random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Bill Evans 45]

She must smell like Satan took a runny dump in a field of lilacs. Super.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

How did you come across this nigger weed man who openly does so on Facebook who also happens to have a raped dog?

Every time I come here I appreciate having normal looking functional genitals. Something I have always taken for granted.

GULAG NOW!!!

Just send in a roomba with a pentagram painted on it’s top side with a goat skull glued onto it.

Every bubble has to pop, right?

That's definitely one way to deal with diabeetus.

bro you dropped your... dick

This time next year I'd better be using authentic Joshua Connor Mountbatten's Royal Reserve brand honey.

Well, I'm sure there weren't a bunch of Toilet Technicians hanging around the airport in India, so they had to fly to the nearest place with toilet experts. So back to Chicago, I guess, a town with a long and storied history of indoor flush technology.

The toilet witches are our greatest line of defense against the India menace. Their bravery shall be rewarded once the great flush is achieved.

I thought I had already read all the most disgusting posts this site has to offer. I see that I was mistaken.

The fuck tree looks like it's seen some shit.

The man made horrors don't get any easier to behold even when they're within your comprehension.

why is posting yourself naked doing all kinds of behind closed doors a thing nowadays? although you shouldn’t chop your cock off and shove things in the hole whether behind closed doors or not behind closed doors, christ almighty i cannot even anymore with this madness.

This must be the alternate ending of the Giving Tree.

I really want this conflict to have its genesis with there being insufficient pimpy bloodline in this pup.

If your trailer sucks ass then the whole shebang is going to suck the whole gastric system down a pool drain.

I want to resurrect the Founding Fathers to show them this article only to then immediately shove them back in the grave without any further context.

I felt really dirty reading some of this shit. Hopefully some alcohol and math can cleanse it from my mind.

THEY'RE EATING THE DRUGS
THEY'RE EATING THE GRANDMAS.

I don’t want in but I AM willing to become a Jamfluencer and shamelessly shill various jams on social media in exchange for complimentary jams and affiliate codes.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Shut the fuck up faggot. Anyone can be as gay as we want whenever we want however we want.

How do you not have a pink triangle yet?

it was a lot funnier when I said it. Yours just sounds like you need to jerk off more

The Fuck Tree is famous.

Pornographic Qix used to be a whole subgenre in Japan. I really can't tell why.

 

[TheRetardKing]

Frankly, politics is not for people with Asperger's syndrome

 

[Tablet County]

twitter trump fans mad that team trump is full of conservative christians and not esoteric gooner racists

 

[Aunt Carol]

Discount tickets and chicken tendies everywhere you go? God, they’re never happy!

Just to be clear, I am not incontinent.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

"Look here bud, I've been around the block a bit. 50 years young. Divorced twice, widowed thrice. And let me tell you, when I look at SpongeBob and I look at Squidward, I just know that Spongebob's the big spoon. I know it, you know it, and everyone on the SpongeBob Squarepants Wiki knows it. Get good, and God bless your heart, son."

 

[Cheesy Beavy]

You look like someone who likes costco pizza....

 

[Aunt Carol]

dont underestimate the puzzle piece. after all you can only see so many trains before it gets boring, right?

 

[Hitman One]

>Comes back to thread
>It's an absolute shitshow
Lovely.

 

[John Shedletsky]

"No we have fucking NOT. We have NOT done a knockout study on NIGGER DICK SIZE."

 

[Tablet County]

knockoutstudy.mp4
"No we have fucking NOT. We have NOT done a knockout study on NIGGER DICK SIZE."

I love this "debate" so much. I wish I had a copy of the whole recording.

We're a good honeypot - kids aren't welcome here.

I consider it a violation of my rights to hear an opinion from anyone under the age of 18.

 

[Oliver Onions]

He injured himself "by accident" preforming both a protection spell and a magic missile spell on New Orleans and/or other people.

 

[Jason Wynn]

“Every time I eat a pizza, an IOF soldier dies.”

 

[Tablet County]

Is it really necessary to give your political commentary every time you post in the thread where we're making fun of a guy that spends all day arguing with his toilet on twitter?

The plot fattens......

"yes I beat that spade but he shouldn't have attacked me"

I'm sorry. "The rampant furry porn on our children's platform is actually your problem, if you don't like it don't let your kid play Roblox"??

 

[CaddestSlown]

GO AIDS VULTURE!

 

[Tablet County]

Without seeking clearance from his consciousness, Tyson's penis prepared for Phase Two.

 

[Oliver Onions]

If we shot all old people we could easily afford to give 50 billion more dollars to Israel.

 

[Pedophobe]

"On kiwifarms, you're nobody's friend, they will all prey on you until you die."

"I understand how hard it is to be in my shoes."

I don't think it's fair to blame it all on autism. There's also clearly a heavy dose of common low-IQ retardedness at work, too.

 

[Xarpho's Return]

God, europe is so fucking gay.