random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Lords Greatsword]

You go to work every day pay your taxes and never hurt anyone no one will remember you but if you retweet a big naked black woman one time you'll always be known as the guy who retweeted a big naked black woman

 

[Aunt Carol]

"At least, I'll have my ass wiped for the rest of my life....wait...I can't feel the paper, I can't smell my shit, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I WAS WEARING A DIAPER!!!"

Squirrels stole our lolcow

 

[Oliver Onions]

getting a hair transplant makes you no better than a tranny getting their bottom surgery

 

[Gentlebastard]

She’s the ultimate milf. I want her to do weird hippy cult shit to my scrotum while killing off all US warhawks that want to bomb Iran.

Every night I dream about her doing something insane like rubbing a tarot card on my testicsls before she pushes John Bolton into a volcano.

Are you one of those weirdos who ignores the meaning when the tarot card is revealed upside down?

Just because I defend my right to be racist doesn’t mean I feel the need to use it at all times.

I don’t trust him. How could he live in Russia this long without getting a pet bear?

this is why you have a thread. Most people do not post on a micro-blog and talk themselves into an admission that they are sub-human.

telling journoscum they're retards never gets old

Theater-kid-ocracy is truly the most miserable form of government.

I want to buy convinced felons from the government like livestock and force them to maintain my property by the end of a whip. The 13th amendment makes it clear slavery is cool in this instance and I want jamarqus to make me a mint julip. More on this later.

Having to engage in conversation with someone who refuses to accept being wrong about anything is truly a wondrous experience all people should have.

I'll use one of those freeware AIs that give the actresses beachball-sized tits.

This is a retard war of the mind.

"You see, your honor, I HAD to drive home drunk from the bar, because how else was I going to get my car home so I could go to work in the morning?"

We could declare all trees to be illegal, and clearcut all the forests, but Captain Planet would not approve. Also, with all the trees gone, where would we hang all the politicians and journalists when the Day of the Rope comes? There's not enough lampposts for them all.

"Heh, they lost " - man who lost his phone and dignity at Chubby Cheesesteak.

the official keeper of the Kevin Can't Lesbian receipt

there is a very small part of me that wishes the only conflict in my life was waking up at six in the morning to fearpaste at anonymous trolls on twitter.

 

[CaddestSlown]

Fuck off. Women are better off servants and sucking my dick.

 

[I'm Retarded?]

US niggers use guns and they say stuff like "Man, I had to yank out a old heads tongue and wiped dey' ass with it." where a UK nigger will be like "Oi my chips are a tad bit salty than the morrow' chips, now where can I find a tiny 10 year old lad supple in the flesh to molest? Jolly good!"

 

[PointOfNoReturnPoint]

Thankfully, I was born with an inherent and vicious hatred for all things communism. It's like the gene for smelling asparagus piss. It's kind of a problem.

 

[CaddestSlown]

I'm so tired of buying drain-o bros.

Be honest, do y'all (or have you) considered me a "fed?"

Feds are usually troons, not granny chasers

US politics thread has the best niggerfaggots, the yugest. We love our resident niggerfaggot, don't we, folks?

Must've been hard concentrating on work with that raging hard on.

Thankfully, my boss is more racist than I am, so I have job stability.

 

[Black Man Underwear]

"You are the smartest retard I have ever met in my life."

 

[Crex Crex]

Red Mist: The Chronicles of Dong-suk and San Hye is an upcoming tranime/capeshit adult picture book series following the exploits of the titular protagonists as they survive in a nigger-infested Pusan: the epicenter of the apocalyptic Negroid Impact.

the series throws the viewer into the perspective of Dong-suk, a former Americophile and civil rights lawyer who became an ardent yank-hater after witnessing his young daughter getting raped to death by a feral pack of niggers.

This topic is like a revers Schindler's list.

Gay fanfiction is one life’s simple joys

 

[Cheesy Beavy]

Ah, yes, cruising for hookups in rando bathrooms. A fag classic

WHY CAN'T I JUST MAKE FETISH CONTENT WITHOUT BEING JUDGED

if TWINS can copycat eachother, WHY can't artists make the same excat pose, or change somethings, and just do a different character?

BOOM. COMMON SENSE IS BACK!

I WILL learn hacking from a professional. if it takes shutting you all down.

 

[Markass the Worst]

I feel like a loser, shit sucks, and now I can only post fucking fart art.

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

Planes are a type of TRANSport.

The absolute horror. Hearing people speak portuguese on American soil...

 

[CaddestSlown]

I feel the need to gently remind folks that the last guy to sperg about Mormons all over A&N got banned. Can we talk about the plane crash and that Alex Jones just suggested he wants to smell Tulsi Gabbard's ass?

 

[Betonhaus]

Accused pedophile

 

[Cheesy Beavy]

Well, unfortunately today is the day I learned that black men shout in porn and that they like to use fake rubber cocks. Often Kiwifarms can be too educational but still I keep coming back.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Imagine waking up, checking your phone, and discovering that the internet thinks you're responsible for slaughtering dozens of figure skaters.

 

[Dracula's Spirit Animal]

I have over six thousand posts on Kiwifarms, so I am an expert in retards, and that chick is clearly fucking retarded.

 

[DickMain]

Suck my dick, nerd. I, as an American, can put anything I want in my grilled cheese.

 

[Oliver Onions]

I don't really understand how a tranny ends up defending Hitler of all people but it sure does make for some fun headlines.

a racist, anti-semetic, Islamophobic, anti-mexican tranny? What's her username here?