

Modern warfare is so fucking gay. Bring back mustard gas.

 

[StudMccool]

Nigger's probably so poor section 8 gave him two houses.

There is no one coming to save us. It is up to us. Everyone stays, everyone fights.

 

[Aunt Carol]

No you don't understand this retarded woman who is obsessed with a public domain bug is INFURIATING AND NEEDS TO BE ATTACKED.

I have reason to believe that “barbiebimbo2000” may be lying about being cis.

 

[3MMA]

What if Nick Rekieta is channelling his inner Russel Greer and Aaron Imholte is his Taylor Swift

 

[Meat Target]

"I've got fifty bucks, can I see your mom's tits?"

 

[Gog & Magog]

When I was a kid I once got so disruptive and vulgar in an AOL chat that an administrator instant messaged me saying if I didn't tone down the sexual humor, I would lose my account. Two minutes later I lost my account.

when i was a small child i got a one week ban from roblox for typing "bitch" in chat and cried so hard i threw up

I was roasting marshmallows over the fireplace and also working on the innards of my desktop computer and dropped a marshmallow onto the videocard which was still hot from being on recently.

Then in an absolute fiend move, I didn't want to waste it, scraped the sticky substance from my nvidia encrusted candyland and ate it and it tasted of battery.

When I was a lot younger I found my way onto a free movie site, and when the expected inescapable loud pop-up happened I broke down crying and called for my mom because I couldn't close it.

 

[SlaanyChaser]

we should shame certain mental illnesses & kinks until the people either become normal or a suicide statistic

faking yet another suicide attempt when he got mogged by Chick-Fil-A

Niggas need dragons DEAD.

"Oh fuck, I'm an adult and have no actual skills and my life is a lie because nobody caught me."

I didn't know you could neglect a child so bad it becomes retarded.

If you have one drop of nigger blood or Jew blood or latinigger blood you are not white.

This film is dedicated to the gallant people of Afghanistan.

If he’s going into the woods anywhere, let it be the Aokigahara Forest.

They're like if juggalos were autistic pseudo-intellectuals.

I pray I never see your obituary in the shitbull thread

That's why the dog attacked, she smelled another bitch in the house and didn't like it.

Everytime someone uses the word artist to describe Chris I die on the inside.

You ever look at a piece of art and you know a Mexican made it?

The only sound null hears inside his head is the one that compels him to feed

STILL cannot get the taste of Joe Biden's dick out of his mouth

Some days, seeing a jeet get cut in half by a train is the only thing that puts me in the right frame