random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[KiwiFuzz2]

Because you touch yourself at night.

eta: I am flying left seat this time. Yuri can go fuck himself.

I hope this was all a lead up to a reading of My Pet Goat.

Science tells me that shit comes out of those, common sense tells me it’s gross to lick them.

Shitfaced dudes are going to piss somewhere inappropriate. A military setting just makes it more likely that it will involve another human or something dear to them. I have been the witness, victim, or perpetrator many dozens of times. Sometimes you're the hero, other times the villain.

One of the big lessons of the Old Testament is that some people do not learn.

Have you ever considered burning a flag in front of town hall and telling the mayor to eat a dick?

If you aren't willing to assault an elected official in order to get better services then you aren't ready for freedom

They failed to mention that at the end of "the rainbow of safety" is the dungeon of butt rape.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Sincerely, there's nothing too wrong with a faggot.

I'm not saying she has it great, but the US is not the worst place in the world to be a fat load.

 

[Dr. Butt]

I hope ICE deports his pus-smelling, skinwalking, camel humped, skinny-fat ass back to china where he'll be processed into chinese food-grade castor oil, A-S-A-A-P!

 

[PositiveMonk]

You need to pull a Budd Dwyer and ingest some 38 special, it's the only cure to this brain rot

 

[Hitman One]

If I was related to her I would help her pass the time by keeping her up to date on Kiwifarms drama. Shed learn all about Rikeita

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

do you have a plan for if you're ever right about something someday?

As a matter of fact I've actually been listening to the radio more than youtube lately because a conservative news talk show is more entertaining than a 6 hour video essay on why icarly speedrunning is connected to gay sex.

 

[Dr. Butt]

You people need to stop.

 

[S.C.U.D.]

I feel like I've fully accepted I'm a lolcow at this point

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

What. Why. Why would doing something that would legally bar you from coming within 500 feet of a school be your first reaction.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

the minions were right, never goon.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

I obviously have no proof but I can promise I’m not gay enough to lie about something like this, but clearly I am autistic enough to remember it.

Mr. Veteran is my father, you can call me Retard.

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

I’ll just have my son’s wiener sliced up in Mexico, chuds! And start a charity to help fund others!

 

[stupid frog]

BUD PLEASE I AM CANADIAN. BUDDY PLEASE HELP I AM FUCKING CANADIAN. PLEASE BUDDY I AM CANADIAN, PLEASE FUCKING HELP ME

 

[World-ClassWrangler]

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

When I was younger, I would play the Sakura Wars theme for people and tell them that it was the national anthem of Japan. Most of them believed me.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I was gonna make an effort, then I remembered that I was drawing Naruto fanart.

"Why do you have a rash on your nose?"
"I was huffing the fumes from dog shit."

Brain

after a 2 year hiatus I've come back to post to this thread

If I wanted to read about ugly people, I would just go to KiwiFarms.

Yes, Crane, you jerk it to real people, but holy shit why would you reveal your porn to us?

He's a hateful little gremlin who has admitted he literally likes to eat shit.

END OF RINE FOR BIOWARE.

DING DONG BANNU.

He and Jen could even have some hot lesbian action, but unfortunately, none of them has a penis anymore so they can't have sex.

They should still have their prostates. They can work their atrophied walnuts through the poopchute or neogina.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

I would also say that even as lowly as they are we have a responsibility to take care of our slaves and our government does a poor job of it, I would be a better slave owner. Slavery should be un-nationalized and I should be able to purchase a felon from the government to weed my garden. I would at the very least rape him less, probably not at all!

my theory (controversial) is he’s just a retard

Bro really thinks hes important and his feelings matter and people should care about them. Lol!

 

[NerdShamer]

.. You all are dumber than me.

by claiming hacking, etc, you do realize how much attention you've brought on yourselves?

from WORSE trolls than you?

are you stupid?

 

[Aunt Carol]

Oh thank God, a trans person writing about what it’s like to be trans and his personal journey of self-discovery. I don’t think we’ve ever seen that before.

I don't believe a guy who pisses in diapers, sleeps in a crib, and suddenly needs a bunch of medical interventions married a woman who fetishizes disabled babies by accident.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Someone who I pretty much view as actual proof of demonic activity on earth is most likely faking her death after accusing me of posting child porn and you are a central character in that.