random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Counterfeit Obol]

Spoiler: My balanced and carefully composed response to this well-reasoned argument

You are a nigger.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

Imagine getting stabbed to death by a schizo and the first thing anyone can come up with to say is comparing him to an anime character.

If only common sense and decency could be traced

They might appear to integrate poorly because new users are more sane than older users, since KF actually turns you retarded and newer users have had less exposure. Going on KF is like entering the chamber with the elephant's foot, if you're going to venture in there you only want to do it in short periods, isolated from your environment, otherwise your brain will develop holes and you'll become gay.

And more importantly what consequences should there be for those who didn’t partake in our cult activities?

We literally have people on Twitter waiting until he dies to yell at KingCobraJFS.

 

[CEO of Gay]

What in the fuck did I just stumble into.
From people who use the same name everywhere to "I just don't like this person" to sherlock assholes.

 

[Aunt Carol]

If I had a child who of their own free will sat through and enjoyed Ghostbusters (2016) and could not get beyond the 40-minute mark watching the original, I would kill them and my spouse, then burn my house down with me inside.

Sir, she grew a child in her uterus.

 

[Oliver Onions]

In other words, the judge is a feature tourist doing a driveby posting in a thread he doesn't care about.

no one showed up to his 4 restraining orders against KF (not even he) and he still lost.

 

[Hitman One]

I'm practically on the edge of orgasm awaiting the arrest. I can feel the intense nigger energy coming off this case.

 

[Crex Crex]

A list of things men have been known to fuck: children, corpses, animals, couches, pies, pringle cans, car exhaust pipes, crackwhores, and your mother.

This is a big fucking deal.

If you're retarded.

"A woman enjoys intercourse with her man -- as she fantasizes about raped by 3 men simultaneously" - Bernard "Bernie" Sanders

He Died as He Lived, as Shit in the Toilet.

Oregon mental health board consumer JD Holt uses turtle pronouns

 

[Return of the Freaker]

I also wonder what the Wright Brothers would say if they could see their great invention being used to allow a drug addict father of 5 to have gay sex with a puppet.

 

[Hitman One]

Imagine obsessing over the lives of people with literal brain damage. The Chinese are truly pathetic. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go check on Ethan Ralph.

 

[Spectate]

do i really need to show you guys that I'm not black

 

[taxisguy]

I'm done shitting up the thread about non-Tifa stuff. I've done you the kindness of speaking to you in your guttertongue. Now speak English. Fluently.

 

[Gentlebastard]

But no woman who is worth 3000 an hour charges 3000 an hour. They charge nothing, because they're your wife not some whore. But that's enough wholesome posting for me, now back to laughing at the cow.

The comments on there is a goldmine. Most of them are licking the window of self-awarness

I've always looked at "love dolls" as basically the official "I've accepted the fact I likely will never be intimate with a woman so I'm just going to embrace being a weirdo sex pervert" move.

Who first corrupted you?

Was it a crazed dairy farmer?

This may be the first time in history that someone said they would like to be Russell Greer.

 

[CaddestSlown]

You're a fucking nigger and I hope you choke on your tough microwaved meat.

I work 9 hours a day, prepare hot meals everyday, and still have enough time to call you a NIGGER.

His mouth looks like a fucking potoo bird. It inspires disgust in me.

 

[Black Man Underwear]

Meds

Please take your pills Kiwi fren. They're good for you.

Nigga if I took my pills I wouldn't be on this site and neither would 90% of the lolcows

worms OUT tonight to charge in the blood moon, warm up that curse jar!

 

[bearycool]

You honor me with posting that random.txt of mine. It's one of my favorites when I mafe that diatribe about Couch Cuck

 

[Aunt Carol]

"Are there places people can buy things," asks man in a post on the internet.

 

[vomitusdeux]

All apologies to Shrek who I don't think would neglect Zendaya into a flat head.

What's an invasion, but a consent accident between different countries?

I will check her upcoming vlogs for potential wiping candidates.

can someone talented please make a visual of amber wiping on the corner of a sink? I'm begging yall.

IT WASHES THE SHIT RAGS IN THE SINK, OR IT WIPES THE SHELF ASS AGAIN.

I wouldn't know, I'm not a nigger who vomited risotto.

Your name is Pussy Repellent

You call this thing a vagina? Looks more like a pair of ballsacks pushed together

I AM TRANS YOU PURPLE TRIANGLED FUCK

i asked if you wash your neovagina

My favorite conversation is explaining to my friends and family why I have a horse cock in my bathroom.

Nope. Dear Mrs. Lochmann had to look at a lavender colored horse schlong in her powder room.

PS: Yes there's a second bathroom in the master bedroom, but the horse dick was in the main bathroom.

The bucket next to your desk isn't a bathroom

"Hey, Colton. Why do you have a horse cock in your bathroom?"

"Because I really like horse cocks. I fucked a horse once."

Colton is so unfamiliar with soap he doesn't know it has a color even when it isn't being used.

Horse cum doesn’t count as soap

Do your udder flaps slap together like thunder sticks when your farts redirect out your amhole?

There is literally no situation where you should be having sex AND thinking about Colton or any other lolcow for that matter.

He was meant to take me to an horror convention called Transworld.

What did Colton's dick do to betray him?

I recognize that gay butthole.

Fact: People think gay folk are just really into gross gay sex, but that's actually how they identify one another. Kind of like how dogs sniff each other's butts, gay men have to look at each other's asses in order to recognize each other.

I have rarely seen a kike who looks so much like he has aids or alternatively recently survived a camp

I watch his video he is always sniffing my ear like a biden before having an asthma attack.

I will buy a Tesla right after I get done shaving my legs and a finding a dress that doesn't make me look fat.

You either die a Kiwi, or live long enough to become a troon.

He got excited about receiving human contact from a woman that did not require date rape.

When will Texas and Null stop oppressing lolicons she's a 10,000 year old vampire loli from Mesopotamia if anything she should be the one on the watchlist! ITS JUST NOT FAIR.

Why the fuck is she announcing she's having her beef curtains snipped? Ew.

 

[Spectate]

"Treating me like a monkey. Stoning me. Throwing me off buildings. Putting me in the gas chambers" Did we do that?

No, but we raped him psychically.

 

[Drip Torch]

Her name is Grimes

 

[Dead Lion]

No, District Judge, Child, your ruling is fake. I get to decide whether the defendants get any money. Enjoy prison